About Barb Spencer

Barb loves Christ and His Word deeply and is married to Michael, her best friend for over 28 years. A pastor’s daughter and a pastor’s wife, Barb is a mom to 5 children; Aubrie Drayer, Marisa, Summer, Ian and Katerine (who they adopted from Guatemala in 2008). She also loves her role as grandma. Barb’s highest calling is her family. She has no regrets about being a stay-at-home mom and has homeschooled their children from the beginning. Though Barb has encountered many challenges, including her husband’s stage 4 battle with cancer in 2001 and raising a daughter who has cerebral palsy and is mentally handicapped, she has repeatedly found God’s grace sufficient. Barb is passionate about being a wife and mother, and helping younger moms.

Confessions of an Ex-Soap Opera Addict

May 4, 2013 By Barb Spencer

Hello, my name is Barb and I’m a former soap opera addict. (Yes, I know that sounds like I’ve just introduced myself at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.) From the time I was 10 years old until the time I was 32 I watched soap operas. My obsession began innocently enough in the late 60’s, when soaps were relatively innocuous, or so it seemed. Like the guy who shamefully sneaks out behind the garage every evening for a smoke so his wife and kids won’t find out, I had managed for years to keep my little habit hidden. Who would have thought that my two year-old daughter, Aubrie, would unwittingly blow the whistle on me. But that is precisely what happened.

I’d fallen asleep on the couch while watching one of my “forbidden shows” and as I dozed, Aubrie accidentally hit the record button on our VCR deck (for those of you under 35 this was kind of like a DVD player) recording “All My Children” over one of our home movies. When I awoke and discovered this I almost panicked. Not only was our home movie ruined, but my “DNA” was now all over the crime scene. I was busted and had no choice but to come clean, which proved to be one of the best things for my spiritual growth.

Let’s be honest, there isn’t anything redeemable about soap operas. But at ten years old I could never have imagined how the infidelity, deception and envy packed into those episodes would affect my mind and erode my values over time. But it did. As time went on, I became more and more desensitized to the characters on those shows cheating on each other, lying and gossiping. These themes became “normal” and on some level, acceptable to me. Sure, I knew these things were wrong, but it really didn’t bother me much. It was even entertaining.

While I was terribly embarrassed when my hands were caught in the soap opera “cookie jar”, I was at the same time both relieved and grateful. I was no longer a closet watcher. Now my husband knew and I had to deal with my sin. And yes, I have to call it what it was—sin. I knew this wasn’t pleasing to God, but had deceived myself into thinking it was no big deal.

But it was. God cares deeply about what we feed our minds which is why Paul admonishes believers in Philippians 4:8, saying, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

Not only were my actions offensive to God, they were harmful to me and dishonoring to my husband and our marriage. I’m sure this sounds crazy to some, but soaps (along with so much of what is on TV today) are really a kind of “pornography” for women: they take women to places in their minds that they should not go. Whereas men are seduced by visual images, women are seduced by warm words and romantic fantasies. It’s not only men who need to guard their thoughts; women have a responsibility to do this as well.

I challenge you to do some honest-to-goodness soul searching. Is there something you’re inviting into your life or home? Perhaps some secret sin you’re hiding of which you’d be ashamed for others to know about? Is there something you’ve become desensitized to that has no place in a believer’s life?

Augustine wrote: “God is always trying to give good things to us, but our hands are too full to receive them.” Don’t be afraid to confess and repent; God has something much better waiting for you.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2

Blessings,

Barb

Photo Credit:http://i2.cdn.turner.com/dr/hln/www/release/sites/default/files/imagecache/textarticle_640/2012/06/12/luke-laura.jpg

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3 Comments | Filed Under: Following God, Hope, Parenting Tagged With: Accountability, forgiveness, True freedom

A Cause for Celebration

April 6, 2013 By Barb Spencer

We woke up to what had to have been a doozy of a storm the night before. Tree branches and sticks were strewn all over the yard. I made an announcement to the kids before we started school that we were going out later to pick up the debris. Ian, our then four-year old son, decided he would take on that mission on his own since he didn’t have the encumbrance of school. My little man dutifully put on his boots and tromped out the door to take care of the task at hand.

