Love Is a Gift Not a Swap of Emotions

My marriage is wonderful, and my husband is incredible, but let me also say that our relationship isn’t perfect—it’s taken work to get where we are. There have been some rough patches and some days when he didn’t seem all that “wonderful” to me, and I can imagine that he’s felt the same way.

I’ve come to see that love is like an oak tree. When nurtured it takes root. We have storms that leave us feeling confused and miserable, but we put effort into seeing them through, because both Michael and I know that with each passing season those roots are growing beyond what our senses observe.

Like most young couples, we started out eager yet unprepared. I was a young bride believing that love was give and take, and that a 50/50 partnership was ideal. As long as I was willing to meet Michael halfway on everything, we’d be just fine. But experience soon taught me that unless I was willing to give 100 percent of myself to this marriage, without expectation of return, my gift of love was little more than a swap of emotions.

“Without expectation of return?” You might ask, “Well that doesn’t seem fair.”

The truth of the matter is is that the return on my investment comes from the Father in Heaven and Him alone. That’s where my confidence lies.

Love is a gift, and if we hand over a gift with one hand open while the other is closed, the gift is lost in exchange.

Marriage isn’t a barter system, and love isn’t a currency.

  • It’s exercising patience when your husband’s habits are grating on every one of your nerves
  • It’s kindness when your partner is grumpy
  • It’s being humble enough to lose an argument when you feel that you’re right
  • It’s holding your temper when he says something in anger
  • It’s protecting his reputation from your own tongue
  • It’s trusting in his capabilities to handle a difficult task
  • It’s standing strong in difficult times

The question then would be, Why are we planting seeds without an expectation of return?

The answer is because we aren’t planting them for the sake of our husbands or for ourselves, we plant them for the sake of our Lord who loved us before we loved Him, and who gave His life freely while we were yet sinners. Love like that doesn’t carry an expectation, but it does carry a hope.

Sow your seed in the morning, and at evening let your hands not be idle, for you do not know which will succeed, whether this or that, or whether both will do equally well.~ Ecclesiastes 11:6, NIV 

You are loved by an almighty God,

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Comments

  1. says

    Yes, yes! I’d like to stand on the rooftops to shout your message. Ok, well, maybe at the exit doors from the churches as the wedding couple is coming out. “Excuse me, but I have something for you…” :-)

    I grow so weary of hearing other couples play power games about who owes who what and who is giving the most. There is so much more joy in meeting your mate by giving 100%. I pray your words bring great encouragement to brides both old and new!

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