Real Help For Messy Moms

February 15, 2012 By Adrienne

I never belonged to one of those clubs when I was a little girl.

I wasn’t one of those girls who signed her name “Adrienne the Great.”

I didn’t wear designer jeans and was felt that I “didn’t belong.”

But I’m thinking about starting a new club. And since I get to be the President I guess I might finally feel that I fit in.

Maybe.

You see, I am really good at:

Keeping a tight financial ship. (We have no debt despite several advanced degrees, heaping medical bills (for Asperger’s Syndrome and adrenal fatigue) and a “well-under-six-figure” income. Need budget help? Check out my Top 10 DIY posts and thoughts on inflation.)
Feeding our family wholesome foods including really healthy snacks (like Almost Reese’s Candy and Healthy Almond Joy?)
Raising our kids with a knowledge of civics and current events (my kids know about how the FDA is trying to ban supplements and that we have grave concerns about Planned Parenthood.)

But I’m not so good at:

Staying focused on one thing at a time (I’m just passionate about so many things )
Not getting overly stressed out with my family (with God’s grace, this has been getting better.)
Keeping an orderly home (Growing up in a home where my mom left her coat on the back of a dining room chair since she was just going to need it again the next morning didn’t help.)

There are more things I could add, but that’s enough vulnerability for one post, right ? (And no – that is not a photo of my home. Maybe next time.)

Anyway, we’ve been struggling a lot recently with wanting to be more hospitable. We love people and so do our kids.

But my embarrassment about my “lived in” home really gets in the way.

I’ve joked about this once or twice, but I think I’m about ready to launch a new women’s ministry nationwide.

It’s called The Messy Mom Club.

The Rules:

1. Have someone over to your home at least once per week.

2. You may not clean your home before said guests come over. (A quick removal of gross items is allowed. You know–moldy food or stuff in the toilet.)

3. If it’s discovered that you scurried and yelled before the guests came over, you’re out of the club, but you may immediately be reconsidered for membership if you vow to change.

Here’s the important part.

I truly want to show love to my family and others more than I want to care about what people think of my housekeeping skills–or lack thereof.

Truth is, I admire others’ beautiful, perfect homes, but have felt the most love in homes that were a lot less than perfect since I knew that those people loved us enough to show their real selves.

And my heart breaks to hear older women say that they wish they had spent less time cleaning and more time just loving their family and friends.

Now, I know it’s not good to have constant mess and disorder. And I know I need more routine in my life.

But truthfully, I have a lot on my plate. My husband reminds me of this when I despair of “the mess.” He says, “Look, you:

homeschool
have a special needs child
have adrenal fatigue and
have two boys
Make that two boys and a husband who’s a messie. He told me to write that (that’s the kind of great guy he is).
cook everything from scratch
have one son with life threatening food allergies
and you manage our finances well (usually). You can’t. do. everything.”

He’s right.

One thing at a time.

Care to join? Just let me know in the comment form below .

If you’re in West Michigan, we’ll meet at my home.

In another area? Email me at wholenewmom {at} gmail {dot} com to apply to be a group leader.

Am I joking? Sort of. Wanna join?

Photo Source: Flickr Photo stream of Puuikibeach

186 Comments | Filed Under: Following God, Home Organization, Homemaking, Homeschooling, Marriage/Relationships, Ministries and Missions, Parenting, Special Needs

About Adrienne

Adrienne, of Whole New Mom, is a wife and homeschooling mother of two boys, one of whom has Asperger's Syndrome and life-threatening food allergies. In her past life she worked in the financial services industry and also taught in Japan. She has a passion to help others navigate the sea of information on the road to healthier lives, while trusting God for the results of their efforts. Additionally, she is a blossoming food freedom advocate. Because she loves to (and can’t afford not to :-)), she specializes in frugal living and simplifying special diets. You can also find her on Facebook or follow her on Twitter.

Chara S

I’ll join you!!! I love your group plan! I have been dealing with a similar issue- my concerns about my house were keeping me from really enjoying the people that I love. I’ve cleaned out (read- gotten rid of) so many things and I haven’t missed them at all- all I can think about is how much I enjoy the easier maintenance! (I will admit my donation station is still a little overflowing- need to get that dropped off). Thank you for helping us know we aren’t alone!
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  You are for sure not alone! I finally had some folks over in the past 2 weeks and it was a real relief. Hard to stomach, but a relief. And we are cleaning out too, but it isn’t as fast as I’d like due to my not being able to push myself so hard.
  
