The Importance of “Date Time” With Your Child

 

Several years ago my daughters presented me with a very special gift for my birthday. It was a scrapbook of letters they had written to me, along with letters from relatives and friends, from whom they had solicited, and compiled into a decorated keepsake. It is a beautiful book!

One common thread that I discovered in the letters written by my older children was that they each recalled a vivid memory of a specific occasion when we had spent precious time together– alone.

Three of our ten children are grown already, and I realize my time is limited as each child continues to race toward adulthood at an alarming rate.

In an attempt to capture priceless quality moments, this year I’ve begun a brand new tradition in our home. On each of my children’s birthdays (or on a day close to it), I am spending the appointed day focused on them.

So far this year I’ve taken several of the girls “fun shopping” and a couple of them out for tea at a local antique store with a tea room. I’ve visited an Army Base with one son and had a private tea party with another.  Along the way there have been stops at the library, consignment store, ice cream parlor and toy shop.  I take into account each child’s interests and try to plan ahead for our conversations. We end the evening with a special dinner out with daddy, just the three of us.

Life can get hectic, especially as we are busy raising children. It takes effort and sacrifice to spend planned quality time alone with each child. But the memories that are etched into the minds and hearts of our precious children make it all worth the effort.

Do you “date” your children? How do you spend that special time?

Blessings,

Cheryl

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About Cheryl

Cheryl has been a follower of Jesus Christ since meeting Him in 1997, during the darkest moment of her life. She is happily married to Terry (for 24 years), is a home-schooling momma of ten children, and a grandma to three precious kiddos so far. She blogs about relationships, lessons she has learned from costly mistakes, frugal living, and how to look for the Lord in every situation at Treasures from a Shoebox.

  • http://psalm23five.blogspot.com/ Nicole Anderson

    Once a week my husband takes one of our two blessings out and I do something with the other one. This allows us one on one time with them. I believe the idea of “dating” your children, or we refer to it as “boys night” “girls night” and Daddy/Daughter Mommy/Son night, is absolutely critical. Your children need to see that you have an interest in them and in what is going on in their life. Thank you for this encouragement to parents!

    • http://profiles.google.com/cheryl.a.long Cheryl Long

      What a fun tradition you’ve begun! I’m sure this will be in their top five memories of childhood when they are grown.

    • http://profiles.google.com/cheryl.a.long Cheryl Long

      What a wonderful tradition you’ve begun in your home! This will probably be in the top 5 things your children treasure from their childhood.

  • Charity Vanderhoof

    I have 2 sons and no daughters. My husband is gone quite a bit as he is growing our relatively young business and starting a second business. I make it a priority to take our boys out one on one. I am trying to do this once a month for each one. I am not always able to take them somewhere do to child care arrangements, but if I can’t I do try to arrange one on one time here at home. I want them to feel like they are each my favorite. In fact I tell my oldest that he is my favorite oldest son and I tell my youngest that he is my favorite younger son. I hope each one grows up feeling treasured by his Momma.

    • http://profiles.google.com/cheryl.a.long Cheryl Long

      One of our children’s favorite things is to get a personal invitation on their pillow requesting their presence for a private tea party with Mommy early the next morning. I’ve purchased “you are invited” cards just for this occasion. I pull out the fancy dishes, tea cups, and make a few simple treats. The boys especially enjoy this! You know what they say, “The way to a man’s heart is through is stomach.”

  • Lisa

    What a truly wonderful tradition! It is so important to spend special time with your children. Even if it is just one of them accompanying their parent to the market, it is the one-on-one time that makes them feel cherished. :-)

    • http://profiles.google.com/cheryl.a.long Cheryl Long

      For Destiny’s birthday, on of our last stops for groceries. At the checkout, she proudly told the cashier that today was her birthday. The mom behind me laughed and said, “Every child’s wish…to grocery shop at Wal-Mart on their birthday.” I smiled and agreed, but then explained that as Destiny is number 9 of ten children, the alone time with mom is a rare treat. She soberly said, “Wow.” Three year old Michael Ray squeals when I ask him if he would like to grocery shop with Mommy. You’re right; it’s not so much where you go, but the one-on-one time that makes them feel cherished!

  • http://www.facebook.com/barb.spencer.9 Barb Spencer

    I love that you’ve shared this. When my oldest turned 13 (realizing the time she’d be with us was getting too short), I began to take one of my children out each week to lunch or for ice cream. It was sweet to have a special time with each one getting to know them in a way I wouldn’t have otherwise. Three of them are out of the house now, but I will never regret the time or money spent having special time alone with them. Thanks so much for sharing this! ~Barb

    • http://profiles.google.com/cheryl.a.long Cheryl Long

      It is such a needed reminder to mommas of young children that our babes will one day be grown. Thank you for sharing your sweet memories with us, Barb!

  • Laura West

    We just started that same birthday tradition in our home this year. I love it!! I’m going to add in your suggestion of having Daddy join us for dinner. :) That sounds even better!

    • http://profiles.google.com/cheryl.a.long Cheryl Long

      Daddy really enjoys it as well, since his individual time with each child is more limited than mine.

  • http://www.toodarnhappy.com/ Kim Hall

    I love this idea! Even though our girls are in their twenties, I think it would be such fun to do this. We had done a similar scrapbook for my husband’s 50th birthday. Most of the notes and letters focused on very special moments. It is a tremendous gift of love for anyone!

    • http://profiles.google.com/cheryl.a.long Cheryl Long

      What a lovely idea, Kim; I had hoped to spend a day a month with my oldest daughter, who lives an hour away. Still trying to fit that in…

  • http://twitter.com/Laura_at_HOJN HouseOfJoyfulNoise

    My husband and I have 4 children, ages 15 and 10 year old triplets. We have what we call ‘Gem Dates’ with each of them, and it is a wonderful way to have real quality one-on-one time with each them. As a homeschooling Mama, I am with my children virtually 24/7. Our wonderful dates aside, I know at every day’s end, I have connected with each of my children one-on-one in the course of the day, because I make that effort to. I know these are the some of the most important moments that remind them each how loved and special they are as the unique child God made them to be, for just who they are, alone.

    • http://profiles.google.com/cheryl.a.long Cheryl Long

      I like that- “Gem Dates”. It does take concerted effort to ensure one-on-one time with each child on a daily basis, but it sure helps keep those lines of communication open.