Planning for Parenthood

May 6, 2012 By

It all started with a courtship.  Perhaps it was love at first sight or maybe it was a gradual growing till love matured to perfection.  

Smiles.  Whispers of sweet nothings.  

A proposal, followed by a fairytale wedding with sweet flowers and soft music.

The honeymoon.  Life reaching a new normal.

Just the two of us.  Life is good.

Then something happens.  A baby is on the way.   Perhaps one of the most difficult yet greatest blessings of their lives is suddenly thrown upon the couple.  It was completely unexpected and unplanned for.  How will they deal with this big change?  Where will they get the finances?  Where will they get the know how to care for this great thing entrusted to them? How will they keep strong their love for one another?

Unfortunately this is the story of many young couples.  Going about life so wrapped up in the here and now that they have forgotten to prepare for the future.  Many couples go into marriage without discussing the topic of children and child rearing at all or very little.

Perhaps they want to start a family several years down the road or maybe the thought has just never crossed their minds.

But babies happen.  Sometimes at the most unexpected times and we must be ready and prepared for them.  Children are a great and wonderful gift from the Lord.  By His grace and sovereignty they are entrusted to parents to protect them, provide for them and train them in the things of the Lord.  It’s an awesome responsibility that should never be taken lightly.  Parents have the amazing privilege to grow their little ones and then shoot them out like little arrows to shake the world with their passion for Christ.

Children are too big of a responsibility not to plan for.  We must prepare ourselves.

We should strive to be ready for these sweet gifts now- in the courting stage, during engagement and young married life.

It is so important that couples discuss children and child rearing as early on in their relationship as possible.  One of the top reasons for divorce is difference of opinion when it comes to children and family life.  Talk about this topic sooner rather than later so both of you can have unity in this area.  It’s much easier to discuss this topic for the first time with a gentle spirit before the responsibility lays on your shoulders

  • Study what a Christ-centered family looks like and make sure you are both on the same page as far as how many children you hope to have, how you will educate them, what discipline methods you will use and just christian parenting philosophies in general.
  • Children are a wonderful blessing but they do not come without expense.  It’s so important to talk as a couple and make sure you can provide for a child properly.  Even if you want to wait a few years to have children sometimes God surprises us with a little blessing sooner than we had planned.  It’s a good idea to keep this in mind when looking towards marriage or when budgeting as a young married couple.

Children are a great gift and responsibility from the Lord.  Take time to prepare for them now whether you are single, dating, engaged or married.  This is good for you, your marriage/future marriage and God’s future image bearers.  

Find out how to radically prepare for children here.

Photo Credit 

This post was shared at: Homestead Barn Hop; Welcome Home Mondays; Modest Mondays; Soli Deo Gloria; Titus 2sdays; On Your Heart Tuesdays; Domestically Divine; Gratituesday; Welcome Wednesdays; Works for Me Wednesdays; Living Well Wednesdays; Homemaking Link-Up

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9 Comments | Filed Under: Babies, Boys, Child Safety, Discipling Children, Family Management, Following God, Girls, Homeschooling, Marriage/Relationships, Parenting, Teens, Toddlers Tagged With:
About Ashley Schnarr

Ashley is a stay-at-home daughter preparing for her future dream of being a wife and mother.  She blogs at www.stayathomedaughter.com where she shares her passion for Christ, Biblical femininity and preparation for the future.  Ashley comes from a family of seven.  She enjoys ministering in song, being a wedding cake decorator, long time babysitter, and new author of "Keeping House...While Keeping Sane".  You can follow Ashley through her blog, facebook, or twitter.

  • http://twitter.com/reachingHISkids Ingrid

    This is such an important topic. When my hubby and I were dating we talked about children, parenting, etc. However, I really think that until you are in the midst of it, you don’t have a clue. At least that was my experience. Prior to kids we agreed on everything we talked about but we have struggled in the day to day rearing of our children. I think our early discussions were vague. For example, we both agreed that we needed to parent our children according to what the Bible says. Yep, we both agreed that was important. However, we never talked deeper because we didn’t have the experience with children to really know what that meant or how diverse it could be. I think what would be helpful, in a follow up post, is to go into greater detail on what young couples should discuss, recommend several books to look at, etc. Maybe do a post highlighting different parenting philosophies and the pros and cons or a post highlighting good books with summaries. This post was good but a little vague and if I were back in my engaged days, I would agree with the post but not know where to start or what exact details to discuss. I hope this makes sense. I really feel for young couples. I still feel like I am one of them but then I look at the date and realize I’ve been married almost 15 years. Yikes! Time flies.