  And I bet my “donation station” is bigger than yours .
  - DP Wyoming
    
    I want to join!! I never have people over…. I have never been a good housekeeper, it would be nice to not feel guilty all the time!!
Carol Bruckmann

Oh my goodness. I’m in. Aside from the special needs child you just described my life. And I’m pretty sure that you took that picture at my house. Can I be Vice President?
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  So funny! You know, I really think I need to do that. You can email me and we can see where we go from here .
  - Carol Bruckmann
    
    So I had to come back and comment again. This morning I was thinking about this post and realized that you would have to make a rule to occasionally invite different people over. I have a friend that comes over every week, and she i used to the insanity. Inviting a different friend would challenge me. Also when you make meals from scratch you have a TON of dishes. We are doing well to just get our dishes washed, girl!
http://thechuppies.blogspot.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

I LOVE #3 under the rules…
Great post!
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Thanks, Kara! My son assured me yesterday that our house is NOT as bad as the photo. I’m happy about that, at least .
Sfigg22

I’m in! I have 3 boys under 5 and I hate to have people over because my house looks like a hurricane hit in no matter how much I clean. I try to cook everything from scratch, manage the finances, and try to keep the bathrooms clean. LOL, it’s the best I can do. I am known to do what my husband calls “the flight of the bumble bee” before company (especially my mother) arrives at my house.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  I hear you on the bumble bee thing. I’m trying to just do a slow flutter now since the stress has really done me in. And the bathrooms are a real problem. I need a good solution for bad stains from water. I hear pumice stones work but haven’t found one yet .
  - Lori
    
    Try filling the bathtub with water then dumping in a whole box of borax or whole bottle of bleach. It reduces the water stain and if you leave the shower curtain in it gets a nice clean too.
    - Karol
      
      I recommend vinegar instead of bleach. (Clorine isn’t good for you!) Vinegar is great against hard water deposits.
  - Chantel
    
    The Works toilet bowl cleaner can take an orange bathtub back to white. (Just be sure that you wear gloves and it is well-ventilated.) It works quickly and saved our bath when I thought it was beyond rescue.
  - Alongigal
    
    There used to be a site (think there would still be) from Don Aslett and his books (there is Life After Housework) and several others .. he is a professional cleaner with lots of products (pumice stone included) -they do work well – with some elbow grease added – we bought our new home and one of the first things my dad showed me was how to make our toilet look like new… such a blessing!
http://www.singingthroughtherain.net/ Kathryn

Wow this sounds exactly like my life. If I were in Michigan I would totally join!! My husband is deployed so I am doing everything by myself, my son has special needs too (he is in therapy for eating problems, OT, and speech), and I feel the same way about my home. I want it to be lived in but not embarrassing when people come over. Thanks for sharing your heart!
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Thanks for sharing yours, Kathryn! My heart goes out to you. Having only one parent to deal with all of this is rough. It’s too much for me on my own. I guess that’s my point. This shouldn’t be embarrassing. We all have gifts in certain areas and we can’t all do everything. Works in progress, right?
Chelsea

I am sooo in!!! My mom quoted a someone (I can’t remember her name) once… “If the house is clean enough for my family, it’s clean enough!” I struggle with this a bit, but if I really think about the people we love and want to spend time with, they have kids and LIVE in thier homes ,too! AHhhhh, freedom!
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Nice quote! Of course, my house isn’t clean enough for me – and that’s the point. But we have choices to make daily and I for sure would rather have people over than sit and deal with my stuff. I just can’t get it all done right now.
http://becominggodsgift.blogspot.com/ tascha.piatt

my life is not nearly the same kind of full as your life, but my housekeeping skills are not that great. i have great plans and detailed [and not detailed] lists… but no matter how much I do in one day, it just doesn’t all get done-ever. so i get discouraged. and overwhelmed-and then i just shut down. thanks for letting me know I’m not alone. [:) and i would TOTALLY join your club if i lived anywhere NEAR Michigan
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  You all realize, I hope, that I am (sort of) joking about the club. But then again, maybe not. And if we have it – it should be nationwide I think .
  
  I shut down too. Or just avoid and do something else. Even if I do the prescribed “15 minutes per day” there is always a lot more.
  
  Hang in there!
Sabrina Scheerer

Sounds like me!!! Too many passions/hobbies (not that I have time for any of them), trying to learn to cook more from scratch and healthier, trying to get out of debt, homeschooling, 3 kids-6, 2 and baby. Husband in the army so NEVER home (even when he is ‘home’). I do our finances too. Its the best I can do most of the time to keep everyone fed, stay (relatively) on top of dishes and laundry and keep the bills paid on time….
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Whew. I’m tired just reading your list. Take a deep breath, pray, and move on to the next thing. Blessings to you and your little ones.
stinnett51102

Totally get that!!! Thanks for being transparent and letting us know we are not alone and it’s ok!!!
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Working on knowing it’s OK .
Hkpacker

I would love to join but live in Idaho
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  I just revised the post. I meant (if this really can happen ) that anyone can join….remote leaders apply .
  - Hkpacker
    
    I am totally in! I loved the post about the plaque that was posted about if you are coming to see my house make an appointment but if you are coming to see me welcome (or something like that). Maybe that should be the way to know if you are part of the “club”
Amy Snow

It’s like we are twins! My house is in upheaval the majority of the time. We have 5 kiddos. 10, 9, 5, 3, 7 months. I homeschool. I’m a medical transcriptionist from home. Life is ccccrazy!!!
Laura Sortwell

