Ten Truths About Motherhood You Can Take to the Bank

Mother holding newborn baby girl

The biggest difference between you and me is this: you’re likely in the building years of motherhood and I’m through them and out the other side (mostly) unscathed.

Let me give you something to hold onto in these trying years sweet mama.

Hope.

Hear me and know it will get better, you’re okay and no matter what you tell yourself, you’re doing a great job! How do I know? I’ve been where you are. I’ve walked through  seasons convinced it would never change, convinced I was the worst mother on the planet and convinced I was ruining my child’s life.

I know how trying motherhood is. I’ve lived through the drudgery of the thousand and one daily tasks, the bone crushing weariness at the end of the day, the ‘am I doing enough’ and ‘am I totally messing my child up’ questions and struggles. I always say, motherhood will tax you to the moon and back often in one day and sometimes in one moment!

I too have experienced the threat of depression subtly seeping in at the edges of your thoughts and hiding it’s ugly lie deep in your spirit, so deep you can’t find where it ends. I’ve known days where I wanted to pull the covers up over my head and ignore everything and everyone. And I’ve known the desperate search for sleep that won’t come because the heartache and sorrow are simply too much.

I know what it’s like to defer your own dream, to lay aside your deepest desires, to give and give and give till the memory of your dream fades and becomes nothing more than a shadowy mist. To lay down the thing you deeply valued in order to take up what He says is valuable. Because being a mama is one of the most important jobs in the world. 

Kate and Francesca

I raised but one child so I can’t relate to all your struggle. My laundry pile was likely smaller than yours and I only had one schedule to memorize. I probably had a little more free time in my days and more resources to help my daughter define her dream. But here’s a truth you can take to the bank:

Mothering well is not about quantity but it’s all about quality. Good mothers are good whether they have one child or ten. 

Mama, let me encourage your hearts with these truths.

  1. You can do this.
  2. You’re doing much better than you think.
  3. You are perfect for the job.
  4. Some days will be hard.
  5. Your capacity for joy and sorrow will expand.
  6. God is with you every second of every day.
  7. God custom chose you for your children.
  8. God custom chose your children for you.
  9. You are changing the world, one child at a time.
  10. You’re not alone. Not for one second.

Raising children or even just one child is the best self-improvement course out there. Because your little ones, like tiny mirrors, will reflect all they see. Sometimes you’ll be happy with what they reflect and other days not so much. You’re not perfect and that’s okay. Neither are your kids! But they are perfectly loved and you are doing a perfectly good job. I just know it.

How can I pray for you? It would be my honor.

Blessings,

Kate, katebattistelli.com

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  • Gina Smith

    I am in the same season you are in, Kate, and I whole heartily agree with you! Such a great post!
    Gina
    http://www.reallifetitustwo.com

  • Kate Battistelli

    Thank you so much Gina! It doesn’t seem like we’ll ever get through it at the time but we do. Blessings!

  • Takiyah

    All I can say is…THANK YOU! I needed this EXACT message on this very morning. Thank God for sending you! Thank you!

    • Kate Battistelli

      I am so, so glad. Bless you mama!

  • http://www.dominicandkristin.blogspot.com kasmith03

    Beautiful post Kate! Love your heart and hope in among the crowds at Allume we can connect at least once! :)

    • Kate Battistelli

      Kristin – Oh I hope so! I would really love to meet you at Allume. Blessings!

  • Christina Queeno

    Thank you for the encouragement.

    • Kate Battistelli

      You are so welcome Christina! Blessings to you mama:)

  • Stacie Rogers

    I’m in the thick of things with a 3 year old and a strong willed, never sleeps ,I’m gonna bite you, spunky red headed one year old. Thank you for this encouragement to me today! You have a true ministry to mama’s souls! I wish more women can be honest at how hard it is to raise children and still keep your salvation haha!

    • Kate Battistelli

      Oh Stacie, it really can be so hard but then, when they’re sleeping or behaving like little angels, it cancels out all the craziness of the day and makes it so worth it. My daughter’s children are 1 and 3 so I totally get where you’re coming from. It WILL get easier, I promise!

  • Mommyof4

    “I probably had a little more free time in my days and more resources to help my daughter define her dream.”

