A Choice To Rejoice

Today I’m excited to introduce you to our guest Dana Butler.  Here is a little bit about Dana

Dana Butler is a t-shirt-and-jeans, pumpkin-spice-latte kinda girl. She is very [very, very, very!!] happily married to a Jesus-loving, gospel-teaching, self-proclaimed computer nerd. She and her family live in a 115-year-old-home in an inner city neighborhood of Kansas City, MO, where they are trying to live out intentional community with their [awesome, beloved] church family. A former foster mom of 2, she currently spends her days playing with play dough, watching train and helicopter videos, and running wild at the zoo with her amazing 2-year-old [biological] son. She and her husband are currently in the active/waiting stage of their domestic infant adoption process. Dana loves song-writing and frequently leads worship for her church family. One of her passions is to share with other women her continual journey of learning to “tune in” to the voice and nearness of Jesus throughout her days as a mom. Dana writes her heart almost daily at her blog, A Time to Laugh.

Dana writes:

Rejoice with those who rejoice.…” (Romans 12:15)

Five words, spoken in the context of loving one another well within the body of Christ. They seem like a no-brainer, don’t they?

But sometimes, there are heart-hurdles that make this simple concept quite complex:

•In 2005, I experienced a very painful marriage-breakdown, separation, and divorce. I had never
dreamed I’d be divorced at age 25. I was traumatized and devastated. During that season, I attended three weddings, and had a role in one of them.

•In 2008, my sweet sis-in-law and I were pregnant together with our first babies, due within 4 days of each other. I miscarried my baby at 11 weeks. She went on to have my nephew the week I would have been due.

•My husband and I fostered a beautiful baby girl (We got her from the hospital at 2 days old) until she was 21 months (2009-2010). Simultaneously, some dear friends fostered a boy near her age, and ended up adopting him at age 2… just as we lost our sweet girl to a corrupt system. There are no words to describe how our hearts were crushed.

Each of these losses was heart-wrenching… and in each one, God intentionally placed people in my life whose circumstances starkly contrasted mine: massive celebrations in the face of my own devastation.

I have a feeling I’m not the only one who understands this type of pain.

It was the day after we’d learned that I was losing our baby. My brother called to tell us that they too were expecting (They had waited till nearer the end of their first trimester to share), and their due date was 4 days after mine.

And I nearly decided in my heart that God was cruel.

BUT… in His mercy, He tenderly pulled me back from that dangerous cliff of doubting His goodness, reminded me of His heart toward me, His plan for me, and whispered loudly to my heart…

Rejoice with them.”

It was God’s call to me in each one of these losses.

At first glance, such a request from Him in the face of such great pain seems cold and uncaring.

But this was by no means a “you’d-better-suck-it-up-and-rejoice-no-matter-how-you-feel” kind of command.

This was an invitation… a tender call to me to courageously share in His heart. To trust Him to hold and heal my aching heart, while simultaneously sharing in the joy of my loved ones.

A call to genuine, heart-felt rejoicing, in the midst of my own grief.

I’d be lying if I said it was easy. Sometimes it was incredibly painful.

But I knew that if God was asking this of me, He MUST intend to meet me deeply in it.

And those times of stepping out in faith to wholeheartedly rejoice with those dear to me became some of my sweetest, most intimate experiences with God.

With each step of obedience… a wedding gift… a hug… a “congrats on your adoption” card… the Father whispered His “well-done” to my heart.

And in my feeble, but faith-filled, response to His invitation, His pleasure over me became a healing balm that covered my heart’s scars in an unexpected way.

My friends, I believe this is God’s invitation to you also:

1. Whatever your season of grief, trust Him to hold and heal your heart.

2. Know that He is uniquely near to you in the midst of your pain (Psalm 34:18). Ask Him to make His
presence tangible to you.

3. Trust that He will encounter you deeply as you genuinely rejoice with those who rejoice… as He
provides opportunities.

Our feeble, trust-filled “Yes” will pave the way to intimacy with Him.  It always does.

Blessings,

Dana

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About guest
  • Jill

    Wow, did you post this just for me?? I had a miscarriage in April, I would be due at the beginning of November. I was 12 weeks pregnant. One of my best friends is pregnant and due in October. I have been rejoicing with her, but secretly feeling sad and upset for my loss, yet having to watch her celebrate hers. On top of this, last night I had a dream that I had a baby, only to wake up and realize it was a dream. It seemed like a cruel dream :( It gets harder as her due date, and what would have been my baby’s gets closer, but you have convinced me of asking God to pull me closer and help me truely rejoice in my friend’s blessing! Thank you for talking about these things and making me feel like I am not alone, and my feelings were understood, but I can get through these if I just ask for God’s help. Your post was a blessing to me today!

    • http://kcbutlersatimetolaugh.blogspot.com/ Dana Butler

      Hi Jill, I’m so, so sorry to hear about the loss of your baby. There are few things as painful as when Jesus gets to hold our babies before we do. Sorry too about your dream last night. So hard… and yes, dreams like that do feel cruel. Praying (really, right now) for grace for you to deeply sense God’s heart toward you in this season, and His nearness to you… and His supernatural comfort. Remember that it’s not a “suck-it-up-and-rejoice” kind of command, but a tender invitation into intimacy with Him and then to walk into genuine rejoicing with your friend out of that place. Grace, grace, grace to you as Jesus continues to heal your heart, friend.

      • Jill

        Thanks so much for your kinds words. They moved me to tears, happy tears though…and that’s something I haven’t felt in awhile. Thank you, friend!

        • http://kcbutlersatimetolaugh.blogspot.com/ Dana Butler

          You are precious. :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/vblair90 Victoria Blair

    My 3 year long engagement ended right as the engagement of a friend started. I must admit I did not do a very good job of rejoicing with her through my pain. She’s now happily married and I am so happy for her but I do hope she doesn’t hold against me the moments I just did not want to hear about her wedding as I nursed my broken heart. If/when this happens again, I pray that G-d will give me the grace to act as you did, to rejoice despite my storm.

    • http://kcbutlersatimetolaugh.blogspot.com/ Dana Butler

      Hi Victoria, I’m so sorry to hear of the ending of your engagement…of all of the hopes and dreams that seemed to be crushed. I can only imagine the depth of the sense of loss you must have felt. I just have to say to you that it’s not too late to enter into genuine rejoicing with your friend even now. You can ask God to give you wisdom to know how to do that with her – He will answer. :) I’m asking Him right now to tangibly hold your heart and whisper HOPE to you. Bless you!!

  • Janet Erickson

    That is such an insightful message. Thanks

    • http://kcbutlersatimetolaugh.blogspot.com/ Dana Butler

      Thank you so much for your encouragement, Janet!

  • http://www.facebook.com/mahoneyssm Anthony Mahoney

    Thanks Dana! This just helped me.

    • http://kcbutlersatimetolaugh.blogspot.com/ Dana Butler

      oh, cool! Hi Anthony! :) So glad you found encouragement here.

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