I’m a mommy to three beautiful blessings ages 2 1/2, 1 1/2, and 9 months….and I am 3 months pregnant with #4. Needless to say, my life is SO busy, and my house gets put on the back burner. I do let my MIL see, and my best friend, who comes over sometimes to help me clean! But I too want to be more hospitable. I want to have people over for dinner, or have other mommies over for playdates; but I feel so embarrassed about my home. Thanks for this post, it really was a blessing! And it was just what I needed today!
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  I’d love to come over. I don’t care at all. In fact, the mess makes me love others more. How nice to know they trust me not to judge!
Jneiser

I want to join! I just joined a moms group and one of them stopped by yesterday to pick up extra coupons. As I opened the door I explained that I am sorry if she is bothered by the craziness of my house but this is how we live and I am now refusing to get all anxious about people seeing my mess. I saw a quote once that said “Pardon the mess. My children are busy making memories.“ And another that said, something about dirty dishes means my kids had a filling home cooked meal, the dirty clothes around means my family has clean clothes to wear, and the toys in the floor means that they are all happy and healthy enough to play.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  I love everything that you shared. I need those sayings posted on my wall. Sometimes very true sayings like that speak almost as much truth as the Word. Thanks.
- http://www.raisingyourchildren.net/ Tina Marantette
  
  Funny! My Grandmother said that if you went into someones house who had children, and the windows were clean and sparkly, that a ‘mean’ mom lived there. (She’d have to be mean to keep the little kids fingerprints off!)
Farmgal4ever

I’m thinking that picture might be of MY house lol. I would love to join, but I’m in WV soooooo….. =)
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Ditto to all out of towners – you are all welcome . And it looks like my donations pile – sort of – it got all discombobulated when we had a washer / dryer delivered and I haven’t sorted through it yet .
http://profile.yahoo.com/KVXZQSBZVPEHPWNWS7ZYIYCRVY Sheri

Okay, I am in too! I would like to blame my messes on my 4 kids under the age of 4…but reality is before I was a stay at home mom, my house was a bit of a mess then too. I blamed it on my jumping from interest to interest. I love to stock up on ingredients for a project, meal, activity and then move on to the next thing! A facebook page might be an easy way to start the group! I have been known to stay up until Midnight cleaning in anticipation of my in-laws visiting the next day!
- Mariazhope
  
  Hey I thought I was the only one that stayed up half the night to clean…:) I have been known to stash stuff in the attic as well…oh wow I am really opening up now…hehehe
  - http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
    
    One of my friends said she puts clutter in bins and then puts it all in the basement. Wish I were that organized! . I guess eventually it’s easier to go through, though….you look at it and think, “Why do I have this?”
    - http://profile.yahoo.com/KVXZQSBZVPEHPWNWS7ZYIYCRVY Sheri
      
      I have clutter bins too. But once they get filled they never seem to get emptied…something else to work on too! Okay, now the Maytag repairman just showed up…I was sure to clean the downstairs(where the laundry room is) spic and span…he asked to used the bathroom…had to walk through the rest of the house…OOPS! Wasn’t looking so good!
Farmgal4ever

And I should have added: we had a dinner party last night with 2 couples and their kids. The kids played upstairs while we ate. One of the dads was so very concerned about helping us clean up (he even sent a text after they went home saying he felt bad) I asked my husband, “Didn’t he see what it looked like when they got here!?!” LOL I can’t tell the difference. I have been unwell the past couple weeks and didn’t have the energy to get as much cleaned up as I hoped, so it was kind of embarrasing, but I am so glad we had some friends over finally!! No point in trying to hide the way things are. The truth is out LOL
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  We were in the same place when we had folks over for the Superbowl. Our basement was a mess. Their house is perfect. Always. Oh well….I’m glad they’re still our friends .
beth

I’m in.
homeschool. 2 special needs kids and a special needs husband. Cook from scratch. Garden- try to start my own vegies and flowers on the windowsil. Part-time sewing hobbyist (think dust, fabric, thread). Carpenter husband brings in dust, tools, left-overs from job sites (windows, shingles, 2×4′s…)
My embarrassment has to do with the “gutted basement bathroom will only take 6 months to re-do but has taken 6 years.” So the one bathroom with working plumbing fixtures has a make shift shower: garden hose and clear poly. Ok that and the boxes of stuff that I don’t know what to do with after my dad died.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  I think it would be great if we could have the club and help each other out so we don’t all have to sweat it out alone and / or hire professional organizers. I just need a friend to help me sort through things. And I would love to see your basement bathroom. I kind of think the “model home” portrait we wish to paint is a way of not showing that we are all real.
Mariazhope

Thank you for sharing and if I was in Michigan I would so love to join…I am a monster mama freak when it comes to cleaning up before company comes over I am working on NOT being like that…We have two lil ones 5 year old, 3 year old and in the process of adopting so we have been going thru inspections on top of it all… Our son has asthma and is deathly allergic to peanuts but also has a milk and wheat allergy that are not deathly thank GOD….I am a full time student, also battling fibromyalgia, ulcerative crohns, and just found out am boderline diabetic that was induced by the meds I have to take for the other stuff…I love to make homemade muffins for their breakfast, I just love to cook, and hope to be an adoption specialist in a year…Oh yeah we keep our neighbors son too every afternoon after school…

