About Daniele

Daniele of Domestic Serenity is a woman seeking grace in this journey of intentional living. She is more than aware of her lack, depending on a God who sustains and provides - there's no other way to live. A pastor's wife and homeschool mother of five, Daniele is passionate about celebrating family and nurturing the hearts of other women. She and her family live out their days in central Pennsylvania, where Daniele enjoys cooking, writing, reading, and photography.

Being a Compassionate Wife and Better Mom Monday’s Link-up!

June 2, 2013 By Daniele

Last May, my husband lost his position with the company he had served for over 14 years.

While there had been some hints and clues in previous months, the news still came as a surprise. One day he was employed, then a few days later it was all over. Company cutbacks, and our family wasn’t the only one affected.

We were incredibly blessed with a severance package, limited but extended insurance, and there was a savings account to fall back on for a time. In reality, our situation wasn’t exactly hopeless or disastrous. Besides, God is our ultimate provider!

But, I don’t think my heart got that entire message. Not at first.

Even though I knew all of this information, my emotions went into overdrive just a wee bit. Okay, a BIG bit. We were smack dab in the middle of a large home improvement project and stress levels were already at premium.

I stressed about the project, thinking we would have waited if only we knew….

I became overwhelmed by the question will it be easy or difficult to find other employment?

I tossed and turned over many thoughts, except the ones I needed to be focused on from the start.

What is my husband feeling? How is he doing?

And to take it one step further — How can I bless him right now?

As wives, it’s so easy to become carried away with our concerns and to forget or neglect considering the heart concerns of our spouse.

I’m not suggesting you totally disregard your emotions or feelings, but I do think it’s incredibly tempting to think of ourselves first and get stuck there. In this situation, both my husband and I had questions. Both of us were thinking about the future and wondering next steps. Both of us needed understanding and compassion for the road ahead.

But being initially stuck on my own swirl of emotional response wasn’t exactly helpful overall.

So today, I offer just a few things I learned about being a compassionate wife from this experience:

1. PAUSE. Before jumping the gun, turning molehills into mountains, or bombarding our spouses with whatever is on our minds right now — hold off for a bit. If this seems incredibly difficult, well…it is. But, not impossible.

2. PRAY. We need discernment ladies. Sometimes we’re asking our spouse to help and listen to every little detail when the Lover of our souls is available to hear us out. God will help us filter through the pile of reactions and calm our hearts, maybe before approaching our husbands.

3. PAY ATTENTION. Take note of his needs as well as your own. It’s scriptural to think of others and not only of ourselves (Phil 2:4), especially in a marital relationship. Your husband desperately needs to know his heart is safe with you, and that you care deeply enough to pay attention to what’s going on.

4. PRACTICE. Yes, in order to make it stick…we probably need practice. I know I do! Apply these steps to real life situations, asking the Holy Spirit to change your way of response.

Being a wife who is compassionate towards her husband’s needs is not only a godly goal, but one which will benefit and enrich your marriage!

Are there other steps or suggestions you would add?

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Better Mom Mondays Link-up is every Monday!!! Every week we have hundreds of posts linked up here from so many beautiful women with beautiful things to share! I encourage you to visit their sites by clicking on the links and reading all of the fantastic ideas and insights! Also don’t forget to join the fun by adding your blog!! We request that if you join below -please add the Better Mom Mondays Link Up button to your post so your readers can find us here! (Posts can include the topics of mothering, marriage, homemaking, discipleship, recipes, organization and more!) You can find the html code in the sidebar, or “save as” copy, and paste the button below.

22 Comments | Filed Under: Link-ups, Marriage/Relationships

Give Yourself the Gift of Rest

May 10, 2013 By Daniele

With this month’s focus on Mother’s Day, I hope you’ve had opportunity somewhere in the celebrations to prop your feet up a little…

…and REST.

I know, it may seem like a foreign concept in our Mommy days of fullness and busyness. We’re responsible for so much care of home and hearts; and if you’re in the days of nurturing little ones, the tasks just pile up at times.

Actually, that goes for the care of big ones too! Mom responsibilities shift as our children age, but they definitely don’t disappear altogether.

What’s a mother to do? And how do we honor this practice of rest in our days?

We must be intentional about creating space for pausing. I know from experience quiet time for Mom just won’t happen naturally. Rest is God’s gift to us so we take care not to burn out in this journey of motherhood.

While I definitely don’t have it all figured out, there are a few habits I’ve found incredibly vital to being a more rested Mom. Those are the words to emphasize: more rested.

Just aiming at being a little more relaxed than you are currently. There’s no need to try and overhaul everything at once, step by step changes are more lasting.

And if you’re in the phase of newborns, infants or just have another reason for your normal patterns of rest being ‘off’ – take heart! It’s a phase which will pass. Roll with it until normalcy returns.

Tips for Rest

1. Prioritize sleep :: whenever, however, wherever it can happen for you! If a full night’s 7-9 hours is possible, try not to cut yourself short. Take naps as needed or able, they’re good for you!

2. Purposefully pause in your day :: STOP your work – all of it. This can be for however long you decide, even 15 minutes is beneficial. For a short time somewhere in your day, every day…pause everything and enjoy a quick relaxing activity.

Read, listen to music, enjoy coffee or tea while sitting, nap! or whatever brings you refreshment. Then go ahead and get back to work, it will be waiting for you!

3. Plan for extended time away :: once a week, once a month, whatever works out to be a regular (or semi-regular) pattern. The goal is to plan for it. Go out to a Bible study alone, gather with girlfriends, a date night, or just roam and window shop. Establish a habit a longer times of pausing from your regular rhythm of work to enjoy time off.

: :

Mother’s Day shouldn’t be the only celebration of all we do and who we are to our families. A great gift to both yourself and your family is a Mom who is rested and refreshed!

