I Want My Children To Know

I recently had a small procedure done.  One thing led to another and I found myself thinking about all of the things I haven’t told my children.  All of the things I want them to know if there comes a time when I’m gone…

Wisdom for my children

1.  How often I mess up.

Which is a lot.  I want them to know that I’m not perfect and that they don’t need to be perfect either, but we all need to lean on Jesus.

2.  Forgive.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean trusting and it doesn’t mean putting yourself in a position to be hurt again and again.  It means letting it go…consistently.

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.  Matthew 6:14-15

3.  Value people.

Even when we don’t get them.  People come in all shapes and sizes with all kinds of thoughts.  Get to know them.  Be willing to look past yourself and don’t be afraid to ask questions.

4.  God pursues you.

Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life.  Psalm 23:6

5.  Be Active…Outside

Have you ever noticed how an afternoon spent watching movies can easily lend itself to an evening watching movies?

An object at rest will remain at rest… that’s Newton’s Law of Inertia.  I’ve found it to be true with people too.  There are, of course, times when we all need rest – but more often we need to move.  Movement heals a multitude of ills and heals the heart and mind.

6.  How Much I Think About Them

My children are often pushing for something to their benefit.  “Mom, can we go here?”  “Mom, can someone come over after practice?”  “Mom, can I have a treat?”  “Mom, when can I work on that special project?” and on and on and on…

One day after fielding countless requests I wanted to tell them:  “Do you know you are always on my mind?  That there is almost never a moment when I’m not thinking of you and how I can make things better for you?  How I can make your day more fun?  How I know I ask a lot of you and I want to make sure you are repaid for your work? ”

7.   How Much God Thinks About Them

…and if I think about them day and night,  how much more does God consider them?  If a mother almost never has her children out of her mind, how much more does God consider all of us?

So many things comes to mind when I think of what I want my children to remember.

What’s something you would tell yours?

Blessings, Christy

www.christyhalsell.com

3 Reasons You Might Be Too Busy

I hear it over and over and over. I even say it myself:  “We’re just soooo busy!”
I see our busy-ness addressed at church and in books, on blogs and Christian magazines.
I even see it addressed in non-Christian media.

why-so-busy

In fact, I see the problem stated so very often that I forget to think about the cause.

It seems like many times, teachers and pastors are showing us how to treat the symptoms while ignoring the problem

Why is everyone so busy?

Here are a few reasons to think about.

1. Everyone else is busy

We’re keeping up with the Jones’s.  We might purpose to slow down when school starts, but then we talk to our friends and their kids will be in karate, on swim team, taking piano and playing in the band.  Plus they’ll be participating in such-and-such ministry as a family and each spouse will be in the church choir…all of a sudden we wonder what we’ll be doing in those boring afternoons when the kids finish their homework.

2. The culture around us.

We live in a culture of speed.

We don’t want to wait for things.  We’re always moving.  I do work on my laptop while waiting for Facebook to load on my phone.  We want lightening fast internet and answers to text messages within 20 minutes.  If an email isn’t responded to by day’s end we wonder if we’ve done something to offend the other party.

3. We’re running.

Sometimes busy-ness can be an indication that things aren’t right.

  • Are you hurting?  Are there issues under the surface that you just don’t want to think about?
  • In the quiet hours, does your heart ache? Do you feel anger, sadness, or hopeless?
  • Do you avoid thinking about finances, your marriage, or your interactions with one of your children?

We can “try” new things all day long.  We can cut down on the kid’s activities and loosen up our schedule.  We can learn to say “no” to choices we’ve determined aren’t beneficial to our family, and we can even move to the country and start homesteading.

All , or even one, of these decisions could be the right ones to help you and your family slow down, unless the reason for your busy-ness is number three.

Friend, if you are filling your schedule with good things because it’s too hard to look at the painful things, please rethink your decision.

It’s in the quiet moments that God begins healing.