I have learned a little something about about my rediculous expectation of having such a neat and tidy home all the time it is NOT possible, however I have learned about myself if the kitchen is tidy and the bathrooms (Sink, toilet) are descent I don’t panic as much about the rest of the stuff..with all this being said thank GOD for HIS GRACE!!!!
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Thanks so much for sharing everything. I would love to correspond about the ailments you are facing. I had fibromyalgia too myself and was hypoglycemic. I am still working no everything, but those things are gone. Perhaps I can be of help to you. You can drop me a line if you are interested or check out my adrenal fatigue posts for a bit more info. I have a lot more to share but it is going to take time to get it all done .
- Lissi
  
  Have you heard of the GAPS diet? It is a special healing diet and it has helped many many people with asthma, allergies, food allergies, fibromyalgia, crohn’s disease, diabetes and heaps of other things. It heals the gut lining and reestablishes good gut bacteria with real food and it is amazing!! please look into it, im sure it can help you as it has helped my family. google gaps diet and theres heaps of info. =D
Karie

I definitely want to join! My house is my biggest struggle.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Now I just need everyone’s email addys! .
Kristie B

I am in. I stay home with 3 kids 4 and under. 2 others are in school. I am also in school myself online. Plus, I am tired all of the time. I have always struggled with mess though. I look at it sometimes and just don’t know where to begin. With certain people I am comfortable letting them see my mess, but others, I know they are judging me. I know I shouldn’t let it bother me, but it does. I honestly probably just need to manage my time better. :/
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Hi Kristie. Please take care of yourself. I feel the same way as you do – where to begin? I am a little concerned that you say you are tired all the time. Have you seen my posts on adrenal fatigue? Please take a look and be gentle with yourself. I am coming out of a really bad pit and it got quite horrible. Thank God it is a whole lot better now. I’d be happy to help as I can if need be. Blessings – .
Dunderwood_iin

I’m in too! I have 4 boys (3 teens and a 9 year old!) also a hobby farm with lots more members included! lol I have A.D.D so I really struggle with feeling overwhelmed and a big contributor is my home! I have lots of passions and hobbies that take up most my thinking ability. I also cook whole foods from scratch and watch gluten due to allergies. I also live in Western Michigan too, you are welcome to feel at home in my mess as well I work daily on my nutrition and lifestyle (balance as well) being I am a health coach I am also human who also understands other humans!
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Hi there fellow Michigander! You are free to get in touch w/ me. Maybe we can connect! I have been thinking about getting a health coach license so we can talk about that as well! And we are off gluten too .
  - Dunderwood_iin
    
    That sounds great! From what I see, it seems like health coaching could work well for you I live close to Lake Michigan ( So beautiful! ) and would love to get in touch! My email is dunderwood_iin@yahoo.com
Christina V.

I. Love. This! I NEED this! Joking or not, there is a great need for such an encouragement. I’m in. And I could lead a group on keeping a messy house, anyway. Not so sure about the hospitality part, but I’m willing and desiring to change!
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Love it! A group on keeping a messy house .
http://www.themostperfectgift.blogspot.com/ Dawn @ The Most Perfect Gift

I’m in! Can I join, please!? I’m a single mom of two young boys (6 and 3) I work full time and find the housecleaning definitely gets pushed to the bottom of my to do list ALL THE TIME! If you come to my house you WILL trip over several toy trucks, cars and super heroes. AND you will always usually find a pile of dirty dishes in my sink and clean ones stacked on the counter still drying from like (last week) because my dish washer is broken. Thanks for this post today! I really needed it.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  You’re welcome – and I really needed all this encouragement.
Lmsadik67

I love your post today! That used to be me….going crazy before company came, dinner having to be perfect and I finally had to talk to my husband and share that this pressure is tooooo much, we live here, this is our home, and I want to enjoy having people over….now I do my best to have the house picked up and tidy, but “we live here” my house is a home not a museum and I enjoy my company much more and I think they enjoy it more too…they don’t worry about their children touching something or making a mess…it is very freeing.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Such a good perspective! Thanks for sharing. We live a little too much sometimes, but we’re working on it!
Tprest423

I NEED to join that club! That club was made for me! I, too, never felt like I fit in, but I can DO this one. I don’t get a lot of company, so I tend to forget how messy it is but I’m sure my family would like a little more order. I really do try…but I fall short. A lot.
I homeschool, too, so I tend to justify my lack of order as pursuing loftier purposes…but them others I condemn myself for not getting my act together.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  I fall short a lot too. My family tells me that our house is not that bad. And they encourage me by telling me that others have some messes too .
TAB

Love this blog! Thank you for being real- it makes me feel better about myself.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Real (within reasons) is a very good thing.
Missy

