3 Ways I Am Preparing For Motherhood

I believe the thought of one day being a mother rests in the back of every woman’s mind.

However, growing up I never gave that thought room in my mind to develop.  The idea of having to endure the pain of childbirth struck fear into my heart.  Even as a wife I tried to convince myself that I did not want children, and the intimacy struggle I faced in my marriage was enough to keep that desire far from me.  Inadequacy as a wife overwhelmed me; I couldn’t imagine how my insecurities would amplify if we had children. (Read more about my intimacy struggle on my about page.)

After 5 years of marriage and God fulfilling intimacy in our relationship, I began to soften towards the idea of building our family.  A yearning to have a child rose up in my heart and not just mine, but my husband’s as well.

The more often we mentioned the blessing a child would bring into our lives, the greater our desire to extend our family became.  My husband and I began to pray about God’s will for us to have children; it wasn’t long after that I found out I was pregnant!  We are expecting our precious baby November 8th of this year.

Throughout my pregnancy I cannot seem to satisfy a specific reoccurring thought:  What kind of mother will I be?

Beneath that question resides a variety of other questions, including many of which stem from a heart of fear.

Instead of dwelling on my insecurities or obvious faults I hope not to pass down to my children, I am choosing to have faith that I will fulfill my role as a God-fearing good mother.  I am determined to live my life in a way that will promote a healthy family, reflect God’s ways and leave a legacy of virtue through my children.  However, I realize that I must be intentional about preparing myself as a mother.

Here are 3 ways to help prepare me (or you) for motherhood:

1. Read

Digging into God’s Word is one of the best ways to gain wisdom and understanding on topics that are relevant to how we should live our lives, including marriage and parenthood.  The Bible is a manual for how we ought to love, interact and teach our children.

There are also shelves of parenting books out there filled with great information on child rearing.  It is vital that we are willing to pick them up and make time to scan them so that we will be able to develop knowledgeable opinions on what to do or what not to do as a parent.

Mom Blogs are another resource packed full of relevant, relatable content.  A Blog post is generally easier to read than committing to an entire book, highlighting necessary and encouraging matter.  They also provide a ton of personal experiences, how-to’s, recipes, devotionals and more, treasures for any woman searching to better her family.

2. Connect

Befriend another woman – or a few women – who have experience in motherhood; someone who has a great reputation with her children.  Do not be afraid to open up, be vulnerable and ask the intimate questions of childbirth or parenting.  Having a friend you can trust and admire will affirm your approach to your children.  There is something special about this kind of relationship that I believe every woman needs.

Check out some online forums.  This is a great way to get connected with other moms, especially over specific topics.  A forum is a great tool that provides easy access for anyone to ask questions and share experiences.

3. Apply

So often people read a scripture in the Bible, stumble upon rich parenting advice or perhaps come across an organic solution to cleaning methods, yet hesitate to put them into practice.  If we are going to be good moms who set an example by how we live, it is crucial that we apply the principles or solutions we discover and agree with, the most important being God’s values.  Do not procrastinate or wait for an easier window to change, just do it!

These are 3 ways that I am confident will prepare mother’s for the greatest blessings we could ever experience in our life.

Do you know of any more ways that could prepare women for motherhood?  Please add your contributions in the comments below.

- Jennifer Smith     www.unveiledwife.com

 photo credit: @unveiledwife

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About Unveiled Wife

Jennifer married her best friend Aaron in January of 2007. They jumped straight into missions living in three different states and three different countries during their first two years of marriage. Her passion for missions, writing, and marriage led her to create Unveiled Wife, where she blogs about being a wife with every intention to inspire other wives to develop God-centered marriages. Her and her husband are expecting their first child later this year. You can find Jennifer on Twitter and join the Unveiled Wife Community on Facebook.

  • Ladams

    Relax, really, the pressure to do it “right” is yuck. Mothering is personal, a book or 5steps to….can’t tell you how to do it. Your baby is uniquely yours.
    Listen to the voice inside that tells you what to do instead of conflicting outside messages.
    Know you were made for this.
    Enjoy! It seems there has been much to overcome to get you to this point. Bless you!

    • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled Wife

      Thank you! I agree every mother & child relationship is unique! I am so excited to be experiencing motherhood!

  • Molly

    I second the previous comment. I’m all for doing research, asking for advice from *experienced* parents, but at the end of the day you know your baby better than anyone else. Be confident in that, because if you’re not everyone else will pick up on it and tell you what you ought to do. It’s one of the first things I learned as a mom.

    • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled Wife

      Thanks for sharing Molly! I agree that it is important to be confident in knowing my child and mothering accordingly… I just wanted to encourage the moms who do need a little guidance or advice who are sometimes afraid to ask around!