In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength. Isaiah 30:15

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone. Psalm 62:5

Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. Mark 1:35

This fall as the school year begins for so many and activities pick back up, instead of focusing so much on how busy I am, I will be thinking on why I’m busy.

I’ll be focusing on finding time with God.  I’ll try to carve time in my schedule purposefully – so I can fill it with healing and seeking His voice.  Join me?

There can be so many reasons for our busy-ness.  Can you share any others I didn’t list?

Little Dreams – a poem for mothers

Marys-TreasuresYou.

Heavy eyes.

Arms wrapped

we rock.

You.

Nuzzled rolly neck

of graham cracker smells

and stickiness.

You.

Tiny fingers lightly pinch

your brows

eyelashes

lips.

You.

Far away smile

halfway to dreams.

Baby-Boy-Smiles

I.

Drink it in with

mother’s heart.

Drop lips upon your

sun-kissed hair.

Remember other tiny heads.

More kisses for those

bigger now.

I.

Soak your sweetness in.

Wistful how

it flies.

But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. Luke 2:19

Blessings, Christy

I Am My Beloved’s

When I was young I watched someone do something I did not approve of.  I told my mother:  “I’ll never do that.”

My mom wisely responded:  “Don’t judge until you’ve been there.”

I scoffed.  I was young and full of knowledge.  In fact, I probably knew it all.

Life has taught me otherwise.  I am almost constantly reminded of that conversation and my mother’s wise words.

IMG_0630My extensive knowledge was directly challenged the moment I married and had children.

I managed to keep it together after #1.  Then #2.  When I got to my third boy I wasn’t so sure.  I wavered a bit.  Beds went unmade.  Bathrooms were not always clean.

Then I pulled myself back together.

Fourth baby.  This was a bit rougher.  I remember trying to get everyone out the door for some errands after my mom left and my husband went back to work.  I was changing the baby’s diaper, getting shoes on the toddler, and directing my “big” boys and I thought:  this is a lot of people.

I became pregnant with my fifth baby and everything went to pot.  My husband worked nights, which meant he left the house at around 4, right around the time I could no longer function.  I served a lot of cereal and mac’n’cheese over those few months.

What have I learned from having these children of mine?

  • I’m good at blaming my emotions on other people.
  • My plans are nice, but they’re not what’s going to happen most of the time.
  • Rules and schedules and routines make me feel secure, they don’t make me lean on Jesus.
  • Children bring me out of my innate selfishness and teach me oh-so-much about the love of God.

Most days I struggle with anger and frustration.  Most days I struggle with finding my identity in being a Good Mom and Getting the Laundry Folded.  I struggle with letting my children be their own people – not extensions of me.  I fight the contrast of what I thought mothering entailed with what I am now as a mother.

Things have turned out a lot differently than I planned.  My mother’s words come back to me:  don’t judge until you’ve been there.

Yes, mom, you’re so right.

I never could have guessed what having 5 children would mean.  I never could have guessed that the downturn in the economy would mean the end of a business and a job for my husband.  That years of figuring out what was next would engulf us.  I couldn’t have guessed that our marriage would suffer huge setbacks, or what those setbacks would be.

Without this marriage and these five sweet children I would have no idea:

  • how to eat while the volume in a room of seven people actually exceeds the levels at most rock concerts
  • that night-time hours rocking babies can be the sweetest hours ever known (but not always)
  • how easy it is to look at the ways I’ve failed and forget the things I’ve done right
  • what surrender means – my plans versus God’s plans
  • how to address my frustrations and anger and give them over to God
  • that my identity is in God, not my plans or my actions or my choices – not my husband or my children or anything they do.
  • and most importantly

I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine. Song of Solomon 6:3

I would have no idea what it means to lean on God as my beloved, and the acceptance I find in being His.

 

Me and Kids Mother's DayBlessings,

Christy Halsell

www.christyhalsell.com

This post is a part of our “Who We Are” Series. For all posts visit,

“Who We Are: The Stories Behind TBM Writers”

Who We Are at The Better Mom

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