About a half an hour later, Ian came through the door as proud as a peacock, and asked me to look at his handiwork. I looked out the door, and there, on the front porch, he’d gathered several limbs, some of them being rather large. It was hard to imagine how he’d had the strength to transport them all the way there. I had to wonder what he was thinking setting them on the front porch instead of in the back yard on the burn pile.

I was tempted to ask Ian why in the world he’d dragged those branches where he had, causing extra work for the rest of us, but then I realized he was incredibly proud of himself and of how helpful he’d been. I knew that being as small as he was, he was feeling a great sense of accomplishment. And though eventually we would have to move those branches to the backyard without making him feel badly about it, he had done what I’d asked and he’d worked very hard doing it. So we all praised Ian for being so strong and doing such an awesome job. We talked about it throughout the day as a family. We marveled aloud at his manly determination.

Recalling this incident reminds me of how I often feel inadequate and burdened by my inability to lead a holy and God-honoring life. I want to have a strong resolve to walk in obedience, but I feel dogged at times by my many failures and defeated by the fact that I am nowhere near what He intends for me to be.

But when I think of this story of Ian and the branches, I smile, because like Ian, my accomplishments–though often very small–are nonetheless impressive, given the measure of my own depravity. And I take comfort in knowing that the growth in my life is evidence of God’s promise in Philippians 1:6, “I am sure of this, that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Satan often kicks us when we’re down and tortures us with thoughts of failure and despair, telling us that even our good deeds are just too few and that our accomplishments are not that impressive. Yet, this isn’t the way God views our attempts to please Him and walk in holiness. He knows better than anyone our frailties and sinful condition. Before coming to Him we were spiritually dead. So, even the smallest act of obedience on our part is cause for celebration.

God is our Father in the truest sense of the word. And just as we delight in the attempts of our children to please us, God even more delights in our efforts to walk in obedience to Him. The fact that we desire at all to follow His commands is truly a mark of His saving grace in our lives.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting we adopt a “no big deal” attitude toward sin. Cheap grace is an affront to God to be sure, but so is a failure to recognize the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives. So the next time you drag a few oversized branches to the porch, know that your Heavenly Father is smiling and rejoicing over you.

“But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead, I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God’s heavenly call in Christ. “ ~Philippians 3:13,14

Blessings as you walk in obedience,

~Barb

4 Comments | Filed Under: Following God, Hope Tagged With: Expectations, holiness, obedience, patience, prayer

Breaking Free

March 2, 2013 By Barb Spencer

The Count of Monte Cristo is one of my favorite movies. The story centers around a young French merchant sailor, Edmond Dantes, who is about to marry the love his life, the beautiful Mercedes. The night before their wedding, he is falsely accused of attempting to pass a treasonous note to Napoleon Bonaparte. Dantes is arrested and whisked away to the French dungeon, Chateau d’If, where he languishes fourteen years as his belief in God slowly withers, leaving him with bitterness and consumed with thoughts of exacting revenge on all who took part in his demise. During his imprisonment, he meets a fellow prisoner, “Priest”, a frail, but wise old man who teaches Dantes to read, write and defend himself with a sword. After years of the two prisoners secretly tunneling their way to freedom, the dirt walls cave in on Priest. In his dying moments, Priest gives Dantes a treasure map where he will find immeasurable wealth, warning him to use the treasure for good when he finds it.

I won’t give all the details (and ruin the movie for those of you who’ve not had the pleasure of seeing it), but suffice it to say the author paints a rather poignant picture of the all-consuming, cancerous effects of bitterness in one’s life.

Perhaps you are struggling with bitterness. Maybe life hasn’t gone as you’d hoped. Maybe you are still working through the agony of a painful childhood. Maybe your spouse has failed you, or a friend has betrayed you. Life is filled with pain and most of us will be presented with plenty of opportunity to hold a grudge or nurse a “root of bitterness”.

Whether your bitter feelings are justified or not isn’t the point. The real question is, “Does God allow for bitterness?” Scripture tells us in Matthew 6:15 that God will forgive our sins in the way we forgive others. God wants us to understand that though our sin is utterly reprehensible to Him, He has extended us full forgiveness through the blood of Jesus, His perfect, sinless Son.

