The biggest difference between you and me is this: you’re likely in the building years of motherhood and I’m through them and out the other side (mostly) unscathed.
Let me give you something to hold onto in these trying years sweet mama.
Hear me and know it will get better, you’re okay and no matter what you tell yourself, you’re doing a great job! How do I know? I’ve been where you are. I’ve walked through seasons convinced it would never change, convinced I was the worst mother on the planet and convinced I was ruining my child’s life.
I know how trying motherhood is. I’ve lived through the drudgery of the thousand and one daily tasks, the bone crushing weariness at the end of the day, the ‘am I doing enough’ and ‘am I totally messing my child up’ questions and struggles. I always say, motherhood will tax you to the moon and back often in one day and sometimes in one moment!
I too have experienced the threat of depression subtly seeping in at the edges of your thoughts and hiding it’s ugly lie deep in your spirit, so deep you can’t find where it ends. I’ve known days where I wanted to pull the covers up over my head and ignore everything and everyone. And I’ve known the desperate search for sleep that won’t come because the heartache and sorrow are simply too much.
I know what it’s like to defer your own dream, to lay aside your deepest desires, to give and give and give till the memory of your dream fades and becomes nothing more than a shadowy mist. To lay down the thing you deeply valued in order to take up what He says is valuable. Because being a mama is one of the most important jobs in the world.
I raised but one child so I can’t relate to all your struggle. My laundry pile was likely smaller than yours and I only had one schedule to memorize. I probably had a little more free time in my days and more resources to help my daughter define her dream. But here’s a truth you can take to the bank:
Mothering well is not about quantity but it’s all about quality. Good mothers are good whether they have one child or ten.
Mama, let me encourage your hearts with these truths.
- You can do this.
- You’re doing much better than you think.
- You are perfect for the job.
- Some days will be hard.
- Your capacity for joy and sorrow will expand.
- God is with you every second of every day.
- God custom chose you for your children.
- God custom chose your children for you.
- You are changing the world, one child at a time.
- You’re not alone. Not for one second.
Raising children or even just one child is the best self-improvement course out there. Because your little ones, like tiny mirrors, will reflect all they see. Sometimes you’ll be happy with what they reflect and other days not so much. You’re not perfect and that’s okay. Neither are your kids! But they are perfectly loved and you are doing a perfectly good job. I just know it.
How can I pray for you? It would be my honor.