    • Ashley

      Ingrid, That is a great idea to have a follow up post with more specifics! I will have to be thinking about working on something like that in the near future.

      Congratulations on 15 years of marriage! What a blessing and wonderful testimony!

    • http://articles.earthlingshandbook.org/ Becca

      Ingrid, I agree that discussing specifics is very important! I found it helpful to spend some time on a parenting discussion board and bring up issues I had seen there: “Some moms are arguing about whether it’s okay to change a diaper in the living room at a family gathering or you should do it in the bathroom. What do you think?” We found that we agreed about a lot, which was very encouraging! But when we disagreed, explaining our opinions to each other was very educational. Another way to trigger these discussions is with parenting books of the type that give a lot of specific examples. One of our favorites is How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk. Now that our son is older, he likes to read the “comic strips” from this book, too, and discuss whether he thinks the parent said the right thing! :-)

  • Sharon

    Ashley, your wisdom always blows me away! I so enjoy reading your posts. When my husband and I met, I knew he wanted more children than I did. But, he had ZERO experience with children (whereas I had a younger sibling, had worked at a daycare center and had babysat for several families starting at a very young age). I was certain once we had one child, my husband would change his mind and not want anymore. That is not what happened at all! We now have a daughter that we both love more than life itself. But, we have argued about whether or not to have more kids, more times than I can count. We each have our same arguments that we pull out every time, which means we accomplish nothing during these “discussions.” We met later in life and the clock is really ticking as far as how much time we have to have any more kids. It’s a “now or never” type of deal. I have decided to be obedient to my husband and have agreed to have at least one more. I know couples all have things they will never agree on, and this is our #1 area of disagreement.

    As far as preparing couples for parenthood, I don’t know how to do it. I knew parenting was gonna be super, super hard. Just like I knew marriage would be super hard. But, they both wound up being a million times harder than I ever expected. (And I married a great man and have a relatively easy tempermented daughter.) That’s just the way marriage and parenting are! I agree with Ingrid’s comment about not having a clue until you are in the midst of it. Perhaps there is a reason we don’t know exactly what marriage/parenting involves ahead of time. Otherwise we might opt out.

    • Ashley

      Sharon,
      Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. I’ll certainly pray as you and your husband make this decision on having children. I know if you both are seeking the Lord He will show you what to do!

      I so appreciate your complement but please let me assure you any wisdom I have was learned from others. And really that’s how I’ve been preparing for future parenthood, by gleaning wisdom from others. Older men and women have so much we can learn from in this area!

  • Jami@ Young Wife’s Guide

    I love this Ashely! I so agree, many young couples now don’t even want kids for 10 years and are putting off even thinking about having babies! So many don’t talk about it before marriage like you said! Thank you for this post :) my hubby and I are so excited for the day we become parents and are busy talking all about it now :)

    • Ashley

      Taking about children can be so much fun! I’m so happy to hear you and your husband are looking forward to those special blessings!

  • http://www.facebook.com/kellibecton Kelli Parker Becton

    we talked about it on our honeymoon (and before) but on our honeymoon we said “oh wouldn’t it be great ??? and you know what? it was! we got pregnant in Costa Rica :) 12 years later we have 3 beautiful boys! God is good- that is one of the prettiest babies I’ve ever seen!!!

  • http://www.servingjoyfully.com/ Crystal @ Serving Joyfully

    I agree that talking about it is important, but at the same time you have to realize that all the planning in the world can’t really prepare you for that moment when you become “mother.” And, I think that planning needs to be a guide, like with most things in life. Because sometimes things don’t go as planned, and motherhood really requires a LOT of being flexible (it has for me anyway).