I Want Volume and I Want it Now!

I go through the same cycle every couple of years. I finally get my hair to the length that I want it and then I start to wonder why I grew it out. It’s lifeless, drab and all I ever seem to do is pull it back into a ponytail. I become “The Pony Girl” for about a year until I make the call.

I want volume. I want layers. And I want them today. So I go see Justin at the mall and I tell him that I want big hair–the biggest hair he can pull off. I don’t care if I need to add a sun roof to my little red car, I just want volume.

A centimeter is added to my stature, the new facebook photos go up, and I’m thrilled with my hair for a few days, maybe a few weeks…

Then one day I get up, look in the mirror and say to myself. “What in the world have you done, Darlene? Didn’t you learn your lesson the first bazillion times you made this mistake? Do you know how long this takes to grow back?”

Finally after forty-six years I’ve realized something. My hair style isn’t the problem, I am. For one, I’m not content (that’s the biggie), and two, when I take the time to blow dry, tease and style my hair it looks pretty awesome. When I don’t put the extra effort in, it looks drab. Period. Long or short I deal with the same scenario every time–I think that a new hair style will make the difference when really it’s an issue of the heart.

So it is with many marriages. We may wake up one morning, take a look at our spouse and start to notice that life has gotten a little drab over time. We need proverbial volume in our lives, and we want it today. Unfortunately many marriages end because people get caught up in the cycle of discontentment. Just look at Zsa Zsa Gabor who was married nine times, Liz Taylor married eight times, Larry King married eight times, Linda Wolfe from Indiana married 23 times is looking for 24, and the list goes on…

There’s a lot of discontentment in this world.

Let’s look at this scripture:

When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest, and findeth none. Then he saith, I will return into my house from whence I came out; and when he is come, he findeth it empty, swept, and garnished. Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter in and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse than the first. Even so shall it be also unto this wicked generation. ~ Matthew 12:43-45

What we learn from this is the difference between a moral transformation and a spiritual one. When we see something in our lives that requires a change, whether it be a bad habit or something as big as a troubled marriage, we need to handle it in a spiritual way. We could eliminate the problem, but that desire for more will only come back again and again unless we fill that space with the contentment that comes to those who walk in the Spirit.

Contentment is vital, but some work is also required to those who seek change. Marriages, like a garden take time to grow, but the harvest is rich unto those who patiently and tenderly care for the ground. 

And so ladies, we have a choice. We can live in discontentment wishing that we had a better marriage, a cleaner house, polite children, and a good meal on the table, or we can put in the extra work that it takes to be a loving wife, a nurturing mother, and a faithful steward of our home.

That’s what we can do, but there’s so much more that God can do…

Things might not fall into place the way that we want them too. In fact nobody can predict what tomorrow will hold. But I can promise you thi: if you pray asking God to work in your situation, and trust Him with your life He will be at work.

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. ~ 1 Timothy 6:6-8

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene Schacht
Time-Warp Wife 


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  1. Becky Godby says

    Oh thank you for this! I don’t normally get on the computer first thing but I’m glad i did today. This was such an encouragement and a reprimand. I usually think of myself as a content person but for me, maybe I’m too content or too lazy to put the work into my spiritual walk, my marriage and my home to make it what I dream it could be. And then the part about what God can do really hit home as well. I’m so glad that this blog doesn’t write the “feel good gospel” because today is what I’ve been needing to hear. Thank you!

  2. says

    I love the connection between contentedness and work. We need to be content in our relationships, but we also have to work to make them better. Such a great post. I’m planning to share a link on my blog on Friday!

  3. Laurie says

    Wow this is such an amazing analogy!! I keep doing the same thing-in the rut right now with trying to grow my hair longer-for what? Looks better layered and it does need me to use curling irons or blow dry with brush..then it looks much better-I keep looking for a cut I can just wear….and here all this time..it’s just me-being lazy and it will still look drab..same in marriage..perfect words I needed to hear today-*God Bless You for sharing this !!!~

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