The Unplugged Quiet {Is tossing the TV weird?}

“I knew a Homeschooling family when I was young.  I always thought they were… well… weird.”  Mom smirks at me from the couch and I chuckle at her honesty.  “Not weird in a bad way.  Just – their house…  they were like you.  No TV and all that.  Their house was just so quiet.  I remember thinking it was really different – strange.”


I know exactly what Mom is talking about.  That unplugged quiet.  When my husband and I decided to toss our TV about five years ago, it took us awhile to get used to.  However, within a few months of going TV-free, I couldn’t stand being in a room where the box was blaring.  I literally couldn’t think straight.

And I often wonder if that’s how most of our culture lives – with the inability to focus.  We are a culture obsessed with distraction.  It’s why I call a lot of media “Weapons of Mass Distraction”.  We are so accustomed to entertainment, to always having something to watch, something to listen to, something to fall into and zone out with.

These days, the average teen uses five media devices at one time.  They’ll be listening to their iPod, watching TV, surfing the web, sending texts on their cell, and talking on the home phone all at once.  And when media is made to sell products and encourage humans to crave the continual material upgrade, how is our obsession with screens contributing to our inability to find joy and peace?  Everything is awry.  And we wonder why so many people cannot feel, cannot engage and cannot love?!

It’s like Neil Postman said,

…we are entertaining ourselves to death.

Death because we cannot find peace in the quiet.  We cannot just be.  We don’t know who we are, so we are not comfortable with ourselves.  The quiet home is an eerie one.  The TV-free, rambling-free, mind-clutter-free home is the one that makes most feel uneasy.   It should be the other way around, but it isn’t.  We are living in a topsy-turvy culture.  Busy, mindless noise is common place.  Ridding your home of it is, well, weird.

But, if we cannot find comfort in quiet, how do we find God?  How can we hear His voice when all our senses are crowded with the clatter of pop-culture mayhem?

How do we still ourselves long enough to even think?  To wonder who we are, what we are doing here, and where our Creator is in all this mess?  To read.  To write.  To drink up the time we have with our children, our spouse, our friends.  To talk.  To actually engage with the people around us and this amazing world God created – instead of staring at a box of lies.

I wonder if our culture fears solitude.  Do people honestly fear quiet?  Maybe it’s the uncertainty of what we might discover if we take time to just be.  Be still.  Be humbled.  Be taught.  Be spoken to.  Be intimate.  Be vulnerable.  Because the quiet is vulnerable, isn’t it?

The quiet is this big wide open space we feel needs filling.

But, what if the filling is the problem?

It’s when we relax and choose to un-entertain ourselves that the real, life-changing, love-inspiring movement takes place.  The God-discoveries and self-meetings.  The stuff that just can’t transfer from blinking screen to human heart.  It’s the eternal sweetness that happens in the quiet.

Once you embrace it, you crave it.  The quiet is no longer weird, it is home.

 

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About Cassandra

Cassandra is married to Wesley, and together they home educate three children who humble and amaze them daily.  She is passionate about sharing authentic faith, and the freedom and purpose that come through Christ.  Her heart is renewed by tall trees, a rushing river and an upward gaze.  She shares love notes from the unplugged path at www.TheUnpluggedFamily.com.

  • http://www.heartandvisionforfamily.wordpress.com/ Beate

    I feel exactly the same way. We have tossed our TV nearly 8 years ago. We don’t miss it at all. To be honest – I grew up with no TV and personally never owned one. My husband brought a very old TV set into our marriage and I was glad when it broke down. I love and need the quietness in my home.

  • http://www.joyfilleddays.com/ Sarah Beals

    I LOVED this post. I think with the constant onslaught of media, it is actually harder to think and process. It does something to my brain, for sure. I need and crave quiet. We don’t have TV reception, but do have one for movies/dvds. Someday I fear that we’ll find that all of this electronic stimulation made us loose brain cells or made us crazy or something.Thank you!

    • tawnya

      I need and crave quiet too!
      I HATE the TV!
      But we do have one…i barely know how to work the remote!
      I would be purrrfectly happy if we did not have one!

  • Jenn

    We have a half hour of TV time in the morning after the kids have breakfast, dressed, and beds are made then it goes off till 8:30 pm when the kids are in bed and the hubby and I will watch a show then it is off again. However we have a 4 yo foster child who insists on watching TV and he will sit in front of it all day even when it is not on yelling that he only wants to watch TV not play. This is just one example of many that to many parents use the TV as a babysitter instead of interaction with their children. We try to get his attention on something else but as he gets use to our house and the things we do hopefully this will lessen.

    • http://profiles.google.com/cassandra.dorman Cassandra D

      Wow, sorry to hear this. I’m sure it’s really hard. I’m sure, with time, he’ll realize he’s not missing nearly as much as he thinks. Best of luck to you as you move forward and blessings to you, as you embrace this child.