Me, me, meeeeee! My inner Martha gets in the way of my inner Mary sometimes too! Most days I’m so exhausted by the end of the day that sippy cups, snack crumbs, trucks, blocks, trains, shoes, socks, etc lay strewn across my house! And I’ve learned to give myself grace enough to not stress over it. Hey, I figure of the Lord is coming back one day, would He be impressed with my house or with the condition of my heart! Playing with my children and discipling them and spending time with my husband is far more important than making sure my house is pristine! Blessings and Grace to us all! .
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Very true comments, Missy! Thanks!
- Alongigal
  
  however, we must take care that we don’t use this as an excuse for more messiness, since discipline and love demand truly teaching our children to take part in the exercise of learning where to put their blocks, trains, shoes, cups, etc. when they are done. I once babysat in the home of a mom who was perhaps very controlling (but Little children can thrive in that environment) but she had them play with one toy at a time and put it away when done – very constructive .. why not? I learned quickly that’s how i wanted our home to be .. although i used the excuse that my jacket was going to be used again soon and it sits on the back of a chair as i speak (well i did put it away earlier, but it sat there for a while yesterday & today)! We do all struggle in this area, some more than others ..
Lori

I’m in too! With homeschooling and taking care of a 7 month old it seems there is never time to do more than clean the kitchen and a general pickup. Laundry and homeschooling are the only two things I can seem to complete successfully in a day. I’m trying to organize and prepare for the possibility of another move this summer when I’ve not even unpacked from the last move 1 1/2 years ago. The boxes in the basement are where I am truly stuck as well as the day to day maintenance with 3 kiddos learning to help.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  I so agree – laundry and dishes for me are what get done. The boxes are still waiting…
http://lostlupti.blogspot.com/ Heather Brandon

I’m in. My husband and I were never orderly, though we love to blame it on working full time and having toddlers. I would love the motivation of having the house semi company ready on a regular basis, just so I don’t have to do the “Great Scramble” all the time! Let me know if you get interest in the Dallas area
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  I can’t stand the “Great Scramble” either. In fact, it’s like a shuffle these days.
Erin

Great idea Adrienne! I completely understand how you feel. My house used to be super tidy, but then I was diagnosed with chronic Lyme disease. Add that to two kids with some minor special needs and my house isn’t where I would like it to be. It is not “messy” just not as tidy as I would like. I have learned to let go as this is just a season. I thank God for my wonderful husband and all the help he gives.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Lyme can be brutal. I know what you mean. It’s hard for me b/c my husband isn’t a neaty. You are blessed for sure. Mine does really want to help though and it’s getting better.
  - Erin
    
    It is a blessing to have a husband who is willing to vaccum or do dishes . I forget to mention that we too face many food allergies in our family. I’ve become very adept at switching up recipes though. Have you tried grain free? The lyme is brutal but I see two amazing Christian homeopaths (one is also a traditional MD who has his MD in homeopathy as well). Our family also takes a lot of supplements. We have had to learn to do with a lot less. The lessons my two little ones are learning are so valuable, and although I hate having lyme a lot of good has come out of it.
    - http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
      
      Hi Erin. I do not have Lyme (that I know of) but I have just gone grain free. I was going great but I am dumping metals and it appears I can’t handle the grains right now…Maybe never. We’ve always done w/ less, but compared to those in other nations we are doing very well. And frugality helps us be able to “splurge” occasionally.
      - Erin
        
        My son and I can’t really tolerate grains either. My son has a lot of gut issues that we are still trying to figure out. He was exposed to the lyme in in utero and that seems to be affecting his development. We are just so glad to have all the time together as a family. It has really taught my children what is important…love. They understand that stuff is just stuff and isn’t what we are to be all about. I’ve found some good paleo recipes as well as grain free ones on Elana’s Pantry website. Her grain free cookbooks are good too.
- Angie
  
  HI. I ‘m a single mom with Chronic lyme, my daughter contracted it in utero and deals with many food allergies. I cook everything from scratch and work full time. Needless to say I am always tired! And always am behind on house work. I praise God that he is helping me be less concerned with this. I am learning that hearts and souls are what matter most! When I come to the end of the road and look back I’m for sure I’ll say I wish had spent more time with_______, not I wish my house had been cleaner. Wondering if you’re in VA would be interested in your Dr’s name… blessings to you
  - Erin
    
    Hi Angie,
    I am in CA. I have read a couple great books on Lyme that you may be interested in. They are by a Christian who has had lyme for about 10 years. They have been a huge help. The author is Connie Strasheim. My smptoms started when I was pregant with my second child and he now is showing signs of some developmental delays. My husband also contracted one of my co-existing infections. So far, my daughter (my oldest) isn’t showing any signs. We don’t know how long I had the lyme before it was diagnosed.
Heather

My mom used to have a plaque on our door that read, “If you’ve come to see my house, you need to make an appointment. If you’ve come to see me, you’re welcome.” I think it helped set the tone for the guests as they entered. I need to make myself this plaque as a reminder for me too. I enjoyed the post!
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  I love this! I need to make this plaque. Someone needs to make a bunch and sell them. Hmmmm…
  - Hkpacker
    
