Unglued Mama Mornings {giveaway included}

Today I am excited to have guest Lysa TerKeurst here at The Better Mom.  Here is a little bit about Lysa:

Lysa TerKeurst is a New York Times bestselling author, National Speaker, and President of Proverbs 31 Ministries. You can read her daily blog at www.LysaTerKeurst.com or hear her encouragement through the Proverbs 31 Ministries’ radio program played on over 1200 outlets. She loves that the first four letters of Messiah spell a “mess.” All of the messages Lysa speaks and writes about come from her awareness of what a mess she can be. Most days you can find her writing from her sticky farm table in North Carolina where she lives with her husband Art, her five priority blessings named Jackson, Mark, Hope, Ashley, and Brooke, 3 dogs and a mouse that refuses to leave her kitchen.

Lysa writes:

As the new school year approaches I’m making a bold commitment: No more unglued mama mornings. I want our mornings to go better this year with less frustration, yelling, and chaos.

I started thinking about this last spring when we had a string of really hard mornings. One day, as I pulled up to the school, the atmosphere inside the car was thick with tension. Not wanting the last words spoken to my daughter to be harsh, I tried to change the course of our conversation before she headed into her day. “Listen, I love you. I’m sorry we had a rough morning.”  “We always have rough mornings,” she shot back before slamming the car door.

Nothing makes a mom feel more successful than a little dialogue like that.

As I rubbed the stabbing feeling in my chest, I thought, “Something has got to change. Each day I promise myself I won’t yell at the kids. But each morning something triggers me and I just lose it.”

Ever been there?

It’s not like we wake up in the mood to get frustrated with our people, right? I mean honestly, I usually wake up in a pretty good mood. But then the stress of getting everyone ready and to school on time makes the crazy creep in.

This one can’t find her shoes. That one needs a report printed and we have no ink. The bread for sandwiches is still at the grocery store because I forgot to buy it yesterday. And to top it all off, I have no cash to give the kids so they can buy lunch at school.

The whining. The complaining. The feeling that I can’t ever get it all together. It all escalates and sends me over the edge.

Well, I want this school year to be different. I want to be like our key verse today: “made new in the attitude of my mind.” The Greek word for “made new” is kaino. One of its definitions is uncommon. I want to be an uncommon calm in the midst of chaos and an example of peace for my kids in a world of pressure. For that to happen, I came up with a plan:

Tell the world to wait.

When I wake up, my mind is like a dry sponge. What I soak up first will saturate me most deeply. If I don’t want to be consumed with the stresses of my day, I must soak up what will renew my mind instead — God’s Word. Even if it’s only for 5 minutes, I’ve got to put the world on hold until I’ve checked in with God.

Remember I’m managing blessings.

If I want my attitude to be made new, I must keep things in perspective. While my frustrations seem big, things like lost shoes and less than perfect lunches aren’t big problems. They are small aggravations that come with managing blessings.

Let my kids own their ‘irresponsibilities.

My kid’s irresponsibility will not become my emergency. I need to communicate my expectations so they know they’re going to have to own the consequences of their choices. For example, if they wait until the last minute to print their report and the printer has no ink, they’ll have to print it at school or turn it in late. Either way, I can’t own this situation and let it throw me into frantic, fix-it mode. I let  the consequences of my kid’s choices scream, so I don’t have to.

All of this is going to take some intentionality and I seriously doubt I’ll do it perfectly. But I’m excited about trying. I’m excited to “put on my new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” Which is a fancy way of saying I’m excited to have less unglued mama mornings and a lot more peace this school year.

Do you desire more calm this school year?

Blessings,

Lysa

 

Lysa TerKeurst’s new book, Unglued, goes to the heart of the matter and helps equip you with ways to choose calm in the chaos. Click here to order your copy.

 

 

 

We have two of Lysa’s books we are giving away here at The Better Mom.  Enter with the Rafflecopter below.

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Comments

  1. Trisha Goddard says

    I enjoyed hearing Lysa share on klove and now, when I’m ready to blow or things just aren’t going right, immediately I tell myself “don’t become unglued!” :) Thank you for your ministry and as a mama of 3 and a wife, I look forward to being a part of the 5 day challenge with klove and reading your book in the near future!

  2. Renee says

    I.would.love.to.win.this.book.My.kids.are.4,2.and.a.newborn.(he.will.be.one.week.old.tomorrow).and.I.would.love.to.learn.now,how.to.be.a.better.more.relaxed.mom!!!

  3. says

    Wonderfully insightful article. I’m sure the book will hit a little too close to home here. Unglued seems to be a fairly common state of affairs for me navigating ages 14, 12, 11 and 5 …. despite daily good intentions. Thanks for the reminder….