Do you take regular time to pause and rest?

Tell us what you enjoy doing most!

Post written by Daniele of Domestic Serenity

{photo credit}

7 Comments | Filed Under: Following God, Hope, Prayer, Uncategorized

The Benefit of Simple Systems & Better Mom Monday’s Link-up!!

March 10, 2013 By Daniele

I’m sure it’s not a far stretch to say most of us Moms are busy.

We coordinate playdates, sports schedules, holiday planning, volunteering at church, running a troop, etc. all while trying {desperately at times} to keep the house clean and a decent dinner on the table! Even the most organized among us could easily become overwhelmed by all the details.

I’m in the same boat and definitely don’t have all the answers. I do offer a tiny tip of what has worked — well, at least when I work it. Simple systems.

Figuring out how to streamline and make routine things which need to be done over and over (and over) again.

Why have a system?

Well, because it helps not having to give prime energy to thinking about what to do and how to do it. A system takes a bit of time to establish, but after routinely practicing it, becomes second nature almost.

Imagine brushing your teeth. I doubt any of us still go through the entire process of really thinking about what we’re doing. No…you just brush.

But, most likely in a certain way. You might even start on the same exact side every. single. time. Then you rinse and finish up. Or finish up everything and then rinse.

Whatever it is — there’s a way it’s done without a lot of extra thought. That’s the benefit of a system!

Other Benefits of Systems

We could probably brainstorm this all day, but here are a few:

establishes a way of doing things for yourself
and for the family!
makes routine activities a little more calmer
save precious brain energy
helps others to know what to do when you’re unable

If applicable, your family can be brought in on this system stuff and when everyone is pretty much on the same page of what to do and how — these routine necessaries of life go sooo much smoother. Oh, it’s never perfect, and that’s not the goal. But it can be easier.

Important Systems for the Home

There are many areas of life to suggest implementing a way of doing things, but I’ll share a list for home life. Just think if you had a basic way of doing these things how much time and energy could be saved!

Here are a few areas to think on establishing a system. For each, the primary questions are: when will I get this done and how will I do it?

Okay, here we go!

meal planning: weekly, monthly or another idea
grocery shopping
cooking: what works – once a month, daily or weekly?
laundry: collecting dirty clothes, washing/drying, putting away
cleaning the home: one big swoop, or a bit daily?
kid’s chores: who does what, and when
decluttering or spring/fall cleaning
mail and the paper trail: where does it go, what to do with junk mail
the family calendar: online or paper? updating/coordinating
paying bills: auto pay, snail mail or what

The list could go on, because our lives do! We have a ton to coordinate and be responsible for, and having an established simple way of handling these areas will bring more peace to our lives.

If you’re overwhelmed, take it one area at a time. Trying to overhaul everything at once doesn’t make sense — start slowly and make lasting changes.

Any other areas you would add?

photo credit

{post written by Daniele of Domestic Serenity; who is also trying to establish simple systems in her life!}

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So now it is time to LINK-UP and join the party!!!!

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21 Comments | Filed Under: Babies, Boys, Discipling Children, Following God, Girls, Hope, Parenting, Special Needs, Teens, Toddlers, Uncategorized

Finding Security as a Mom & Better Mom Mondays Link-up!

February 25, 2013 By Daniele

It’s both amazing and humbling how the introduction of children to life turns our hearts to singing and our minds to spinning - all at once.

Even if we entered adulthood fairly secure in who we are and just what we’re about, motherhood has a way of turning this completely upside-down. Or at least the questions haunt us if we’re honest. They’re laced with fear and desperation at times…

Should I really follow this method for putting the baby to bed?

How will we discipline? Will our educational choice be right? Should we stick with just one?

Am I a helicopter mom to my kids – are we good parents? Do I allow them enough decisions and enough freedom?

Am I a fun mom, do my kids even like me? What about their friends? Should I even care about that?

Oh my the questions can list long! And here’s perhaps the ultimate: Will they turn out all right?

Will they?

Motherhood can pull a number on our sense of security. It’s an internal struggle for sure, but external pressures surround us too. There are other moms, and we view them through the lens of our inadequacies, often finding them much better, much {whatever} than we are.

Parenting books, family comments, teacher evaluations, and on and on. It’s exhausting hanging our value as moms on shifting ground, but we do.

May I suggest this as a first step? To admit we will (or do) struggle with some level of insecurity in our mothering?

Yet, there’s also hope. Really — there is. The goal is not seeking always feeling secure; life rocks the boat enough.

Instead I want to encourage you to find steadiness of thinking.

I say we choose to steady our mind instead of giving completely in to vicious thoughts of how horrible we are. Who wants that really?

Here’s some encouragement from a woman on the journey too:

We need The Word: Jesus our Savior, and words of Scripture. This will be the oxygen mask of life when those panic, can’t breathe moments of raising kids come our way. Knowing, rehearsing, reading words which speak truth will steady us. Deep connection to our Savior will calm our spirits.

We need Community: Friends on the Journey. Don’t go it solo, okay? God created us to be interdependent, and within community we find shoulders to cry on, hearts to listen. Other women who will speak the truth in love, and share our burden.

We need Outside Help. Just maybe…our insecurity journey is a super serious block to living joyfully most of the time as a mom. Dear sister – seek help. It’s more than okay to get professional assistance or resources, your motherhood for the long-run is worth it.

:: ::

Standing firmly and securely as a Mom is a journey, we’re always growing and learning. Abundant grace as you walk this out!

{I highly recommend Beth Moore’s So Long, Insecurity! book as a starting place for understanding this struggle we all face. Full of encouragement, it’s a good read.}

photo credit

Blessings,

Daniele

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