About Christy

Christy is the mother of four boys and one girl. She has been known to homeschool, change diapers and potty train simultaneously. She's been married for 8 years to Charlie, a surfer and entrepreneur and lives on the Central Coast of California. Christy's passion is to embrace motherhood as the calling God gave her. In the midst of the hard work mothering requires, she strives for new ways to have a fun outlook on being a mother. She shares her ideas and encouragement at One Fun Mom.

Life in Bali and eBook Giveaway!

May 18, 2013 By Christy

“Selamat pagi!” the shopkeeper calls out his goodmornings as I run by.

Two dogs tear out of their family compound toward me, barking violently. I stoop mid-stride and reach my hand toward the ground. As I turn and pull my arm back to throw the dogs back off, cowed by the pretend rocks in my hand.

My nose fills with the smoky smells of incense and early morning cook fires. I pass several women laying the first offerings on the ground at their doorways.

The uniformed school children gawk at me, whispering “Bule, bule.” White lady, they say. Foreign lady running. {boo-lay}

My favorite jog takes me to the beach where I run along the cobblestoned path. I pass shops and restaurants and hotels where sleepy workers are raking the sand, travelers are just rambling into the restaurants for breakfast, and dogs still rummage through waste bins for last night’s leftovers.

Many of my mornings in Bali started this way. When I got back my husband would leave for work and my day with two young boys would begin.

While we lived in Bali I was able to write a story about those two young boys. An adventure that played itself out in all the places we had been. The story took me to my husband’s favorite surfing beach, the volcano we had traveled to, the monkey forest where the monkeys tried to take our backpacks and cameras, even the beach where we lived.

I wrote that story almost seven years ago. I never dreamed at that time that we would have ebooks and Kindles and I didn’t even know what a .pdf file was. But here we are and I am so very thrilled to be able to introduce you to The Island Brothers!

My vision for this book is to help children develop a world view that’s wider than the daily world they experience.

We loved living in another country and through the book and the companion website children will see the things we experienced.

This month my children’s story has released as an ebook and I am happy to share it with you.

Tiger Hunt!

Join the adventure as two brothers befriend the last tiger on Bali.

illustrated with a unique blend of colorful sketches and photos from our stay in Bali.
a great read aloud for all ages
encourage children to read
open children’s eyes to another culture
15 page children’s ebook for download
ebook internally linked with Wikipedia for more information on unfamiliar terms
comprehension and vocabulary printables available
see our personal videos, pictures, and explanations of Bali on the website, too.

One great thing about this book is the website I’ve been building as a companion, The Island Brothers. I’ve added first-hand information about Bali so that your children can not only read a great story, but also learn about the island.

We also have printables so you can use this book to complement homeschool cultural studies and discuss lessons taught.

I’d love to give three copies away to readers of The Better Mom.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

38 Comments | Filed Under: Giveaways, Homeschooling, Parenting

Do You Ever Feel Like A Failure?

April 14, 2013 By Christy

Lately I have.

Sometimes…

We leave the house for church and the front door is wide open. (the neighborhood dogs love us for our kitchen garbage.)
We arrive at our destination and one or more of my children have no shoes on.
I change the baby in my lap at the table in a restaurant, instead of getting up and going to the restroom.
I don’t know how to react when the emotions of my 2 year old intersect with mine. So I send her to her room when she would better benefit from being held.
The laundry is piled high on the couch and instead of folding it, I sit next to it reading after the kids go to bed.
Instead of cleaning the kitchen floor, I just wear shoes so I can’t feel the dirt and grime on my bare feet.
I forget to take the boys to their basketball game.
We could survive a natural disaster by subsisting on the Goldfish and french fries on the floor of my van.
My neatly planned chore charts and housecleaning schedules and meal plans gather dust for days {or months}, and I’m convinced my children will grow up to be aimless, shifty, wandering homeless vagrants.
The chaos of children in my car is so loud I can’t even think. I feel like the bumper sticker “honk if children fall out” was written for me.
The baby cries for hours on end and I don’t know why.
We sit down to do devotions and not one child can remember how to be quiet or listen so they can experience the love and truth of God! or I forget to do devotions altogether.
Instead of patiently interacting with my children and speaking gently I let the irritation creep into my voice and my actions.
I don’t invite friends over because my house hasn’t been cleaned in too long.
I look at myself in the mirror and wonder: Why did I choose that hairstyle? When will my “real” clothes fit again?

