About Brooke McGlothlin

Brooke is a mom of two young boys who leave her desperate for God's grace. Her pursuit of being a better mom has left her at the foot of the cross, knowing that if God doesn't show up ... nothing happens. This dependence upon God to turn hearts of stone to hearts of flesh leads her to her knees in prayer. She's the author of the best-selling eBook Warrior Prayers: Praying the Word for Boys in the Areas They Need it Most, creator of the 21 Days of Prayer for Sons challenge and co-founder of the well-loved online community for mothers of boys, the M.O.B. Society. She offers hope for change to the hearts of women at her main blog, Surprised By Life.

Tips for Getting (and Staying) in the Motherhood Game (and a FREE printable!)

March 12, 2013 By Brooke McGlothlin

Last weekend the temperatures in Southwestern Virginia soared to the high 60s and low 70s, and from the gleam in their eyes, and the wind in my hair as my boys flew by me to get outside, bats in hand and balls already flying, I knew . . .

Spring is coming. And with it comes baseball season at the McGlothlin Home for Boys.

My husband is already drooling over the Yankee’s spring training, wondering whether or not Jeter will be as fantastic as he always has been, or if last season’s broken ankle will put him on the road to retirement. I caught the three of them today, my husband and two little boys, snuggling on the couch chanting, “Jeter! Jeter!” as their long time hero came up to bat.

This kind of behavior normally doesn’t phase me, since the beginning of baseball season is something akin to Christmas day in our house, but they had been instructed to head to their rooms for quiet time. Instead, I found them pumping fists in the air and clapping hands with their daddy as Jeter stepped toward the plate.

I gave my husband the infamous, “what in the world are you doing” look that all wives have, hoping to indicate that screaming, “Jeter!” cannot be equated with the words, “quiet time.” His reply?

“It’s baseball. I’m getting them ready for the game.”

Honestly, I’ve been thinking a lot about my own game lately—my motherhood game that is— and looking for ways to get in it with my whole heart. More specifically, I want to be able to stay in the game when it’s neck-n-neck, or even when it seems that despite my best efforts, mom’s getting ready for a big loss.

Never Giving Up

There’s a tiny little paragraph in Hope for the Weary Mom: Where God Meets You in Your Mess that says this:

“I believe God’s plans for me are good. Therefore, I commit today that I will never give up on my family, and I will never give up on God’s ability to move in their hearts. With His help, I will take the next step of faith even when I feel I can’t, because He is the God of miracles.”

We call it the Weary Mom Manifesto, and this simple proclamation has made a deep impact on the hearts of moms. Why? Because deep in our hearts, we all want to stay in the game and finish well. We want to stay the course, and be the mom our kids need.

It’s the very nature of God Himself to stay. In the Jesus Storybook Bible, God’s love for us is described as a “Never Stopping, Never Giving up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love.” Jesus modeled that kind of love for us when He came to earth as a man, and when He gave His life for ours. And His never giving up love encourages us to offer it to the people we love most.

But sometimes the game is hard—sweaty, dirty, physically and emotionally taxing—and we want to give up and walk away. I’ve found the following six tips help me take a step back toward my family when my instincts tell me to count my losses and get out.

Six Tips for Getting (& Staying) in the Motherhood Game

1. Pray

Keep the lines of communication open with the One Who has the power to change things. (Pssssst…if you’re a boy mom, download this free Prayer printable I created just for you).

2. Keep your heart connected to the hope giver

Don’t walk too far away, or go too many days without getting in God’s Word and letting it be your guide. Take the Psalmist’s advice and hide God’s Word in your heart (Psalm 119:11), allowing it to transform you, and give you peace. As my co-author Stacey Thacker says, hope is a person—Jesus—and He speaks to us through His Word.

3. Tell the truth about what’s happening in your home

I labored long under the delusion that I needed everyone’s perception of me to be perfect. The truth is, when I moved the curtain aside and let the sun shine on the truth of our home, I found out I wasn’t alone. A secret only has power over you when it’s a secret.

4. Ask for help

When your days are long filled with strife and you don’t know how to take a step out, ask for help. Go to a trusted friend and tell the truth. Ask for help until you get it.