  4. autumn says

    would love to check this book out I have a lot of problems wth my son, he was diagnosed with cancer at 8 months old he is now 4 praise God, but he has a lot of behavioral issues due to my lack of being able to discipline in a hospital room when he was confined to bed. so now that he is out, i am finding it very had to get him to respect and listen.. so this would be very helpful!

  5. Liz says

    Lysa. thank you! Sometimes I forget that there are other moms who are going throught the same things as me. As a mom of 4 , my mornings are hectic and it is easy for me to veer offcourse and get preoccupied and start raising my voice and become unglued.

  6. Rachel C. says

    I “solved” this problem by having my husband get the kids ready :-) He’s so much more patient than I am!

  7. says

    I don’t have to deal with the pressures of the morning school run yet, but it’s only a few years away, would be great to get my head in order before then! Even with just one 18-month-old to deal with, mornings can still be hectic!

  8. Tiffany says

    I find myself in this situation, when we are running late and my daughter is moving at her typical snails pace. I yell and then I feel horrible but the damage is done.

  9. mirella says

    we used to have unglued mornings, but this year we decided we weren’t going to do that again. so we made up a schedule of things that needed to be done and by what time they needed to be finished. Also my daughter picks out her clothes and shoes the night before and prepare lunch. Now our mornings are so smooth and i don’t feel like my last words were harsh in any way.

  10. Donna P says

    I have sooo loved all that I’ve been reading about “Unglued”, the first K-Love show was FAB too, my fav part is that we are an “Imperfect Progress”, that gave me a sigh of relief, my need to strive for perfection dropped!!
    Looking forward to what others have to say.
    Thankyou

  11. Gail says

    I can so relate to this. I would love to be a more peaceful example to my kids in the morning. I like the idea of letting them own their irresponsibilities. I’ll be working on that one!

  12. Holly B says

    So far with a 3 and 6 year old we don’t have a lot of morning chaos, but I know that it will grow to be that way! Thanks for the great words and I hope I win! :)

  13. Katie Haney says

    My son is only 6 weeks old, but already I am thinking of how I want him to grow up and how I want to be a godly example to him. Thank you for such a convicting and encouraging post!

  14. cindi says

    This would be so amazing to be able to accomplish! Just this morning, even, I was struggling with my children before school. Makes me very sad that our mornings have to be so chaotic and off to a rotten start. :(

  15. Heather says

    Imagine how much better my kids would feel when they walked out the door each morning if we started our mornings in a more calm manner! This is something I’m striving to achieve this school year!

  16. esvard says

    Thank you for this, it came at the perfect time for me! So true! I hope to win this book, but if not, I will be buying it!

  17. Jules Rothacher says

    I am so excited to have a chance to win this book! I missed the klove thingy the other day bc we were traveling and was super sad.

  18. Mrscarolinek says

    I just sent both of my toddlers to bed in a desperate attempt to avoid screaming at them. This totally hit the mark for me this morning! With a 3yr old and a 2yr old and one on the way, coming unglued has become more “normal” than I would like to admit!

  19. Elizabeth Hall says

    I have three stepsons and one 19-month-old. I have come unglued more times than I can count and many more times than I care to admit. I can totally relate to this article and would love to read her book!

  20. Deanna says

    I’d love more calm! I have some things down in a good routine but I just need to finish rest of the way. Starting my day with purpose has helped sooo much.

  21. Cbud72 says

    So helpful to know that I am not alone with the struggle of being an unglued Momma on school mornings. I personally have found that preparing my kids the night before and making sure they have everything set out and ready solves so many of the frustrations that push me into that unglued Momma. Takes discipline on my part when I am the most tired, the night before, but definitely pays off when the mornings run smoothly.

  22. Elizabeth says

    I really enjoy Proverbs 31 Ministry and this book (and this post!) really hit home as I also find my most stressful time of day in the morning rush. I’ve been getting up early which has helped (to pray and read the Word and focus) and am thankful for the opportunity to win this book to apply it to the rest of my life.

  23. Amanda B says

    We homeschool, and can definitely have some Unglued moments as we all try to get to our places on time… Plus, with 4 of our 7 being preschoolers like can get hairy… I’ve deleted my facebook account and am so excited about focusing on my blessings and not wasting my days away.

  24. says

    I totally understand where you are coming from. As a mom who has a full-time job, and growing a biz part-time I have no time to be frantic and frazzled. In fact I hate it. What has helped me was implementing a night time routine where I get everything ready the night before so I”m not all over the place in the morning. Also knowing that I must be in bed no later than 10:30 in order to have had enough sleep to feel and be productive.

    It does take some time and effort to make things a habit and I try not to be too hard on myself when I get off track.
    Thanks for Sharing!!
    Felicia

  25. grace says

    Amen to the Working Housewife! I also plan on leaving 15min before I need to and that way all thoae last minute things are taken care of and we are on time. But not always perfect with this

  26. Michelle at Teagan's Travels says

    I think Lysa is totally tapped into my life somehow. She always publishes a book on a topic my heart needs! Would love to win this one as I have more unglued mommy moments than I would like!

