Stop the Drip

June 26, 2012 By

When are we ever going to start doing family devotions?

drip

Why don't you finish those projects I asked you to do months ago?

drip

How come I have to do all the work around here?

drip

A constant dripping on a day of steady rain and a contentious woman are alike;
Proverbs 27:15

It's hard not to be drippy, especially if you have a husband who is laid back by nature.  You feel like without your prodding nothing would ever get done.  You feel like you have to be the driving force behind the household.  You feel like you must remind your husband over and over and over.

drip

drip

drip

Ladies, it's time to plug up the leak and stop the drip!

The leak started because you thought your husband was being lazy or you thought your way was

best or you thought your entire household would crash in on you if you didn't say something.  The leak happened because you forgot Who was in charge.  Not your husband, not you, but God!

The dripping started because you failed to bring your concerns to your husband in a respectful manner.  You didn't want to take the time to be humble and patient.  You wanted what you wanted and you wanted it now.

All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the LORD weighs the spirit.
Proverbs 16:2

Your reasons and requests might have validity.  They might be exactly what your family needs.  But if the delivery of your concerns is drippy, your husband will soon be underwater and unable to hear anything you say.

We need to learn to respect our husbands even when we think they have failed us.  We need to teach our children to respect their father by our actions and our words.  We need to trust that the Lord has not left us all alone in the matter; that He knows our cares and will answer the cries of our hearts without us raining on our husbands with contention and arguments.

We have to learn to stop dripping and start blessing!

Blessings, Amy

raisingarrows.net

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| Filed Under: Marriage/Relationships
About Amy Roberts

Amy of RaisingArrows.net is the homeschooling mother of 6 living children and one precious little girl named Emily being held in the Lord's arms.  Her days are filled with giggly girls, rambunctious boys and sticky baby kisses.  At night, she writes about it all.  It is her deepest desire that out of the overflow of her heart, her mouth should speak...and her fingers type.

  • Baldwinsfruitland

    Thank you Amy. I really needed this. You’ll never know how this affected me. God knew I had to read this. I am so grateful to Him and to you. I appreciate it. Know you are an answer to a prayer. You do good. People are reading and receiving and grateful. May God bless you. Carry on!

  • Kitchengrapevine

    I like where you said The leak happened because you forgot who was in charge. Not your husband Not you but God. Its so so true! God is in charge and we need to go to Him first before we approach our husband and take the time to be humble and patient. Then go to our husbands respectfully. Thanks for sharing.

  • http://thechuppies.blogspot.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

    Great reminder Amy…I need this one over and over and over.
    And it’s difficult at times to find the balance (and differentiate) between been a helper (when a reminder might be something helpful and he would actually appreciate it) or when it is really just the drip. drip. drip. that I don’t want to be.

    I’m trying to ask more often–
    “Do you want me to remind you about _______?”
    “Would you like me to email you when we get closer to _____________?”
    “Or…I have a concern about _________ (usually kiddo related). Sometime this weekend, could you plan a time for us to talk about it? ”

    MY guy juggles so much for his work and often appreciates a reminder about issues on the home-front…but on the flip side, I over step that SO often too and don’t trust God’s ability to nudge him if needed.

    I will always remember reading a Linda Dillow book and her words… “you are not your husband’s Holy Spirit.” So convincting.

  • http://gricefullyhomeschooling.com/ Jen G

    Thank you Amy! Just what I needed to hear today!!! Great encouragement!

  • Crystal P

    Thank you for this Amy! The Lord spoke straight to my heart through you this morning, oh how I needed to hear that today!

  • Jenifer

    LOVE this!! Thank you for this reminder!

    jenifermetzger.org

  • http://beingjune.wordpress.com/ Julia

    This took me YEARS to figure out. But now that I “get it,” life has gotten a great deal smoother. I still slip up, but knowing that God’s in charge and that the only person I can control is MYSELF…there’s peace in that. Thanks for the great post.

  • http://jamieleehergott.wordpress.com/ Jamie Hergott

    YES. I agree 100%. Takes a LOT of self-control but bears so much fruit. :) Thanks for posting!!

  • Trina

    Hit the nail on the head for today. I am content to be at home, doing the things I need to do at home, but I find myself wishing my husband was more involved in these things. We both chose to live on an acreage, requiring extra work from us both, but it seems I am the one who does “the most”. I have to constantly remind myself that “I” chose this lifestyle too. And I must bear the responsibility of it. Thank you, thank you, thank you for The Better Mom pages! Every day is an encouragement!

  • HeatherMavis

    I hear it loud and clear. It is good to know that I am not alone in this,#1 I face the same temptation to be a drip,#2 I don’t want to try to defend my drippiness.

  • Chica_para_dios

    contentious according to the dictionary is not just reminding your hubby of things.
    Contentious:
    1. Causing or likely to cause an argument; controversial.
    2. Involving heated argument.

    I am not saying nagging the man is a great idea, but that’s not really what the verse is saying. Lets be true to scripture. Arguing and causing unneccesary conflict is like constant dripping. Sometimes we go a bit overboard and think we can’t share any thoughts, ideas or constructive criticism but James 5 says “19 My brethren, if any among you strays from the truth and one turns him back, 20 let him know that [s]he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.” There are many times when it is most loving and serves your man best to bring up concerns.

    • More Than Four Walls

      I agree with you Chca_para_dios & also with Amy.

      It’s not necessarily what we say but how we say it. An example “When are we ever going to start doing family devotions?” or “I feel the Lord is calling us to do family devotions together, would you be willing to consider it, can we talk about it tomorrow afternoon?”

      Two totally different approaches. For my husband, who is not to the point of being able to lead devotions but would participate, the second question would win him over much more so than the first. AND our family would be better off for it.

      I too have had to learn that nagging will not work. Honoring him, respecting him and speaking truth in love will.

      Blessings!

  • Jennifer

    We have had some things going on outside of our household that have directly affected me. And because I have been VERY unhappy, they have affected my husband. The Lord gave me an opportunity yesterday to take steps to remedy (or at least explain my actions in) the situation. I don’t know yet how well it was received by the “offending” party, but I feel lighter and have needed to have that conversation for about a year. I am hoping that what I was able to say will be taken to heart and that they will step back and let me be me, wife and mother. And if it isn’t, at least I have explained my position and will be able to “defend” myself in the future, rather than stewing and pretending everything is blissful.

  • http://www.toodarnhappy.com/ Kim Hall

    The proverbs verse on a contentious woman that you quoted is so appropriate.

    When we think of our words as an irritating, drippy faucet, hopefully it will give us pause and help us choose our words more wisely. It causes me to ask: Do we want our words to be a refreshing drink or a constant drip that carves channels through rock?

  • http://www.wifemotherfirstlady.com/ Kathy Sykes

    Great post as usual and I also want to say that when we start taking the focus off of others and put it back on ourselves and what we should be doing, then we won’t have time to criticize. I am preaching to the choir!