  • Lisa Howie

    We began a media-fast during Lent two years ago. It was GREAT! Difficult to get used to at first, because of habit, but well worth the little bit of self-restraint. We have three children, elementary through high school, who enjoy TV as much as the next child. We have NO TV Monday through Thursday. If there is no weekend homework, the TV can go on after school on Friday. They are allowed some time on Saturday and Sunday to catch up on shows or movies. It keeps the house peaceful through the week, and by the weekend they really aren’t all that interested because there are so many other things they’ve been waiting to do during the school week.
    I recommend it to any family.

  • Courtney

    I loved this post!!!! I grew up in a home without a TV, and I was home schooled…imagine that!! I hated it then and thought it made us so weird! The older I am getting I am realizing just how smart my parents were. Now I am beginning to question it in my own home. I hate the fact that the first thing in the morning my son wants is Mickey Mouse. Now to just convince my husband who grew up in a family that did nothing but watch TV , that this is the right choice for us!

  • http://www.facebook.com/barb.spencer.9 Barb Spencer

    Cassandra, what an awesome post! We have had no TV for a few years and we do not miss it at all. I feel like it desensitizes us to things we shouldn’t be desensitized to. I recently read, “Love Your God With All Your Mind” by J. P. Moreland and I felt convicted that I need to be reading and making the most of my mind…can’t do that when the TV is constantly on. Thanks so much!

  • http://www.bluemarblegod.com/ Melanie Gillgrist

    We are always on the edge of “no tv.” We made a move about a year ago to not have cable, etc. So all we can watch is via netflix. But it is still watching. Something to be thinking and praying about.
    Thanks for your words!

  • Kristin

    We do have a TV in the basement and our room. We rarely watch it. Iam at home alone most of the time and almost never turn it on. Our son would watch all day if I let him, but he can only watch for a couple of hours on the weekends. A friend gave me the nicest compliment when she told me that my house was the most peaceful house she had ever been in. She said it was so quiet and comforting because the TV and radio were never on and that even my appliances didn’t make noise. Made me feel wonderful because that someone found so much peace in my home.

  • Christi

    Thank you! We don’t have a tv either, and just today was at a friends thinking the same thing! Best choice ever getting rid of ‘the box’!

  • Noel McNeil

    This is one the best posts you’ve written Cassandra. Thank you! I totally agree. Most people have the TV on just to have background noise. I admit, I used to be that way, but now my children provide enough noise with out adding to it. And I don’t miss it a bit. Thanks so much for being willing to stand out and be “weird’. :) I don’t think it’s weird at all and I think the tv in my house is working its way out. :)

    • http://profiles.google.com/cassandra.dorman Cassandra D

      Thanks, Noel. Haha… children certainly do add to the noise level and I do sometimes giggle at the notion that our house is “too quiet”. Only in the evenings after 9pm, dear friends. I applaud your openess!

  • Charity Vanderhoof

    I would gladly have no tv. There are a few rare occasions where I would miss it. However, my husband and I do not agree on this matter. After we discussed the reasons for both of our views, we decided to not have sattelite or cable or netflix. We live next to a grain elevator that blocks network tv signal so we only get PBS and PBS Create. Our children get to pick one video each per week to watch or one PBS program. Since I only have 2 sons then that limits the tv a lot. However, when one of my sons was sick this week I was glad for having some videos and the tv as he did watch more while he was laying on the couch. Then there is the Wii and they only get a small amount of time on Saturdays, and they look forward to that time. What is so funny is that after 15-20 minutes they do not want the Wii anymore because they think Legos and playing outside are much more fun. I really like this post and thing you have hit on some truth that we are entertaining ourselves to death. Awesome post!!!!!

  • Anna

    Thank you for this post! I grew up with TV, but it wasn’t constant. In my parents house it has gradually become a constant and I can’t stand to be around it anymore. My husband and I have had cable for about 6-9 months of the 5 years that we’ve been married and are currently without. We have amazon prime, so we can watch movies if we want and we do have some dvds for the kids to watch on my computer. But the dvds are out of sight and so out of mind. I was also complimented recently when a college student from our church visited for the weekend and said how peaceful our home was and how she could feel the presence of God here. If that is weird, then I am just fine with it :)

  • Michele

    We have talked about eliminating TV completely. We do get Netflix, my husband decided to do that when I was on complete bedrest. I love to read, but after 60 books or so the pleasure had diminished. I wasn’t allowed to sit, only lie on my side. A break in the monotony was a welcome change. Now, though, I wish we hadn’t subscribed just because the temptation is always there for our children. Just one more thing to deal with and boundaries to enforce. The only positive I see is that your “recently watched” programs are on the screen so I know exactly what my older children are watching when I am gone for a little while.

    Another aspect is that there is so little that is good on any TV program. Last night I told my husband I want to be very careful to not allow ourselves to be entertained by sin. We just had an extended family member (homeschooled and loved to engage in Christian apologetics) choose to reject what God clearly states in His word and follow a path of sin. The tears, heartache, and shock seem as though they will never end. Now we are asking, “how could she?!” Looking back we can remember her baby steps into accepting sin and, as TV was what their family primarily did for entertainment, she was already desensitized to what God calls an abomination because it was “funny”.

    BTW, he agreed completely and had already decided to stop watching TV after the kids were in bed at night. So really, there is no reason to keep our Netflix subscription!

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