5. Train your heart to run to God in the hard times

Right in the middle of your hard time, in that very moment, stop and ask God to prove Himself to you and give you peace that goes beyond your ability to understand. I make it a habit to bow my head and close my eyes right in the middle of my kids fussing and ask God to come right away to help me rise above. My boys know now that I’m praying, and it not only helps connect me with my Source, it paints a picture for them that mama needs Jesus just as much as they do.

5. Remember that life is about more than this moment

I’m a big fan of Paul David Tripp and pretty much everything written by the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation. One my favorite quotes from Tripp is this:

“Will you live today like grace has connected your life to something vastly bigger than the hopes and dreams of this little moment?”

This too shall pass, mama. Your hard day isn’t the end of the world. Your big loss doesn’t mean victory isn’t coming. And with God’s help you can overcome. Hold your head up, dig in your heels, and go get in the game. I’m cheering you on!

What tips would you add to help us all get and stay in the motherhood game?

Download a FREE printable of Tips for Staying in the Motherhood Game! (Seriously, it’s so beautiful!)

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Brooke McGlothlin is co-author of Hope for the Weary Mom: Where God Meets You in Your Mess, and helps boy moms feel normal at The MOB Society (FOR moms of boys, BY moms of boys).

3 Comments | Filed Under: Boys, Hope, Parenting, Prayer

He Prays for You {did you know mom?}

February 19, 2013 By Brooke McGlothlin

I made a commitment of faith when I was just nine years old. Wide-eyed and trembling in the cold baptismal, I nodded my head in agreement as the pastor of my small Baptist church asked me if I had decided to give my heart to Jesus. And after it was over, my mama and a group of sweet church ladies whisked me away to a Sunday School room to dry me off, get me warm, and make me presentable. I sat in the pew for the rest of the sermon with wet hair and a warm heart, because I knew I’d just done something very important . . . something that would shape the course of the rest of my life.

The truth is, I don’t remember even one single day where I wasn’t at least aware of God on some level. From the tender age of nine on (and maybe even before), I’ve known God had a plan for my life, believed He was good, and sensed Him watching over me. But in spite of those things—baptism, belief, knowing—I didn’t walk closely with Him until I was almost 21 years old.

A dirty cup

For twelve years I wore the title of Christian well, but if you’d looked inside my heart you wouldn’t have seen much to prove it. I like to call myself a Pharisee, because truly that’s what I was. Jesus describes this state of the heart when He’s talking to the religious leaders of His time in Matthew 23:25 (ESV):

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence.”

It’s painful to think about, but plain to see that this verse described the way I was living—trying to make my own way while keeping God at arm’s length. Knowing that His rules and regulations were meant to protect me, but choosing to believe my feelings—what I could see, taste, touch, and hear—rather than the truth of His Word.

It was a recipe for disaster, and one that left me completely vulnerable before the God I had surrendered to as a young girl, and needed to surrender to again.

But as it turns out, my self-built disaster was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I sat on my bed in my college apartment surrounded by reminders of my own attempts to build a kingdom that glorified Brooke, and wondered how I would find my way back. Ironically (or maybe not so much), I had decided to take a New Testament class that semester, and I remembered that I needed to do some reading in the book of John for homework. I picked up my class Bible, turned to John chapter 17, and began to read about the final hours of Jesus’ life here on earth.

In verses nine through sixteen, Jesus prayed for His disciples. He knew the struggles they would go through after His death and resurrection, and as His own life hung in the balance, He took the time to cover them in prayer, asking His Father to protect them and lead them well. But verse twenty is different. Look at it closely with me . . .

“I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word . . . ”

Friend, do you realize who Jesus is talking about in that verse? It’s you. It’s me. It’s every single person who has ever believed based on the testimony of the disciples about the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. Directly or indirectly, that’s pretty much every single believer that has ever lived. And Jesus took the time to pray for us before He died.

Feeling lost? Remember that Jesus prayed for you. On the eve of His horrible death, He stopped and prayed for you.

As I read those words, and the true meaning of them became clear, I felt a new feeling wash over me that drowned out the feelings of despair and hopelessness I had experienced just a few moments before.

Jesus prayed for me.

