When Mom Struggles With Unforgiveness

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I remember growing up and watching the tumultuous relationship my mom had with my grandmother. It was the type of thing that would have my head in a tail spin - watching two women whom I loved and both loved me dearly - treat one another so poorly. When I was young, I had no idea what the problem was. But by the time I turned 8 or so, I had figured out where all that ugly was coming from: unforgiveness. I was certain at a very young age that I didn't want to have that type of relationship - or rather lack thereof - with my children.

Unforgiveness could quite possibly be the bane of motherhood if not addressed and taken care of God's way. I can tell you this quite simply from watching my own mother and grandmother and countless friends and their moms as the ugly root of unforgiveness stripped away what little hope was left for their relationships. I can also tell you this by what I've experienced as a mother over the past 14 years. Unforgiveness can cause all types of horrible things in one's life - from sickness to sinful behavior - unforgiveness gives the enemy a chance to use our life and relationship for evil.

But there is hope.

This is what God has to say about forgiving one another in His word:

Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven: (Luke 6:37 KJV)

I know that regardless of what I watched growing up, one thing's for sure: I want to walk in God's forgiveness. And I don't just want to so that I can be forgiven, but I want to so that I can model forgiveness to my children and those God has me to interact with on a daily basis. I want to show others the hope of salvation through Christ. But just because I want to walk in forgiveness, doesn't mean that it is going to be easy. I've had to make a plan to do so and I want to share with you three things that help me achieve this in my life.

  1. Being honest about how you feel. This right here can stop the root of unforgiveness right in its tracks. Of course we must do our very best to communicate how we feel in love, but I have been able to forgive quickly when I tell the person who offended me how I feel so we can talk about it and work it out before any hint of unforgiveness sets in.
  2. Praying with the person who offended you. If at all possible, pray with the person who offends you. For me, most of the time, it is my children or my husband. I am very blessed to have the ability to take my concerns before the Lord with my family. I know that some of you do not have the same type of situation, but I encourage you to pray with another believer about the situation.
  3. Choosing and memorizing a scripture about forgiving others. This right here has been one of the biggest joys in my Christian walk. I have a passion for memorizing God's word and hiding it in my heart. If you need help with this area, I am hosting a 52-week Scripture memorization challenge that can help. In order for us to be more Christ-like, it is imperative that we know His word!

I know that as mothers it can be really challenging to always walk in forgiveness. But I believe that it can be done if we commit our hearts to change in this area of our lives. Make a choice today, sweet friend, to walk in the freedom Christ has given us through His sacrifice! I promise you, you won't look back.

I'm rooting for you!

xoxo, Carlie K.
managingyourblessings.com
todaysfrugalmom.com


Finding our Life in the Magnificent Maker of the Stars

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The humidity hung on my shirt, sticky and dense. I felt heavy trying to take in a breath as my cab whizzed through Queens and into Manhattan, taking me home after a summer spent in my heart's home: the beautiful mountains of the Pacific Northwest, full of glacier lakes and lush beauty. Back in the city, all I could see was grime. Trash piled high on sidewalks, crumbling concrete, dull paint. I closed my eyes and cringed as my children called out that they spotted the Chrystler Building, now The Empire State's tip, and the Freedom Tower beyond. What were were doing here? Why were we forsaking beauty and nature and wide open spaces? Even as they celebrated the familiar scene of a city that was home for them, all I could see was grey and bleak.

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When You Mother The Broken

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he day we pulled up into our driveway with them -- into the home that had been full of empty bedrooms for years while we waited for them -- we sat with the keys in the ignition while they, buckled into boosters in the back, slept off days of sleepless travel and we sighed.

Done.

We’d finished the hardest part, hadn't we? They were … home.

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Don't Say Something Permanently Painful, Just Because You're Temporarily Ticked Off!

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In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:26–27

I wrestled with several plastic grocery bags as my purse swung wildly from my shoulder. I was trying desperately to free up a hand to open the back door that leads from our garage into the kitchen. Tired from a long day of errands and appointments, I just wanted to get into the house, put the groceries away, and then collapse on the couch.

As I fumbled with my keys and stepped up onto the landing that leads into the kitchen, I nearly tripped and broke my neck. I also broke out into a horrible rant as I saw the reason for my near trip and fall.

“Kenna! Mitchell! Spencer! You kids get out here right now and take care of these shoes and boots. I am sick and tired of how you all just toss your shoes here with absolutely no regard for what I’ve told you. You know your shoes go on the rug. I don’t want to ever see this junk lying here again. You hear me? You are all so lazy! Now I said get out here … right now!”

My kids heard me all right. So did half the neighborhood.

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How to Avoid a Wasted Life

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How to Avoid a Wasted Life

I’ve always loved this quote my pastor often refers back to,
“Seek not to avoid a wounded life, but rather seek to avoid a wasted one.”

And, it’s been present in my thoughts even more so lately as we finish up the first month of this new year, and life attempts to drag us back into old patterns and habits. The newness has started to wear off, and it’s easy to let that fresh hope slip through our fingers. The purposes we may have set out to achieve can easily begin to appear blurry.

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A New Year's Resolution

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Every year, (I mean every year), I say,  ‘This year I will not make New Year’s Resolutions.”

(Which end up being false promises and short-sighted solutions to issues greater than this plan I am concocting can fix.)

And yet, I can’t resist. I tell friends and family and radio audiences and social media networks about dreams I have to read more, eat less, rest regularly, learn new skills. I can’t help it. The idea of being re-made into a better version of myself calls me every time.

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