Attitude Adjustment {for Mom}

We all have bad days. But what happens when bad days turn into bad weeks, and bad months? What happens when you can’t shake the bad attitude you’ve somehow grown into?

When mom has a bad attitude, it rubs off on the children and soon enough, the days turn into a regular, sour lifestyle. We must rid ourselves of the ‘tude if we want to live and raise our children in a [more] peaceful home environment.

The first thing we need to do is

Consider the Cause and Recognize the Solution

Sleep Deprivation–Maybe you’re sleep deprived from having a baby or health problems. This could lead to some major mentality mess ups. I remember after my 3rd child was born, he would not sleep. Period. Sleep deprivation was so bad for me that I slipped into a state of depression. I couldn’t help it. My body wasn’t getting the rest it needed therefore my mentality was not functioning normally. I was constantly hard on myself and critical all the time. When I finally decided to sleep train my son, I could not believe the difference in my mentality and my attitude. It was like I woke up from a fog!

Poor Diet–If you’re not eating a diet rich in protein, produce, and healthy grains, it can also have an effect on your mood. Too many sugary foods or other foods lacking important vitamins, will not help your body and mind function optimally. Having a piece of fruit in the morning is important to get your blood sugar level up which helps prevent early morning mood swings. Seriously, don’t skip this or blow it off. Not only is it good for you, but it’s good for the children who are watching you. Oh, don’t forget the water; and lots of it!

Selfish Ambitions–You’d be surprised at how often this is a root cause of so many of our attitude problems. {Ask me how I know}. We can form an attitude when our plans become messed up, when our children interfere with what we want to do. We must hold to our plans and expectations loosely. When a child needs correction in the middle of the supermarket, we shouldn’t add to the stress through anger and frustration. Yes, it would have been easier to just get through the shopping trip with no issues, but it’s almost never the ideal, is it? Embrace that reality and your expectations are no longer out of reach.

The next thing we need to do is

Be Intentional About Change

If we don’t keep this in the front of our mind, if we aren’t conscious about it, we aren’t going to change. We literally need to be deliberate about changing our attitude and that usually means changing our mindsets about something. It might even mean changing our plans.

Recognize children are not and will not be perfect. Ever.

One of my biggest attitude issues stemmed from the false belief that my children should be perfect. I know, it’s silly isn’t it? Lame even. But that was my reality, regardless of how unrealistic it was!

The word “perfect” may not have been the exact word etched in my head. It was more like, “100% obedience, 100% of the time” or “No whining should ever occur” (as long as I was never giving into it). Guess what? That simply is not the case. Even when I never gave in, my kids would still whine. They’re kids. And they are imperfect. Like me.

I challenge you to take a deep look today to see where your own bad attitude might stem from–and be intentional about change!

Joy in Christ,
Christin – Joyful Mothering

Image(s): FreeDigitalPhotos.net
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About Christin

Christin is wife to a compassionate, God-fearing man, and mother to 2 gracious girls and 3 busy boys. She tries to see the beauty in the simple things and appreciates a good cup of coffee. She is learning to live everyday with joy, find gratitude in the mundane, and speak words of grace. You can find Christin writing through her days on Joyful Mothering, helping women in blogging and conversing on twitter.

  • http://themarriagechecklist.com/ Dr. Ann

    Great post Christin! I’m awake before everyone this morning, and this window is my time to get my thoughts right before God. The day will go forth more gracefully when, as you wrote, I can be intentional about the attitude of my heart.
    Blessings,
    Ann

  • http://www.toodarnhappy.com/ Kim Hall

    Hmmm, selfish ambitions. That hits right at the heart! How many times I scolded my daughters when they were little when the transgression was actually my own. I didn’t allow for the time for little feet to walk the distance, curious minds to bring the movement to a snail’s pace, and impromptu conversations to happen.

    I have also found from my own experience that we often don’t realize that we are sleep deprived or that our eating habits are literally and figuratively weighing us down. It isn’t until someone else leads us out of the heavy darkness into the surprising “incredible lightness of being” that results from a better diet and quality sleep. “Oh, my,” we say—our eyes open in surprise and our mouths formed into a delightful, silly grin—at how wonderful we feel after healthy rest and refreshment.