  27. Kara Norris says

    Great give away! I love how you are trying to get your kids to own their irresponsibility. We dont want to see our kids fail, but they need to learn the hard way sometimes!

  28. Shannon Wallace says

    I ordered two copies…one for myself and one for a dear friend who is also struggling with these issues. This is one book I cannot wait to dive into and see what God lays on my heart! If I win, I’m going to give the other two copies away and start a mini-Bible study group! Thank you!

  29. Andrea Hamilton says

    I just came across this book on {in}courage too. I am interested to read it, because that is what feel like most of my mornings are – unglued.

  30. Jess Jensen says

    Oh man… I think I might have been the first one to sign up for no more unglued mama mornings! Guilty mama here!

  31. Michelle Augustine says

    This books sounds like something we could all use. I can recall many of the same conversations with my daughter. Thanks for the giveaway!

  32. Jen F. says

    I could have written this blog post…at least, the unglued portion of it!!! Thank you for sharing your plan for becoming the uncommon calm admist the morning chaos. I must add this book to my library!

  33. says

    I have way too many unglued moments when it comes to my daily interactions with my children, thank you for the great article that reminded me that we all have these moments!

  34. Jaime says

    I relate all-to-easily! And, the mornings I commit my responses to the Lord and purpose to respond in peace help my children to choose peace themselves better too. Thanks for sharing this!

  35. Angelina says

    My kids aren’t school aged yet, but I still definitely have those unglued mornings! Waking up and getting in the Word first thing sure does make such a difference. This looks like a great book I’m excited to read it =) !

  36. Roseanne says

    Like, Like and Like!!!!! Love the thoughts on letting your kids consequences scream for you!!! Perfectly put!!!

  37. Jemme says

    Thank you for your honesty and transparency. I constantly feel like I am the only one who doesn’t have it all together. Isolation and condemnation are such ugly tools the enemy tries to use. I’m so thankful you to have a God who is way more powerful!! I appreciate you, Lays, reminding me there is always hope for things change!

  38. Nikki says

    Would love to win a copy. Tired of being unglued. Had a little episode yesterday. Now a couple kids mad at me. Jet lag didn’t help the situation either. Foreseeing some unglued mornings next week as 1 out of 3 is going to school while the other 2 are being homeschooled.

  39. Christine says

    Great article – I am also trying to remain patient during these chaotic mornings! Thanks for the inspiration.

  40. Jessica M. says

    Just came unglued w/ my two because they were acting silly and not getting through the things that need to get done in the morning. Silly in the morning makes me come unglued! I’d love to read this book!

  41. tashena says

    Such a wonderful reminder that a lost shoe or less ghan perfect lunch isnt an emergency. It isnt the end of the world…otr the day…just part of it. It shouldnt rule or ruin our day. There are blessings to see…which we will miss if we are stuck on what went “wrong.”

  42. says

    I absolutely need this book. Like, setting money aside we don’t have for this book… I have MS, and there are so many elements to my day that frustrate me and leave me nothing left but to yell. It’s hard for me to focus when I’m in pain, or have something happen that causes me to remember just how fragile I am, but I know there is NO excuse to allowing myself to sin in anger and become “Unglued”. :(

  43. Dawn says

    Thank you so much!!! As a Mom to 4 blessings who are starting school next week and I’m starting a new job, I am already stressed about our mornings!! Ready to be intentional with my attitude!!

  44. cheryl says

    This book sounds like something I have been looking for. I find myself coming “unglued” a lot. But I have seen a trend that the days that I get in my bible and prayer I don’t come “unglued”. Amazing how simple it sounds but yet howl hard it really is!

  45. Sarah says

    “Something has got to change. Each day I promise myself I won’t yell at the kids. But each morning something triggers me and I just lose it.” Oh my goodness, does this describe my days! I bet I could glean a lot of knowledge from this book. I’m excited to read it!

  46. Kristina Mete says

    I love Lysa and love this message. She is so real and so perfect for fellow Christ followers who find themselves constantly ‘messing up’! It’s nice to know we’re not alone and to hear her ways of working through it!

  47. Sarah D says

    Excellent perspective as we begin the school year. This is the first year my kids are in school; we homeschooled up until now. So far, I’m trying to encourage them to have everything ready the night before (including having clothes laid out) but it’s only the first week!

  48. Brandi says

    I still have young ones, but this is such an important reminder about all times of the day! It’s easy to get caught up in life and become unglued with little ones! Thanks for the post!

  49. emilyanndoss says

    Our little one isn’t in school yet, but the 1st thing in the mornings sponge part really spoke to me. Hoping to stop yelling and also to soak up the word each morning. :)

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