Just when I think my life has balance and my children are actually turning out somewhat decent, I blink and we are in a more challenging season.When my oldest is finally becoming more independent, his mouth is also figuring out new ways to announce his independence. And I find myself staring down at a five-year-old that thinks he can run the world. While he is running the world I find myself trapped in the middle of a food flying contest. Rice and beans become my new wall decor. My two little ones have discovered the joy of having a partner in crime.
I’ve yelled! I’ve cried. I’ve pulled my hair. And they carry on while finding great pleasure in watching a grown woman trying to pull the hair out of her own head. The partners in crime mimick my hair pulling stress relief tactic, except they’ve added a thin layer of beans to their method.
The moment I realize that I am living in what feels like a mad house, I am overwhelmed with frustration and guilt. I feel like all I do is spin in circles, and step on legos, and wear mismatching socks.
Somehow, in the midst of the hair pulling and bean throwing, I realize that God has not been my source for a balanced home.
What does balance look like God? Does it even exist when children are involved? I carry on a conversation with God while I stir a pot of hot oatmeal. I feel hopeless. Like I’ve lost all control. I’ve forgotten to train my kids to fall in love with Jesus, but instead, I’m teaching them to fall in love with a clean house. Fall in love with rules. Fall in love with my idea of balance.
Who cares?! I begin to give myself a pep talk about what really matters. What God cares about is the heart of my children. They are more important than matching socks and folded laundry.
Sometimes I forget that teaching my children to love God and his word is the most important thing in my day. So I ask God to help me remember what is more important. When my children are grown, will I care about how clean my house was while they were little? Or will I care about how they love God because I took the time to teach them while they were young. I stop what I’m doing. I listen. I slow down. They will always be the most important thing. If my house looks like a mess, or I’m late to appointments, and balance isn’t looking so balanced, It’s probably because I’m taking the time to teach my children the most important thing in life. To love their Creator.
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. —Proverbs 22:6
Blessings, Natalie Falls
This post is part of our series Finding Balance as a Busy Mom.
Please check the series page for all of the posts!