You Complete Me and Other Ridiculous Notions

 

It was 1996. Jerry Maguire looked across the room at Dorothy Boyd, and with tear-stained cheeks he gave her his heart along with three little words, “You complete me.”

I’m a hopeless romantic, and yet I have to tell you that this moment in chick-flick history was about as cheesy as a two-topping pizza. But cheesy or not it’s one of those famous lines that won’t soon be forgotten.

All kidding aside, let’s take a look at the idea of completeness and how it relates to our marriage. The notion here is that you are two pieces of a puzzle that come together to make one whole.

That forms a pretty picture and a great analogy, but the reality is that Jesus Christ completes me, all else is grace.

For of him, and through him, and to him, are all things: to whom be glory for ever. Amen. ~ Romans 11:36

And yes, scriptures tell us that two shall become one, but that unity isn’t made whole unless Jesus Christ is the center of it.

Women bring a lot more to their marriage when they lack nothing but a desire for more of God, which reminds me of the quote by Max Lucado, “A woman’s heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her.” But of course as long as we’re in the flesh we will never reach that place of complete perfection. We’ll slip and we’ll fall and we’ll miss the mark from time to time, but it’s certainly something we should press toward as we’re learning to lean on God.

The testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. ~ James 1:3-4, NIV

See that? I don’t see a man or a woman anywhere in that equation. What I see instead is ones commitment to living by faith.

The minute that we take our eyes off of God and put them onto this world we begin to lust after things that rust, and break, and fade away rather looking to God as our source of contentment. That’s when we say ridiculous things like:

  • You complete me
  • I have to have it
  • I’ll die without it
  • If it feels good, do it!
  • Follow your heart.

Love this quote from John Piper, “The deepest root of Christian womanhood is hope in God. She doesn’t put her hope in her husband or in getting one, and she doesn’t put her hope in her looks.”

As a child I put my hope in my father. He was an amazing Dad who supplied everything his wife and six daughters needed. There was never a day I went hungry and there was rarely a day he didn’t make me smile. He was everything to me.

I loved that man so much and always will. But in 1976 Mom and Dad led our family toward something better than they could ever supply on their own–faith in God through His Son, Jesus Christ. There isn’t a gift under the sun that is greater than that, in fact it’s that gift that carried me through his recent sickness and death as I sang, “What a day that will be…”

I love my dad with all my heart, but the bottom line is that Jesus completes me, all else is grace. (Dad would love to hear me say that, and would add a big, “Amen!”)

Blessings,

Darlene Schacht

www.timewarpwife.com

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About Darlene Schacht

Darlene is an ordinary mom, living an extraordinary life, because of who she is through Jesus Christ. As help-meet to her husband Michael, she guides and nurtures their four children, leading them toward a deeper walk of faith. She is a New York Times best-selling author through the book she co-authored with actress Candace Cameron Bure titled, Reshaping it All: Motivation for Physical and Spiritual Fitness. Her writing has also been published in Thomas Nelson's anthology, Grace Givers, Tyndale Publisher's Soul Food/Life Savors for Women, A Cup of Comfort (Adam's Media), and she has published articles through many magazines. You can find her blogging at Time-Warp Wife where she empowers wives to joyfully serve and on twitter.

  • http://www.facebook.com/barb.spencer.9 Barb Spencer

    What a great post. Thank you so much for sharing this important truth, Darlene. I’m reading Counterfeit Gods by Tim Keller right now and it speaks to this very fact that God alone must complete us. So very timely.

  • Robin

    Wow…really loved this!!!
    Robin

  • Nicole

    Powerful! Just what I needed to hear this morning.

  • Sarah Vaughan

    Of course Christ is the one who ultimately completes us, and before I was married I used to balk at the notion that any human being could “complete me.” But to dismiss the profound ways God has created us to be in relationship with one another would be a misnomer, to say the least. God made us for His glory, so I think any Christian would agree that He created not just one gender but two, to be unified in marriage, to glorify Himself. There are mysteries of God that I am certain I would not have understood on a deeper level outside of marriage which have caused me to grow spiritually and usher me further down the road of completion and sanctification more than any other experience in my life, kids included. Why does Christ refer to the Church as His “Bride”? Why didn’t He just describe Himself as “Father”, “Savior” and “Shepherd”? I think because of the profundity with which He created the marriage institution we are able grasp an essential concept about the nature of Christ and His relationship to His people.

    I understand that you are referring mainly to the way that phrase is used in superficial settings like Hollywood, but I think to completely write off its implications, especially within a marriage grounded in Christ, is to negate the function of completion found uniquely in marriage (because God put it there) that, frankly, more people need to understand when looking forward to marriage or are already married.

    All that to say that I really do appreciate what you are saying–salvation is found in Christ alone, after all, and not man. But we are not islands unto ourselves, either, and to say that God did not give us our spouses to complete us is not painting a complete understanding of the oft-used phrase “You complete me” or of the nature of marriage.

    God bless you!
    ~Sarah

  • Judith

    What a beautiful post!!

  • Megan G.

    Here’s another one – “Be true to yourself!”

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1117814643 Esther Bautista

    I agree wholeheartedly. I need someone who is my 100% and only Jesus can be that for me. Jesus completes me. Not Jerry Maguire. (or my husband)

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