    Love this!!!! I am going to make one on my Cricut!!!!!
    - Karin
      
      I had someone tell me that years ago. In here words – “If you want to see me, come over anytime. If you want to see my house, give me a few days notice.”
Momof5

Me, me, me, me!!!!! *raises hand to join*.
We used to have people over all the time before we had our third child. (We now have five children.) After the third child, things slowly began going downhill in the homekeeping department. The “great shuffle” no longer would make much of a dent after child number four. Now, it would be a total day affair to get things company ready, and that still involves a lot of “stash and dash” and “You could go upstairs, but then I’d have to erase your memory.” The thing is that my husband and I want to be more hospitable, and want our children to be able to have their friends over. However, when the first thing your son’s new friend says when he comes in (unplanned visit) is “Do you even have a vacuum?” it makes having company daunting.
I wish other moms would stop the shuffle so that we can all see that it is normal to have piles here and there, especially as a homeschooling mom of multiple children. Children’s things are going to be seen in a home full of children. Kitchen counters are used and might have a few things involved in food prep on the counters. And not everyone cleans their burner pans after each spill.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  I love your comment. I’ve had similar experiences and can’t begin to think how long a real cleaning would take after years of adrenal fatigue. I had a brother in law tell me, just after coming over for Thanksgiving, that I needed to have a garage sale. Boy did I have to hold my tongue about a number of issues where he isn’t measuring up. It’s all about grace. We all need it.
Sharon

Sign me up!! I never kept a super neat house, but, I always liked that when I got tired of the mess, I could clean it up. Now I’m married, so not all of the mess (aka clutter) is mine to get rid of as I please, and with a toddler, there are toys and various things strewn about. My in-laws are coming in two days and I’ve been under the weather. But, I desperately want our house to be presentable while they are here! Perhaps I can send them this post ahead of time to prepare them
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  I think that’s a GREAT idea – send the post ahead of time . Please don’t push yourself. It causes more problems long term. Our bodies need rest.
hayboosmom

Adrienne, God bless you for your vulnerability. You are an amazing woman and an example to all of us. Thank you for sharing!
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  If my messiness can be an example (or maybe you just mean my vulnerability ), then I have been greatly blessed today. Thank you for sharing too!
Judith

Glad to know it’s not just me. I’m always amazed when my neighbors open their garage door and the only thing in there is their cars. I could blame it on the fact that they don’t have kids and we have two boys. But truthfully, it was a mess before the kids came along. I invite people over a good bit, but I close a lot of doors. People are not allowed to just roam freely around my house.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  . I feel the same way about others’ garages. Like they must spend all day cleaning or something….or maybe they’re just OK w/ throwing a lot out – whereas I feel so bad not recycling or repurposing. Closed doors here too.
Wtcoffma

I need to join too! Three littles (5,3,&2), cooking everything from scratch gluten free, running my stamping business while the boys sleep at night, probably adrenal fatigue but cannot fathom one more thing to deal with right now…I tried a moms club but the first meeting included a presentation by a nutritionist that set my hair on fire lol. Where do we sign up?
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  OK – maybe I need to really start this. Please feel free to contact me about adrenals. I can help as I have time. I’d love to hear more about the nutritionist …. ???
Ccl

I’m in! I’ve grown a lot in this area , but seem to be around those “born organized” people…. and of course have compared my homes to there for WAY too long!
Thank you for sharing on this topic that so many of us struggle with- WE aren’t alone!!!!
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  The comparison thin is horrible on so many fronts. Cleaning, appearance, money and homeschooling. And on and on……..We are all precious as made. With different gifts. Let’s help each other, I say .
Jen @ BigBInder

I love this!! And yes, I’d like to come over I shared this on Google+.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  I saw you shared – that was very kind of you. Shoot me an email and let’s get together .
Christa

I would SO TOTALLY join!!! I’m in western MI too – but I’m in the UP, so I’m guessing we’re a little far apart?? You are NOT.ALONE!
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Guess I should have said South West . But I’ve never seen the UP – so maybe I have a reason now! I’d actually wanted to come anyway!
Traceygcaldwell

When I see someone elses messy house it makes me feel normal.
I feel guilty if as the day wears on, I have a fairly clean house but kids that have barely had my attention. They grow up so fast! I have four boys… 15, 5, 3 and 6 months. There is always someone needing feed, changed, hugged, kissed and/or high fived.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  I tell women when they say, “oh , please don’t go in that room”, that they will make me feel much better about myself if they don’t hide their messiness.
Holly Elliott

I love the club idea. I will totally lead a chapter. In fact, a central theme to my blog is photos of my messy living room. My friends get a kick out of it. http://nerdymomspeaks.blogspot.com/
Jodi

I’ve from Grand Rapids! Where do you live?
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Email me at wholenewmom at gmail. Let’s connect! Yippee! Maybe this will really happen!
http://www.facebook.com/dianna.maxwell Dianna Maxwell