These are all things that make me feel like I’ve failed as a mother and as a Christian woman. I tell myself that this is normal. Nobody is as perfect as they appear online, and even my real life friends aren’t as perfect as they appear when I see them. I tell myself that having a baby is hard and having lots of children is hard and I’ve only had two months to adjust.

Do you ever feel this way? Maybe you have your own list of things that make you feel less-than?

Here is the other side of that coin. Sometimes:

I’m terribly impressed at how well my boys can vacuum and do the dishes, and how quickly they say “ok, Mom” when I ask them to do something.
In the middle of the night the baby gives sleepy smiles to me alone
One boy tells me how there are skinny moms and very large moms and moms in the middle. He likes the moms in the middle, like me.
So many things happen at once that I just have to laugh. (A deadline for getting out of the house, a dirty toddler diaper, a four year old spouting blood after hitting his head on the cement driveway, a hungry screaming baby, and three children unable to find shoes…)
I push aside that pile of laundry in favor of cuddling the toddler who just came to me with sleepy eyes and a need for Mama.
My son looks for me alone in the moment he makes a basket during his game and finds me with my arms in the air cheering just for him. And I will never forget that split second of time. Ever.
My big boys take the little ones and play “kitchen” or “legos” for hours, just because they know their little brother and sister want to spend time with them.

Even though it’s hard to remember in the day to day, I don’t think we mothers could be failures if we wanted to. We might have times where our standards are lower than others. We might have moments of comparison when we don’t think we match up. But the truth is, nobody is in our same circumstances. Nobody has the same children or husband or personality or history that you do. And nobody knows how hard you are trying to listen to God and follow His heart.

Satan wants us to dwell on the first list I wrote, and he wants us to think that all those things make us a failure – that all of those things are somehow *wrong*. The beauty of God and reality is that all of those things might mean failure to me, but they are a part of my walk with Him. He’s showing me that His ways are not our ways:

He’s the ultimate parent of my children.

He can work, even through what I think of as failure.

I won’t grasp perfection until I get to heaven.

I can try my hardest, and it’s so much less than resting in Him.

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:29

Learning Together, Christy

www.onefunmom.com

25 Comments | Filed Under: Discipling Children, Family Management, Following God, Hope, Parenting

The Prodigal Son & Motherhood

March 23, 2013 By Christy

This week during breakfast we read a new-to-me description of the prodigal son parable. {found in Luke 15:11-31}

For the first time in my life, I looked at the parable from the father’s point of view.

I watch what the father does in this parable and I am surprised.

With a broken heart and tears in his eyes, he gave an inheritance to a son who didn’t want him anymore. Then he watched his son walk away.

This is a wise father. A father who knows that when it comes down to it, he can’t control his child. He can’t make his prodigal stay. If he tried, what good would come of it? Would he ever receive genuine love from that child?

What does this parable mean for me, as a parent? What does it teach me about how God parents me?

I see that…

God is faithful. He is always willing to extend forgiveness.

He is not controlling. He leaves my life up to me.

He loves us all the same. He is willing to offer His love to both those who stray, and those who obey only because they think they have to (as well as those who love Him, but mess up sometimes!).

We have a choice, we can accept His love or reject it (out of pride – as the brother in the parable does)

I can love my children greatly and still let them go their way. Whether that’s playing a sport that I wouldn’t have chosen, or wearing an outfit that doesn’t match. Maybe it’s bigger, like letting them make the final choice for college, or even watching them pay bigger consequences if they make those choices that might involve drinking or drugs.

Its my prayer that re-reading these parables as a parent will help me to better see God’s ways with us. I hope that learning to mirror God when my children are young – extending grace and love and forgiveness, teaching them patiently and not with an exasperated spirit – will help them have a more accurate picture of God when they’re older.