Jesus illustrates this in the parable of the unforgiving servant found in Matthew 18:21-35. Though the master forgives his servant an insurmountable debt, the newly-forgiven servant goes out and demands full payment from a fellow servant of an insignificant debt. When we are unforgiving toward someone who’s wronged us, we are just as guilty as the unforgiving servant.

If you truly want to be free of bitterness, you must forgive—even if your forgiveness is never sought.

In the Count of Monte Cristo, Priest offered this wisdom to Dantes: “Do not commit the crime for which you now serve the sentence.” (Oops, I just gave away part of the ending!) Priest’s point is clear. We have a choice to make when we are wronged. We can choose the burden of bitterness or the freedom forgiveness provides. It was not until Dantes let go of his anger and bitterness—though his feelings were justified by the world’s standards—that he found the freedom he so desperately needed.

And so it is with us. It is only as we let go of bitterness and forgive that we are truly free. No one can imprison us unless we allow them to.

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” John 8:6

Blessings,

Barb

Photo Credit: http://www.andrewcusack.com/net/wp-content/uploads/frew14.jpg

5 Comments | Filed Under: Following God, Hope Tagged With: bitterness, forgiveness

Child’s Play – A Story from the Closet

February 2, 2013 By Barb Spencer

Muffled sounds could be heard from one of our bedrooms as my husband reached the top of the stairs. The serious tone of our little girls’ voices grabbed his attention so he stood just outside their bedroom door, listening intently. Although he couldn’t see them, their words painted a clear picture. They had gathered all of their baby dolls into their closet and were “hiding them from the Nazis”. This warmed my husband’s heart and he smiled as he remembered our reading to them selected passages from Corrie Ten Boom’s, book, The Hiding Place.

For those of you unfamiliar with the story, The Hiding Place is the true life account of the ten Boom family’s life in Holland during World War II. The gentle ten Boom family risked everything to harbor Jews in their home during the Nazi occupation of the Netherlands. Their home was eventually raided by the Gestapo and they were caught and sent to concentration camps where all of them, except Corrie, died. The Jews they harbored in a secret hidden room, however, managed to escape.

This story of our girls in their closet hiding their “Jewish” baby dolls is one of our favorites and as we look back now we can see how their hearts for Christ, the downtrodden and the marginalized were being formed in those early years, even in their play.

Admittedly, we should be wise about what stories, or what details of those stories, we tell our children. We do not want to scare them or traumatize them. But at the same time, it is important that we give them real heroes who have sacrificed greatly for their faith if we hope to raise children whose character will graduate beyond the superficial, sensate culture we have become. Remember, God’s Word is filled with real life harrowing accounts of men and women who have given all for the sake of the Gospel.

As our world grows increasingly cold and hostile to Christ, we owe it to our children and to God, to train them to love Him with all of their hearts, regardless of the cost. I don’t claim to know the future, but I believe difficult days are ahead for those who love Christ. Paul warned Timothy of the inevitable struggle that waits for followers of Christ:

“In fact, all those who want to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted. Evil people and impostors will become worse, deceiving and being deceived. But as for you, continue in what you have learned and firmly believed. You know those who taught you, and you know that from childhood you have known the sacred Scriptures, which are able to give you wisdom for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.” II Timothy 3:12-16

Moms, if we don’t provide heroes for our children, the world will. Read books like The Hiding Place to your children. Read them the biblical accounts of men and women whose love for Christ compelled them to put their own lives at risk. Teach them by your own example that sacrifice for Christ is not merely something to be talked about; it is something to be lived. By doing these things you will rescue them from the emptiness of shallow and selfish living that is robbing an entire generation of the joy of living for and loving Christ. This is the only life that matters.

Blessings,

Barb

“Christians given to formality only seem to respect losing everything for Christ if those who have done so are safely dead, preferably for centuries.” – Joseph Foreman

Photo Credit: http://www1.yadvashem.org/yv/en/exhibitions/spots_of_light/img/partisans/waterman/02.jpg