Do you ever have
months weeks days hours where you feel like you’re correcting your kids A LOT? I sure do. There are seasons when it feels like helping them grow means I’m just harping on them about this, that, or the other thing.
Sadly, in the knitty gritty of schedules and chores and school work and manners and all of that STUFF, it’s easy to let your parenting become a series of corrections. And, in the process, lose sight of all the cause for celebration. To miss all the things your kids are doing well.
My husband and I are especially prone to this because we are both critical thinkers. Which can be a good thing in many ways… but it can also easily give way to just plain being critical. I’ll admit it, we tend to always see the things that need fixed.
We know this about ourselves. So about a year ago, Rick wisely led us to a better way. We call it the Victory Board. It’s a chalk board that hangs in our dining room. Every time our kids have a victory, we recognize it by writing it on the board. When the board fills up, we have a Victory Night. It’s a time when we recount their victories together over dinner. (Do you know we aren’t even allowed to correct their manners during Victory Night?!?)
We read through each item on the board. We remind them that God is doing great things in their lives. That they are growing in countless ways. That there are truly victories – all the time. Specific victories.
We try to recount all kinds of things. When Caleb mows the lawn without grumbling. When Madison waits patiently while Mommy finishes a conversation at church.
These little victories are cause for celebration. They are moments of growth. And our kids need to know we notice them. They need to hear us say it. It’s too easy to take the good stuff granted. Not because we mean to. It just sort of happens.
But not anymore. Not in this house.
Maybe you don’t need a Victory Board. We do.
All four of us.
The kids need it because they need to hear about the things they are doing well. They need to be built up and encouraged as they mature through the trials and tribulations of growing up.
We need it because we’re not perfect parents. (Shocker!) Do you know that it’s OK that you’re not a perfect parent? Do you know that you have weaknesses and that having a board to remind you to celebrate is OK? It doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. It just means that you have to know yourself.
And make a board if you need one.