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  • Peggy Spencer

    I agree with the previous two comments.
    One thing I’ve learned along the way is that God knows the perfect child for us. He gives us the right child, at the right time. A child we are perfectly able to parent, in our imperfect ways. By all means, read the Bible, I believe that is the BEST source for us as mothers, and people period.
    I just stumbled upon your blog, and look forward to following you, as I’m pregnant with our 3rd and due about the same time as you!

    God Bless,
    Peggy

    • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled Wife

      That is so awesome Peggy! Congratulations on having your 3rd!! Thank you for reassuring me that “God gives us the right child, at the right time.” – Beautiful!

    • keltrinswife

      I love what you said about God giving us the child for us. I feel so inadequate most days and wonder if I really am what is best for my son

      • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled Wife

        You are Jen!!!

  • Sharon

    I was terrified at the thought of having children, but it wasn’t really an option not to as it was a nonnegotiable for my husband. He was determined to have kids. Three boys actually! The Lord has been so good to us. He gave us a girl first, which I think we really needed. We needed our hearts to be softened and to realize our expectations for any child were over the top. Our daughter is a toddler now and we have another baby on the way. It”s been amazing to me how much of being a Mom has come naturally. Now, I certainly have lots of moments where I don’t know what to do etc. but honestly, a lot has been instinctual.

    • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled Wife

      Congratulations! Children are such a blessing! Thank you for sharing this encouragement that it is mostly instinctual!

  • keltrinswife

    Learn from mistakes and if you try something that works for one child and doesn’t for you, YOU did nothing wrong, just try something else.
    Don’t do what I do and compare your child and mothering skills to others. I fight discouragement daily seeing posts from friends on how advanced their kids are (and admit, I cry).
    You guys will do great

    • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled Wife

      Comparison can be dangerous! Continue to trust God in your talent and abilities and your child’s!! You are a fabulous mom :)

  • Sniffy6

    This was a very nice piece to read. Even when you are not a new mom for the very first time it helps to be reminded to connect with God for parenting help. I am due with our second child the same week as you are and I am very much looking forward to this new blessing from God! Congratulations!!

    • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled Wife

      That is great! Congrats on having your second!!

  • http://www.theworkinghousewife.com/ The Working Housewife

    Because you are thinking about all of this you will be an awesome mom. If I may suggest one book that I read regarding childbirth. It’s called Supernatural Childbirth by Jackie Mize. This book has helped me to overcome the “idea” of pain in childbirth. But anyway, continue to be bless and thanks for sharing. You will help a lot of women going through the same things.

    • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled Wife

      Thank you so much for your recommendation! I will look it up!

  • http://thechuppies.blogspot.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

    So happy for you Jennifer!!! Congratulations!!! :)
    And welcome to The Better Mom writing team which I love!

    I love that you are thinking ahead and using this time to prepare for your little one…
    And I very much agree with several of the comments above–
    God has SO used parenting to refine me, to draw me to Him, to help me see how much I NEED Him and our kiddos have pulled me towards prayer more than anything or anyone else.
    God has also used our chiildren to humble me, to teach me that walking with Him is not about formulas (especially when it comes to parenting) and to show me how powerful His Word is.

    Your three steps to prepare are great!
    Having friendships with other like-minded-a-little-down-the-road-moms (whose kiddos we also enjoy) have been crucial. Finding people I can be vulnerabe with, bounce ideas/questions off of and who I know are honestly praying for our children–has been HUGE!

    On a personal note…we also struggled with initmacy in the first couple of years in our marriage (I have read your story and noted many similarities) and pregnancy and children actually improved that area for us. Yes–I was more tired etc. but overall that area in our marriage got even better…just sharing that to encourage you :) We’ve been married almost 16 years now…with 5 kiddos added to our family…and He has been faithful to continue to improve our marriage (not without struggles for sure) when it comes to intimacy. I guess I was a little worried about how adding kiddos might change that.

    On a very practical note–I love Rachel Jankovic’s book “Loving the Little Years” and one of the best things I ever did when we had several littles was to buy a cookbook holder I liked, to stick it on the kitchen counter and to leave my Bible open there to whatever I was reading. It’s still there to this day…because when things get hectic…it’s one way to keep Him present in my thoughts and to take even just a few seconds to read a Psalm or something.

    • http://www.onefunmom.com Christy

      I love the cookbook holder idea, Kara! I think I’ll do it before I forget again!

    • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled Wife

      Wow thank you Kara for your encouraging words! I will look into the book you recommended and I love the cook book idea :)

  • Stephanie Leeder

    Hi,
    My name is Stephanie. I had my first baby (a little girl) 7 months ago. She was a surprise but also is such a blessing. We love her so much and can’t imagine life without her. As you are preparing for motherhood expect the unexpected. Towards the end of my pregnancy I became preeclamptic and the dr did an emergency c-section because my body was shutting down. My husband is a youth pastor and was there the day she was born however the following three days he was only in and out of the hospital (it was a weekend). Recovering from all that was hard and was not something we had planned for. Now looking bak we know it was Gods will as I have been able to talk to some other ladies in our church who are struggling with childbirth and what to do. Also have supportive friends they will help you so much. I am very thankful to our church ladies and pray that I can return some of the blessings they did for me. If you have any questions about pregnancy or early childhood (I also teach I our Christian school) let me know I would love to answer them :)

    • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled Wife

      Thanks Stephanie! Praise God for bringing you through and using others to help you and encourage you through recovery!

  • http://twitter.com/YoungWifesGuide Jami Leigh

    How wonderful! We are also expecting our first child later this year and I want to do everything I can to prepare for that now! :) Thank you for sharing your heart today!

    • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled Wife

      You’re welcome! Congratulations Jami!!

  • http://www.onefunmom.com Christy

    Welcome to the team, Jennifer! What a great post, and I enjoyed perusing your blog this morning. I’m impressed by your transparency and your forethought. I am expecting our fifth baby and do so cling to my like-minded friends and daily times with Jesus.

    • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled Wife

      Thank you Christy! I feel honored to be a contributor! Glad you liked Unveiled Wife and congratulations on number 5!!

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  • Shannon

    Congratulations! My journey has been similar to yours in many ways and the Lord brought my husband and I to the place where He grew In us a desire for kids…now we have two boys, 3 1/2 and 14 months. Like marriage, I find parenting reveals my sin and points me over and over to Christ and His deep deep stores of grace and mercy. When we were expecting our first, ALL the reading we did was about childbirth. Then we had our first and realized there was so much more to learn and so much less time to read :) . That said, however, I would still recommend reading about childbirth and preparing for that part of mothering :) . The Lamaze book is a great place to start.

    By God’s grace, you will be just the mother your precious little one needs. :)

    • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled Wife

      Congratulations to you as well Shannon! Your words are so encouraging about pointing to Christ and His deep deep stores of grace and mercy! Thanks for sharing!

  • Shonda

    Those are such great ways to prepare! I am a mom of 2 little ones ages 1 and 3 and I pray that you enjoy this journey of motherhood as much as I do. There will be many trying times and things will not go your way, but just remember who created your little one. One thing that I thought of that is not really a way to prepare for motherhood, but something to keep in mind especially as a mom is to keep your husband top priority. You can get so distracted by your kids and not have enough time or energy for him. Make time everyday to show him your love. It sounds easy, but believe me, when baby is crying and you don’t get any sleep, your husband suffers too. Congratulations! Can’t wait to see your new baby and welcome to the Better Mom!

    • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled Wife

      Shonda you are right on! Thanks for the reminder to keep hubby number 1!

  • Mcabest

    Hey Jennifer
    Congrats!First, I will say thank you for your posts! I found that motherhood is busy! Finding moments to pursue God, let’s be honest are challenging, but not impossible. When I would get up at night when the house was quiet to breastfeed I would be in prayer for our children. Praying for all aspects of their lives present, & future but most importantly to have a personal relationship with Christ. I’m trying to be honest, yes Mama was tired sometimes & I may have dozed off. But praying over them has forged the path to praying for them now. Another huge issue for me is passing a faith legacy on that will impact future generations of my family. I didn’t have one passed on so those are 2 of my main focuses. Not my only ones. I was tryn to help give you insight & examples of things I did that impact & still impact our day to day life. Blessings & I hope labor & delievery is short for you.

    • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled Wife

      Thank you so much for sharing! I love praying with my husband and I will take your advice and pray when I am up with baby! Praying over loved ones is soooo important!

  • Veronica

    I found Ina May Gaskin’s books VERY helpful, encouraging & empowering (“Spiritual Midwifery” and “Guide to Childbirth” are my favorites). Also, The Business of Being Born (DVD) was very informative — I loved it! To have your best birth, inform yourself!

    • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled Wife

      Thanks Veronica!!

  • Alyssa

    Hello!
    Thank you for this post. I also really enjoyed the Unveiled Wife and signed up over there as well!!
    I am expecting my first child November 5th of this year and I am nervous as all get out. I never particularly wanted to be a mother and finding out my husband and I were pregnant was quite a shock!

    I really just want to thank you for your honesty in this post. I have been having a lot of trouble finding blogs about pregnancy that aren’t just about dealing with morning sickness or what to buy for baby. And its great to hear it from someone who is still pregnant as well! Thanks again!

    • http://unveiledwife.com/ Unveiled Wife

      How awesome! We are so close in our pregnancies! Thanks for checking our Unveiled Wife and signing-up!! I am praying that your pregnancy continues on well!

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