And maybe, just maybe, their journeys to find themselves and make their faith their own won’t take their spirits too far from my heart.

What new truths have you seen in the Bible as your life experience has changed you?

Blessings,

Christy Halsell

6 Comments | Filed Under: Following God, Parenting

Tips For New Moms

January 27, 2013 By Christy

Having my first baby was hard. Really hard. I was completely blown away. My ideals on motherhood versus the reality of motherhood floored me.

To start things off, there was the episiotomy I didn’t even know I had received. I remember walking into rooms after having the baby and nearly bursting into tears wondering where I would sit.

Then there were the sleepless nights. I thought I was prepared for these, but really, I don’t think anything can prep a mother for this. I was tired.

Post-partum emotions had me erupting in tears when I saw my mom’s casserole in the fridge after she left.

And a whole host of other challenges accosted me at the same time.

Fast forward nine years…

I just had my fifth baby on January 4th. He is the apple of our family’s eye. We can’t get enough of him. A timer runs almost around the clock as kids switch off holding him. I’m thankful to be nursing so I can commandeer the baby when he’s hungry!!

As I look back on the kind of mother I was with my first and the kind of mother I am now, I can think of a few things I’ve learned.

1. Try not to complain about the sleep.

I was a die-hard whiner. I listed the times the baby woke up in the night for anyone who pretended to listen. I let myself dwell on the sleep I wasn’t getting and didn’t hesitate to let everyone else know too. I don’t know how I managed to have any friends at that time! Who wants to listen to how much I did or didn’t sleep?

This one commitment that I made before I had my second child has done me so much good. I don’t pretend that everything is hunky dory, but I don’t whine and complain like I did before. It’s changed my outlook on those sleepless nights completely.

{and when a night comes along that is seriously challenging, I do let my husband know I can use extra help that day – as much as possible without complaining}

2. Find someone in a similar stage in life who you CAN talk to about your daily struggles.

In 2003, when I had my first, the internet was just becoming popular and we lived up in the mountains with limited access. Now, though, many people can tap a key on their phone and be immediately in touch with 75 other mothers who had their baby on the same day. What a blessing the internet can be!

3. Don’t worry so much about “the schedule.”

This is easier said than done. Once you’ve had a baby and seen that they’re remarkably resilient it’s a lot easier to be more laid back. My husband reminded me last night that I used to be very regimented about when the baby ate…sometimes down to 3 or 5 minutes!

4. Tell your husband, or someone who can help, what is happening in your heart.

Don’t resolve to be the “everything” mom. If you need help in the night, let your husband know. If you are feeling overwhelmed about nursing or schedules or have a sick baby who literally hasn’t slept in days, ask for help. There is no reason to be a complete martyr. Sometimes a brainstorm session can do wonders.

Maybe your mom or an older woman from your church can stay over one night each week. Maybe a younger girl can come help with laundry once in a while.

5. If you have a very fussy baby and are breastfeeding, consider what you’re eating.

My second baby fussed ALL NIGHT LONG. He squirmed. He twisted. He squealed. He screeched. I asked the doctor if it could possibly be milk products. The doctor said most likely not. I eliminated dairy anyway and he got a little better.

My mom and I went out to eat one night and indulged in a seven layer chocolate cake. That night the baby cried again, ALL NIGHT LONG. I eliminated chocolate, and my nights were so much more peaceful.

I also found a delightful product called Hyland’s Colic Tablets. On those nights when he still was fitfull, I gave him a tablet or two and he slept.

I’m not suggesting that this is the case with all babies who fuss, but I am saying that it’s a potentially “easy” fix. It happened again with my fourth baby, and I decided that sacrificing dairy and chocolate were small prices to pay for a {nearly} full night’s sleep.

6. Don’t worry about your body or getting back in shape, or dieting for AT LEAST a month.

Seriously, you’ve been through a lot. Let the nursing regulate, let your body regulate. Allow yourself to indulge a bit in sweets or other things you enjoy. You have time to get yourself back together, I promise!