The Male Ego…It’s Complicated

the male ego the better mom

The male ego is complicated. Women tend to “mock” how huge a man’s ego can be, but I think we forget our husband’s ego is tender. Deep down our husbands have genuine insecurities.

At one time, men competed to take down the biggest bear or to be the greatest warrior. Now many men seek the corner office or take their warrior selves to the sports arena! Women may question why men have such a need to prove themselves but often it comes from their need to feel adequate or worthy of respect.

Paula Rinhart says “Man lives with a challenging combination of great expectations amid great isolation. Hunter, gatherer, warrior, husband, brother but don’t let anyone see you sweat.”

Our men need to know that indeed they are adequate and worthy of respect. It’s okay to sweat sometimes.

“the wife must respect her husband”. Ephesians 5:33

If you find your husband having to tell you how great he is, maybe it’s because he doesn’t think you have noticed. It may not necessarily be that his ego is huge but rather the opposite.

He may be insecure.

As wives, it’s easy to forget the heavy burden that our husband’s carry. God made our men with broad shoulders and they carry the weight of the family on those shoulders every day.

Take the time today to verbalize to your husband what a great father, husband, provider, golfer, number cruncher, trash carry outer he is! As you build him up, that heavy burden he carries on those broad shoulders will grow lighter and lighter because he will feel stronger and stronger.

Work toward building a marriage that will last a lifetime.

Walk with the King,


**If you are married to a husband who travels – I just finished a series on How To Maintain Your Marriage When Your Husband Travels <—-here.

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  1. says

    I use to not want to encourage or build up my husband because I thought his ego was too big already and he got a lot of accolades out in the world. I felt it was my job to take him down a rung or two. Now I realize God created them to be that way to go out and “slay the dragons”…provide a living for the family and they need encouragement and adoration from their wives. Every wife influences his life, either beneficially or harmfully.

    • says

      Yes Lori! They need someone to celebrate even the small triumphs of the day with them! Through the ups and downs – they need to know that we are on their team. And by the way Lori – I LOVE your blog and read it regularly (you pop up in my FB feed and always intrigue me and inspire me)!!! ;) Keep writing!!!
      Courtney :)

  2. KM Logan @lessonsfromivy says

    Every word of this is true, I wish I would have been reminded of this yesterday though :p……..

  3. Chasity says

    What a great reminder! I also have to remind myself that his confidence was one of the things that attracted me to him in the first place.

  4. Esther E Hawkins says

    I started doing this with my husband and the transformation was immediate and amazing!!! I also notice that once he started to feel respected by me, he in turn was able to give me the attention and affirmation that I was longing for.

  5. Nicole Machnicki says

    This was a wonderful reminder and an eye opener. It’s so easy to assume that he knows how much I appreciate him. Thank you!!

  6. Jennifer Holland says

    Hello Courtney! I am a newbie to your blogs but I have to say that I enjoy each and eveeyone of them! This one is absolutely amazing! Thank you for letting the Lord use you to encourage women/wives/mothers around the world. I look forward to reading more from you throughout the year.

  7. says

    This is so amazingly true! I think sometimes we forget and in trying to “help” our husbands we are really just beating them down. It’s so important to build them up and the best part is when you build them up we get to reap the benefits of a strong Godly man leading our family.

  8. Hillary Gould says

    Great post and soooo true! My friend and I were just discussing this last night…and how we feel that our husband’s are great…and sometimes they verbalize to us that they don’t FEEL like they are so great… We realized that their ego is tender and that we must nurture it… It’s something that I didn’t fully understand until this conversation last night…and then I see this post today… How ironic! God is definitely trying to tell me something! :)

  9. Christine says

    Thank you Courtney, it’s such a good reminder. There has been a loss in my life and I forget how much my husband tries to care for me, and he IS amazing. I need to remember to thank him for all the wonderful ways he helps and comforts me. I am blessed to have such a kind and sweet husband. I hope I never take him for granted.

    bless you today <3

  10. says

    Thanks for this post- what a timely reminder that our husbands need us, and many times much more than we think. They also appreciate us more than we think (we’re looking for the verbal affirmation from them). And yet, they are looking for different forms of affirmation from us that they are great leaders and that we look up to them and honor them.


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