Me. Within a few hours of that prayer He faced one of the most gruesome deaths ever recorded—a death meant for me, a sacrifice meant to be the punishment for my sins—and instead of worrying about Himself He prayed for me.

And isn’t that the real meaning of the cross? That God’s love for us was so great, His devotion to us so sincere, that He would send His one and only Son to die on the cross and take the punishment for our sins? He’s all about love—a love so great that it’s concerned with the object of its desire (you and me) even in the face of great pain and trial, humiliation, wrongful accusation, and death.

Today, let that kind of love wash over you like it did for me that day in my apartment, now over fifteen years ago. In your darkest days, the ones where you’re tempted to despair and wonder if God truly hears you, truly sees you, remember that He prayed for you, and according to scripture, still does (Hebrews 7:25).

Action Point: I thought it might be fun to share all the way God has extravagantly loved us today. Do you have a story about how God met you in your mess? A story that shows the depth of His love for you? Tell us about it in the comments!

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Brooke McGlothlin is Co-founder of Raising Boys Media, best known for its flagship blog, The MOB Society (FOR moms of boys, BY moms of boys). She’s the author of Warrior Prayers: Praying the Word for Boys in the Areas They Need it Most, and Hope for the Weary Mom: Where God Meets You in Your Mess.

14 Comments | Filed Under: Hope

when she’s had an abortion {how to make her feel safe}

January 30, 2013 By Brooke McGlothlin

Last week, all across our Nation, people celebrated Sanctity of Human Life Week culminating on Sanctity of Human Life Sunday. Many of you heard sermons on Psalm 139. You learned how God lovingly knit you together in your mother’s womb, how He has a plan for your life—a GOOD plan.

But you didn’t see the woman sitting next to you who was grieving her abortion that day.

You didn’t see her because you don’t know about her past—she doesn’t talk about it.

Why?

Because she doesn’t know how you’ll react. She doesn’t know if she can trust you. She doesn’t know if you’re safe.

The latest statistics show that as many as four in ten women have experienced one or more abortions. The next time you’re in a large group of women look around and let that statistic wash over you. Our churches, women’s organizations, PTA’s, salons and spas, and gyms are FULL of women who are hurting from an abortion, suffering in silence because they’re afraid if they tell you, you won’t understand.

Do we understand?

There was a time when I really didn’t. I said things like, “I don’t get how a woman could ever have an abortion.” Or, “It’s a child, not a choice.” What I didn’t understand was that in all our efforts as a society to make sure women have a choice, what we’ve done is make them feel they don’t have another choice. Most women faced with an unplanned pregnancy don’t want to have an abortion. They just don’t feel there’s another option.

A woman’s choice to have an abortion affects every part of her being, but the good news is that the choice to abort is not outside of God’s ability to forgive and heal.The bad news is that many times our “christianese” makes the woman sitting next to us in the pew who’s had two feel we’re unworthy of her trust.

If these precious women don’t trust us, how can we help them heal?

Here are a few ways you can help her feel safe.

1. Lay down stereotypes

Go through the counselor training at your local crisis pregnancy center and learn more about who she really is. You might be surprised to know that the stereotypes don’t always fit. Your child’s PTA President is just as likely to have chosen abortion as the mom on welfare in the inner city.

2. Don’t use loaded words.

Murder is a word that gets thrown around all too often when we talk about abortion. And while it might be true, saying it in mixed company might be all the post-abortive woman in your group needs to hear to know you’re not safe. Always look at the crowd you’re in and think, “she could be here. How can I help her know I care?”

3. Get rid of black and white thinking.

I freely admit that I’m a black and white thinker by nature. I have to work hard to see the grey in the world. But after working with women in unplanned pregnancy for over 15 years of my life now, I can truly say that I DO understand why a woman would choose abortion. I’m not saying I think it’s the right or even the best choice for her, but I get it. I’ve heard stories that would curl your toes. I’ve counseled women who would’ve been murdered for being pregnant outside of marriage, others who arrived at our doorstep black and blue—a friendly reminder from the father of the baby about what her choice had better be. Until you hear her story, you simply can’t know why she made the decision she did. Be open, and welcome her story.