Me, me, me!!! I want to join! I’m a homeschooling mama too and I sometimes feel my home will be invaded by the tv crew from the Hoarders show. Not actually that bad, but does feel overwhelming most of the time. My problem is that I have way to many interests and the supplies that goes along with each of them. I’m going to have to stretch to figure out who to invite, we rarely have company and to invite guests once a week will take some serious thought. Looking forward to playing along. I’m in West Virginia, by the way.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  I feel the same way. I think there is balance here, but I love blogging, developing recipes, activism, photos, and it takes room to be a bargain shopper and environmentally conscious. Hard to balance it all. Think about your most accepting friend and start there!
Chelsy

This is Me! I would love to join a group like this! I am struggling with this same thing, I homeschool 4 kids, and 3 of them are age 4 and under…. yes VERY messy I was raised in a home where everything had to be clean at all times or my mom was cranky. So to keep her happy I constantly cleaned up after everyone. Now I am realizing that it is impossible to do it all, and really a messy house is the least of the important things on my to do list. Thanks for sharing this!
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  My mom was raised in a home where there was one “white room”. It was basically off limits. I know it can go both ways, but this is a lot of where her messiness came from. Relief in her adulthood from the childhood pressures.
Amanda S

This is my kind of group! I get so bent out of shape when people come over. Just last week it was our turn to host our bi-weekly small group bible study and my poor husband couldn’t figure out why I was in such a bad mood … then he remembered that a dozen people were on there way over. I have to admit though I’ve felt God working on me in this area of my life. I’m in my first year of homeschooling my oldest of three and I’ve seen my standards for a tidy house change as we’ve been adjusted to this and other changes. And I’ll never forget the feeling I had when a couple from church (now dear friends) first invited us over for dinner and she had a whole pile of socks stacked up on the edge of their couch … I love her for letting me see that!
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Wow. What a memory that this brings back for me. When I was going through a very tough time getting no sleep with an allergic infant, a friend from church invited me over for “come anytime” time. I went over numerous days in a row. Cheerios on the floor, laundry on the sofa. My kind of friend. We were close ever since that time.
Linda

I just want to say God bless you! I am a 50+ year old grandma now. I have 3 daughters, the youngest is almost an adult and the cutest little 3 and a half year old grandson who is a real mess maker. But I would not trade him for the neatest house on earth. I have always been somewhat of a messie or a slob just to be honest. I love a clean home but when all is said and done,it will not matter if I’m not the neatest person on earth. I strived to have a neat home when I was younger tho I homeschooled,tried to garden,can and help my husband with his home business besides him having another full time job. We also completely reworked two old farm houses, had 2 miscarriages and for almost 12 years I lived in alot of physical pain. I still struggle with pain issues at times. I don’t regret that my house was not cleaner,I regret not being able to spend more quality time with my kids. The old saying”Quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep, I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep” is very true. I for one do not mind going to someone’s house that’s not a “neat freak”because my house is certainly lived in too.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Just so many good comments here. Thanks for the blessing wishes and I send them back to you as well!
Erin Slocum

Love this!! I’m a stay at home, homeschooling mom of 8 kids ages 7 years to 15 months and needed this today. My house is never spotless. It’s always messy, but my kids are all loved and learning. I struggle with apologizing profusely when people come over(even though I really did try to clean) about how the house looks. It’s lived in and since it’s really too small for our family I have a lot of trouble keeping it organized.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  I echo everything here. Just different aged kids .
http://www.raisingyourchildren.net/ Tina Marantette

I used to be very picky about my house. I always wanted it to look like a picture from a magazine; no dust, no mess, all the pillows just ‘so,’ everything shiny.
We have a home group every Monday night at our house. We do it on Mondays because I have that day off and can ‘clean’ first. I don’t clean though. I have changed so much that I really don’t care if these people see my mess and dirt and disorganization. I do care if ‘certain’ people stop by; the people that have beautiful homes and hire landscapers and cleaning services. The normal dust, a little mess here and there, is no big deal.
Along time ago a friend from church came to my house; she told me that I had a reputation for being meticulous. I didn’t like hearing that, because it wasn’t a compliment but a reprimand. I know where it came from…another friend from church would feel bad when she came to my house because it was clean and hers wasn’t. I realized then that a clean house intimidated other women. By clean I mean furniture polished, floors mopped and waxed, freshly vacuumed carpet, good smelling, etc. These are the things that we should let go of sometimes. It is a compliment to people we care about that we are willing to open ourselves up to them. It makes us ‘transparent.’ When we are transparent, we open ourselves up to what others think. We presume they will think negatively. If they do, so what? Most of the time people don’t see or notice what we see in ourselves or our homes. We are so much harder on ourselves. But by risking their censure, we are showing them trust. Trust that they will love us anyway. Besides, it isn’t all about me anyway!
As part of the aging process, I got tired of the constant cleaning. I got tired of never being satisfied with my house. I began to lose interest in it, cleaning did not give me the satisfaction that it used to. I began to see the futility of it. A clean and orderly house is right for us to persue because God is a God of order, not chaos. But order is different from sterile. Keeping order is different than obsession. Clean is different than perfectionism. If we question ourselves about our deep down motives for why we do what we do (even cleaning) then even sometimes the good things we do we discover,are done for the wrong reasons, and do not bear fruit for the future.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Wow. Lots of great things to think about here. You are so right that perfect homes are intimidating. They create the expectation that we need to be there ourselves in order to be hospitable ourselves.
Jbedwards2