    I appreciate this article a lot but as a mommy of four I hope you don’t think that we (parents of multiples) are not equipped to give our children resources they need. Wow. Also since when did doing laundry (although there may be lots of it) and other household duties become a “drudgery.” Our work is noble and we do it as unto The Lord.
    Blessings your way sister.

    • Kate Battistelli

      You are 100% right to say our work is noble. It is indeed! But at times, it can easily become something I HAVE to do and because I don’t like to, it piles up and by then, it’s no fun and has turned into drudgery. But that’s an attitude issue I must deal with in my own life.
      By resources I mean financial ones because I know how expensive sports and dance and other activities can be. We had a little more to go around since we didn’t have to spread it between siblings. For example, we only had one child taking 5 dance classes a week. If I’d had 4 girls, with what our income was, I don’t know if that would have been possible! Or 4 boys all playing sports! In terms of time and attention and words that speak life, well, those are unlimited resources in a mama’s heart! Blessings to you!

  • Dorcas Ross

    Dear Kate:

    You made me cry, thank you, for such a deep understanding, it was really encouraging. You asked how could you pray for me: our most important concern by now is this: my husband has been invited to be a pastor in a small church, we really need God´s insight in this. Bless you tons! Dorcas

    • Kate Battistelli

      Dorcas-I’m praying for wisdom and discernment for you and your husband. As long as you’re both seeking God’s insight, I know he will make the path clear. Blessings!

  • Mel

    Your words are so good for this momma-of-one-sweet-toddler-girl heart. Thank you, friend. :) And as a side note, it’s sometimes-humbling but almost always amazing to see her start to imitate what she’s learning and shine Jesus even at such a young age. Here’s the humbling part: a friend of mine watched her the other day and told me that after Mae went potty and washed her hands, she stopped in front of the full length mirror, turned around, and checked her bum. Twice. (Pretty sure my face was bright red…they really DO imitate it all!) ;) Loved this post…looking forward to meeting you at Allume! Blessings! :)

    • Kate Battistelli

      Oh my, they really are little mirrors aren’t they and, our own personal little ‘wake-up calls!’ I look forward to meeting you too! I’ve never been to Allume but I’m super excited. Blessings to you!

  • Melanie

    Hi Kate! Thanks so much for your encouraging words. I feel in desperate need of prayer right now. I have 2 children-one has recently graduated and I’m so worried about him and the choices he will be making in the near future. Please pray for me to have peace and for him to draw close to the Lord. Thank you so much!
    Blessings,
    Melanie

    • Kate Battistelli

      Melanie, I’m praying for you and your son right now. I really believe a mama’s prayers carry great importance and the best time spent for our children is time on our needs. Remember, He created your son and loves him even more than you do. Keep praying and keep trusting. I’m sure your raised him right and but he needs to figure out things and come to the Lord on his own. That’s one of the hardest things for us moms-they move away and we aren’t in control anymore! I pray God floods your mama-heart with peace like a river. And I pray He draws your son with love, as only He can. Blessings!

  • Kate Battistelli

    How exciting! Praying all goes well for you. Motherhood is one of life’s great and wonder-filled adventures! Blessings!

  • http://www.houseofworshippers.com/ Michelle @ House of Worshipper

    I needed this today! As a (trying to) homeschooling mama of 3- I have days that turn into 3 days of “is it ever going to end?” And I had to learn to let go of things on the side to focus on being a mom and wife to these kids.
    That was one of the things that made me combine my home blog with my ministry blog- because the two ARE one and God has to be the bridge.

    http://houseofworshippers.com/staying-the-course/

    • Kate Battistelli

      Michelle – It’s good to let go sometimes. Never easy but it sounds like a good decision to combine your blogs. You’re so right-home and ministry really are one! Blessings!

  • Amy

    Thank you for the encouraging words! I am a mother of 2 (2.5 yrs and 3 months) – the past few months have been an adjustment for all of us and I just returned to work. I pray that I am doig a good job but I doubt myself soo often – so thank you again for this post – I am going to print it out and read it often.
    Amy

  • Joyanna Farnsworth

    Love this! So needed to hear this today. I’m a new mom of a 6 week old and some days I feel like I am barely muddling through. I’d appreciate your prayers as my husband and I have decided to let me pursue my desire to be a SAHM, but it is a scary adventure to be embarking on!