4. Love.

Remember that left to yourself, apart from the work of God in your life, you could just as easily be the one with a story of abortion to tell. If you caught yourself saying, “I would NEVER have an abortion” as you read that last sentence, consider spending some time reflecting on the nature and definition of sin. The sin of abortion is no worse than the sin of gossip in the eyes of God. And the truth of the matter is that you can’t possibly know what you might’ve chosen if you were walking in her shoes.

So many women in our world today need to know freedom and forgiveness from their choice to abort. And there’s no better place for them to come find it than in the body of Christ.

Brooke McGlothlin is the co-author of Hope for the Weary Mom: Where God Meets You in Your Mess, and helps boy moms navigate the testosterone-filled life at the MOB Society.

20 Comments | Filed Under: Abortion

4 Ways to Mother on Purpose in 2013

January 22, 2013 By Brooke McGlothlin

To have the kind of family life I dream of, I’m going to have to mother on purpose.

I remember the first time that thought occurred to me . . . I was about seven months pregnant with boy number two, and leading a study of Shepherding a Child’s Heart, by Tedd Tripp at my local church. I had finished up my homework for the night and the house was quiet—though my heart was beating with anxiety and fear.

The moment was raw with emotion, a little mom guilt, and the realization that if I truly wanted to raise my boys to love the Lord, it was going to require more time and effort than I was currently giving it. Speaking truth and love—being a shepherd over the hearts of my boys—would require planning, prayer, and a deeper dependence on God than I had previously known.

Mothering on Purpose

My poor, pregnant self sat almost paralyzed as the truth dawned on me: my current level of mothering commitment wasn’t enough. I wasn’t mothering on purpose. On the contrary, I was mothering by the seat of my pants—just surviving—and only barely surviving at that.

No good.

Unfortunately, our best intentions can get worn out over time. As my family prepared to move into 2013 I realized that it had happened again. Maybe not as bad as it was before, but there was certainly a lot more “winging it”, and a lost less “on purpose” than I’m happy with.

So how does a mom mother on purpose? Here are four purposeful motherhood goals I’m working toward as I take the first few steps into 2013:

1. Model the servant life.

If I want to teach my boys to care about something other than themselves, I have to give them opportunities to serve. Admittedly (and shamefully) this hasn’t been high on my priority list for the last year. All of my spare time has been spent writing—a worthy way to serve others. But as I wrap up the last of several big commitments I sense the Lord telling me that serving the people in my community, and looking for ways my boys can be involved as I do, needs to be a higher priority for 2013.

2. Lead them in prayer.

In November, I felt led to lead my boys in 30 days of prayer for the people of the DRC. We’ve been done with that for a few months now, and this morning my youngest asked me why we stopped. I’m admittedly pretty great at praying for them, but I often forget to pray with them as we go throughout our daily lives. I want to do a better job of helping them see what amazing access to God they have at all times, and help them experience His love for them on an even deeper level. Which leads me to goal number three . . .

3. Show them the beauty of Christ.

I don’t think I do a good job of showing my boys how beautiful our Jesus is. And honestly, as a mother of two boys who love all things rowdy, fast, and wild—I’m not sure how sure how to convey the concept of beauty to them without feminizing it to the point that their male hearts and minds don’t even get it—or worse—dismiss it entirely.

4. Create a family purpose statement.

I can’t take full credit for this idea. Although it’s been in the back of my mind for years, it wasn’t until I heard our own Tricia Goyer talk about creating a family purpose statement at the Allume Social Media Conference that it really clicked. I want to come up with three simple purpose statements—sentences that describe who our family is and what’s important to us—and lead my boys in living up to them, using them as a guide for every decision we make, every action we take, and for many deep conversations about what’s truly important in this life.

Starting Small

My goals for 2013 aren’t earth-shattering, but they might just be life-changing for two little boys I know. I’m starting small with things that have been on my heart for years, but have been relegated to the back burner for unimportant reasons, and I suggest you approach it the same way. Are there family goals you’ve been laying aside for too long that could be picked up and incorporated into your every day life? Just pick one to start with, and focus on it as long as it takes to be successful. Then, as you can, add in another goal, and another, asking the Lord to cover your shortcomings, and grow your children into the men and women He wants them to be . . . in spite of you.