5 Ways to Overcome the Yelling Mom

Sometimes it’s hard for Christian moms. We have the flesh that we’re dying to.  Once we become mothers we’re not suddenly delivered from every aspect of our issues. I have found that motherhood has been used greatly by the Lord to surface my junk. Any flaw or area that I have needed refinement has been magnified. Motherhood is the most beautiful gift, and at the same time can be a painful catalyst into seeing ourselves.

Sometimes, I’m ugly.

And certainly none of us want to be her. You know, the yelling mom. The desire of our heart is to be gentle, peaceful, patient, loving. Uninvited she shows up at my house. I don’t know how I let her in. Along the way my soft answers increased in volume. My first clue is I begin to hear changes in how my children are speaking to one another. If they are snapping and yelling, I know that it all began with me.

5 Ways to Overcome the Yelling Mom

Sleep and Time with the Lord: I am the queen of only needing 6 hours per night of sleep. Even if you are a mom who requires the short side of sleep, or a mom like me when I’m pregnant who needs 10 hours per night + a 3 hour nap; if your words have changed from gentle to harsh – assessing your current sleeping patterns is a good place to start.  Right along with sleep is time with the Lord.  If all you can do is 15-minutes a day during this season, make the most of that time. I have a free 31-Day Bible Reading Plan for Moms that several moms have reported great for their limited devotional times.

pink flower2 by lady_jess, on Pix-O-Sphere

Water:  If I’m getting snappy, short, or find myself yelling, it may be because I’ve had my morning cup of coffee (or 2), but where’s my water? Since I noticed my tendency to only drink coffee in the morning I’ve started to make myself finish a bottle of water before I fill my coffee cup. Yes, it keeps the bathroom trips hopping in the morning, but it’s well worth it.  I also keep cold water bottles ready to go in the fridge.  Helping myself think ahead on water makes a big difference in my world.

 I’m such a better mom with water in my veins.

Schedule Yourself Online: I love the gift and use of the online world in the days that we live in. But, I know myself. I get cranky, snappy, and just plain weird if I’ve been online too long. We have our homeschool life schedule, but as an online work at home mom I also schedule myself. My goal is to be done with my online work, have posts, deals, tweets, and facebook scheduled, and be offline by 8:30 a.m. My Free Homeschool Deals site runs as if I’m sitting on my computer all day; truth be told it’s creative scheduling. I stick to this schedule during the day by having my online check-in times on our daily scheduling board for my children to see. And yes, they hold me accountable. They see that mom will be on the computer ‘checking business’ from 11:45-12:15 and again from 4:30-4:45.

If you have business and/or blogging that you have to check on during the day maybe you can schedule little time chunks out. If you’re tempted to check stats after breakfast, or quickly look at your inbox, instead of those becoming a pressured feeling  - you can rest that you have that window of time scheduled.

Snuggle, Read, Get Outside & Play: When in doubt, snuggle and read. Have you had a rough start to the day? Snuggle and read. Are you feeling pressured over adult concerns and overlooking the sweet joys infront of you? Get outside and play. Simple thrills, such as pushing a child on a tire swing, or picking wild flowers, can put life back in perspective.

Basket of Gold by tww, on Pix-O-Sphere

Lead with Love: The Lord is constantly reminding me to lead with love. I’ll find myself speaking this throughout the day...lead with love, Jamerrill. Lead these little ones with love….lead with love.

We all have our rough seasons, stretching seasons, trails and errors. If you find yourself not using your nice words ask for forgiveness. Confess to your children that Jesus isn’t done with you yet, and admit that you’re learning too. Little by little, bit by bit, us mothers are growing right along with our children.

Blessings,

Jamerrill

SPECIAL NOTE: For one week only (expires 7/29/12) Jamerrill is offering her latest eBook, Boyschooling: The Fine Art of Homeschooling Boys for FREE; plus she’s offering a $3.00 – off coupon code to purchase her other eBook Help for the Heart of the Homeschool Mom for only $0.99!  CLICK HERE to find out more!

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About Jamerrill Stewart

Jamerrill Stewart has been married to her best friend Travis for nearly 15 years. They make their home in the gorgeous Shenandoah Valley where they are raising 6 beautiful babies (baby, 2, 3, 6, 9, 12) for Jesus. Jamerrill has a passion to help families afford the homeschool life; she does so each day by providing homeschool freebies, deals, and encouragement at Free Homeschool Deals. Join the Free Homeschool Deals growing community of 21,000+ families on Facebook. You can also join the happy homeschool pinning on Pinterest! And sign-up for the free eBook: Homeschooling for Free and Frugal.

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  • Blair Allrn

    Great post Jamerrill! I enjoyed the part about online. I get that way too and my iPhone has made it worse. I’ve GOT to get better about that!!

  • http://twitter.com/UpsideDownHS UpsideDownHomeschool

    Thank you for this! I love how you schedule your online time. I need to do that, tensions definitely run higher while Mommy is sitting at the computer.

  • http://twitter.com/MacRakMom TheMacRak

    Ouch. My father is a football coach, so you could say I come by this one honestly! It is a constant crucifying of the flesh issue for me. Thank you for the practical advice and reminders.