    I actually surrendered yesterday afternoon when I literally couldn’t keep my eyes open. I laid down for a quick 20-30 minute nap, and awoke 2 hours later. I was shocked and annoyed that I had let that much valuable work time slip through my hands. Later, as I recounted the story to my hubbie, he simply replied, “Hon, if you didn’t need it you wouldn’t have slept that long. I’m glad you got some rest.”

    Thanks for reminding us all how valuable taking care of ourselves is!

  • Dayna

    I have really struggled with this lately and after it happens feels so guilty because most of the time my children are just trying to get my attention and I’m in the middle of marking something off my list for the day. I’m trying very hard to be more gentle and kind because my 5 year old is really picking up on the attitude too.

  • Jessi

    Thank you Christin! I’ve been struggling with this lately since my son is teething and I feel as if I may be going insane listening to his fussing. It’s nice to be reminded that I’m not the only mother that has ever needed an attitude adjustment. I appreciate your words of wisdom! You’ve truly helped me to change my attitude for the day! Thank you!

  • Tamara

    Wow, this is such my struggle and my sin. Thank you for the encouragement and correction.

  • http://www.joyfilleddays.com/ Sarah Beals

    Loved this post, Christin. I think we were thinking along the same lines today, as I wrote something similar. I loved the Selfish Ambition. Guilty of that— My plans, my time frame. Me, me, me. :)

  • Trish

    This post is an answer to a desperate prayer! I just began homeschooling, and I am trying to make changes in my life – becoming more organized, becoming less lazy, and overall doing what I can to be the wife and mommy God created me to be. I have had much success with God’s help, but the number one place I’m still struggling is with grumpiness. I know the root issue is my sinful desire to be in control. Every morning, I pray and ask God to help me give control over to him, but for 34 years I have been demanding my own way, and I honestly say “Amen,” and then turn around and yell at a child for not following my expectations. Disciplining my kids in a loving way feels so far out of my grasp. I wake up completely motivated to do so, but I fail over and over again. For example, the baby wakes up first in the morning. As I get him breakfast the rest of the kids slowly trickle down the stairs. They know I expect them to be ready to start math at 9am. They need to get dressed, brush teeth, get a few chores done, etc., so the following conversation is typical of every morning, “Please get going on your tasks, Sweetie.” “Keep your hands and feet to yourself, Buddie, or you’ll have to have a time out.” “What are you doing? You’re never going to get your tasks done!” “Oh, clean that up! UGH!!! I told you not to eat your cereal in the living room! UGH!!!! Get the baby, he’s getting into the milk spill! Hurry and get a rag!” “Hey, I told you to keep your hands to yourself! You are getting a TIME OUT!!!” And on and on, day in and day out. I don’t know how to break free from the grumpy, crabby, sour, demanding, unloving, unkind, and very much un-Christlike attitude that my sweet children have to live with. The worst part is that I see their hearts turning sour, too. I know there is hope and God can change my heart, but it feels so hopeless!!!

    • TrinaC

      Hi Trish, what worked for me was praying more to see God’s blessings, to see the world (my part of it included) through His eyes. Control is a tough thing. It’s hard to let go. But if you are focused on God’s heart and mind, you will have no choice but to change your own attitude. I know this from experience, because I was like you….seeming to always be yelling, correcting, demanding…and making my child sad. But now I focus on “quality” of our time and what God wants us to learn from each other. Much easier to get along now! Blessings!

  • TrinaC

    lol I too believed my child should be perfect and never misbehave, simply because I didn’t want him to. Sigh…I have since embraced the reality that things will not go my way, but God’s way. :)

  • leiah

    Thanks for writing about sleep. I need my sleep, but often feel guilty saying it. I know there are moms who get less sleep who survive, but if I am exhausted, I have negative thoughts and outlook. I sometimes feel guilty about taking naps (plus people then think I am pregnant again), but they really help! I have decided that it is what works for me and my son…I just struggle with mentioning it because I sound lazy (in my own ears).

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