  • http://fruitinseason.blogspot.com Christine- Fruit in Season

    Great post!! Thanks Jamerrill. :)

  • http://twitter.com/DeniseLThompson Denise In Bloom

    Love this post Jamerrill, great practical tips. Thank you for sharing.

  • Lesleigh

    Very encouraging. I had a temper flare last night, and my 3 year old daughter told me this morning that if I would say sorry, she would love me forever. Made my heart ache. Will definitely be taking your words to heart. Thank you!

  • 123mommy

    thank you so much the timing is perfect for me!! God Bless you :)

  • MommyBrainTLC

    This was the most encouraging part of today’s post for me: “We all have our rough seasons, stretching seasons, trails and errors. If you find yourself not using your nice words ask for forgiveness. Confess to your children that Jesus isn’t done with you yet, and admit that you’re learning too. Little by little, bit by bit, us mothers are growing right along with our children.” I often get impatient and snappy and sarcastic, and right after I respond this way I immediately feel like kicking myself in the tushie! Oh, I just feel so awful – like such a failure at times. I’m glad to know I’m not the only Mom who goes through these feelings. I’m glad to know God is still working on me. I just pray that my kids will see the work in me, that I will continue to strive to do the things I know I ought to do, and that I will bear fruit. I also pray that when I fail God’s grace will shower over me and that His grace will be poured into my kids so that they can forgive me, and learn from my mistakes too. That’s the part I am concerned about – will my kids “turn out ok” despite my mistakes, or will they end up “totally messed up” because of me? I need some words of wisdom in this area to help me focus and keep moving forward in this season of child raising. Thanks Jamerill

  • Bonnie

    This is a definitely needed post for me! I have let Her in and the Yelling Mom has been here waaayyyy too long. I have noticed it in my own children but have struggled to always lead with love. My oldest is 4 and is in that stage of questioning, testing, questioning more and we have had some rough days. I also feel the pressure of adult concerns and that affects the home as well. I appreciate the practical tips that you have listed. I think the most important one for our home is to just get outside and play. When the day is not going well, I need to learn to leave the cleaning behind ( a huge challenge for me), and just get outside- even for only 15 minutes. It really does make it better.

  • Sharon

    Awesome post! Great reminders! Needing it today…we’re actually having a good day but my 5 yr.old wants on the laptop now and doesn’t want me reading this article…I was getting snappy… :-( Very timely and convicting :-) “Grace, grace, God’s grace…..grace that is greater than all my sin” He is good sisters! Be blessed!

  • Sharon

    When I’m having an off day and being a bit louder/short with my toddler than I should be, I often think of other Mom’s I know and wonder what they’d think if they saw me acting in such a way. It makes me feel better to know I’m not the only Mom that loses her cool! My daughter and I both have much better days if we can get outside to the park in the early morning. Sometimes it’s hard to get out the door before it gets too hot, but it’s certainly worth it. Oh, and the sleep thing is huge for me! I can usually do alright for the first 1-2 days with little sleep, but after that, I start to get very cranky.

  • Jenifer

    Great tips! God is constantly correcting me about being a “yeller.”

  • http://pumpkinvines.wordpress.com/ Jsurrender12

    Just what I needed today.

  • http://www.facebook.com/sheebam01 Sheeba Mathew

    Nice one

  • http://littlewomen21.blogspot.com/ LittleWomen21

    How perfectly true what causes “yelling mom” – especially the excessive online time – and I love your list of suggestions! When in doubt, snuggle and read. Love it!

  • http://twitter.com/Musicrazy Elizabeth Eldridge

    Perfectly practical. I love it!!!

  • Elaine H

    Thanks for this post…I’ve found myself as of late being more of a Yelling mom and I don’t like it. I am going to try your suggestions!!

  • http://www.fieldstonehilldesign.com {darlene}

    LOVED this post Jamerrill! Thank you for this encouragement, and the reminder to care for yourself. And thank you for the book freebie. Off to download!!!

  • Daphna Wilker

    Great read…. I will think on this one often I know already lol.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mary-Brigham/1666839486 Mary Brigham

    Because I grew up in a yelling house, I entered wifehood thinking that my “inherited” tendency to yell was just part of my natural charm. It wasn’t until I became a mother did God finally get through to me that “natural” doesn’t always mean “good”. Dying to self. Literally. Rejecting a part of one’s nature as flawed, and submitting to God’s plan. I recognize now (thank you, God!!) that God designed me to be passionate; He did NOT, under any circumstances, give me permission to misuse that passion and hurt others around me, others that he specifically gave to me to nurture and love. I get this post, Jamerrill! Thanks for sharing!

  • alison

    This really struck a cord for me! Printing it out so I can be reminded of it often.

  • http://faithfulmomof9.wordpress.com/ Sylvia Phillips

    Thanks Jamerrill! even us older moms can (and need) to learn some new tricks!

  • Amy Matkovich

    Thansk for the encouragement!

  • Karina

    Thank you for this encouraging post. I have just recently resolved to stop yelling at my kids, or raising my voice, and the road is tough! I can totally relate to the online time, and sleep time… haven’t thought there might be a connection between not getting enough water, but it’s worth trying! :)

    http://graceforthat.blogspot.com

  • Debra

    thank you

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