OK Adrienne! I’m in! But listen, how about when people come over they HELP you with something.
Kind of like how folks used to shell peas on the back porch or something. Let’s get over the idea that having people over has to be “entertaining”.
Jennifer Edwards
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Yes, Jennifer. I love that idea. I’d much prefer going to someone’s home and helping them with something than just “being served.” It’s the same as knowing that you will develop the best friendships when doing ministry / serving with others. Much better than just going to an entertainment event together (not that I’m against a good concert or Griffins Hockey game .)
http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom

Hi Joy. Thanks for chiming in! If I lived nearby I’d come and be forever accepting!
http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom

Hi there. Did you see my Facebook post about a PT editing job?
heather

I am a messy mom. But I was messy forever, way before I was a Mom. i NEVER apologize for my house (my hubby told me that) Even last week when I had ikea pieces laying all over my two nice sofas (they were only there for 2 days) I didn’t even explain anything. Even though it was someone who was never in my house before! I try to keep things kind of picked up. I have friends whose homes are immaculate and more kids than me! but, we can all do what we can do. I’m very comfortable having more kids come over after school than they are, so….
The best compliment I ever got was from 2 mutual friend who agreed that “Heather is so nice! Not matter how trashed her house is, she always acts like she is so happy to see you and hear about your life!” Of course I’m happy to see them, then I don’t have to clean! However, I’m trying to just stay more picked up!
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  . Very nice, Heather. I think the moral of the story is that it is much more important to be a friend than to be neat. Again – not a license to be horribly sloppy, but if that’s where you are you should still be hospitable. And not a hermit.
Kathleen at Providence Farms

I know this is a bit tongue-in-cheek, but I can testify having someone over every week has helped this
pile-stuff-everywhere, homeschooling, make things from scratch, manage two pregnant milking goats, a llama and 9 chickens, special diet mom. Since we have friends that come to our house throughout the week to pick up their goat milk, mentally I am forced to try to keep things neater than my nature would have me otherwise. It’s amazing how well it works! Have my friends ever seen my house when it was declared a disaster area? Oh, yes! I try not to be mortified, but it’s incentive to get back to it.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  I have a co op out of my home and sell a few other things so I have the same issue. But sometimes I just can’t do much about it. That’s what I mean…I can’t push myself all the time and I need it to just be OK.
http://www.facebook.com/dinnertimediva Michele B.

I’m so in!!! It’s funny, when a was growing up, I was very messy. My mom would always ask me what I would do when I had my own home, and I insisted that when I had my OWN house, that, of course, I would be neat and tidy. Well, I’m not. It’s just not in me. Of course, I’m busy with the kids, and working some from home, and room mom, and bmx mom (as well as other sports and activities), and teaching stroller strides, and my MOPS group, and making sure everyone is fed and read to and played with, not to mention trying to cultivate my other friendships…and of course I can’t leave my husband out! But the truth is, I would probably just be messy anyway (but at least now I have an excuse!)…We always joke that we love having people over because it’s the only thing that gets us to clean house, but our closest friends and family do see us in the real, day-to-day, thick of things. I really hope it does make them feel the love in our home.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  It would make me feel loved – that’s for sure. Thanks for sharing.
Wendy

Hmm. Tempting. A little scary. Definitely motivating. I think I’ll start by inviting a friend who I don’t need to impress… I’m in, though!
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Hi Wendy! This was all a grandiose idea at first but I might just have to put feet on it. Yea!
Nikki Shoemaker

Thank you for this post! It’s good to know that I’m not the only one who struggles with this issue. I have 5 children (ages 8, 7, 5, 3, and 2) and often times I would love to extend hospitality to others but avoid doing so because we often have toys, crumbs, clothes, etc. scattered on the floor, and various other messes that need cleaning up. My heart longs for face-to-face social interaction with others and would like my children and their friends to feel like our home is always open to visitors.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Couldn’t have said it better. Thanks for sharing.
http://nycshare.blogspot.com/ City Share

I think letting someone into your messy house really helps them to let go and be comfortable. They don’t need to worry that they (or their) kids will mess it up.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  That is so true! I don’t think anyone mentioned that yet!
http://raiasrecipes.blogspot.com/ Raia Torn

I struggle with the same thing: feeling the calling to be hospitable, but being too proud to not have a perfect house first and too busy to actually ever have it that way. Therefore, the hospitable part never really happens… So yes, I’ll join your club. I’ll start a branch in the south-east Montana area Oh, and thanks for allowing the toilet cleaning part…. God’s blessings on your club and home.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Montana – how beautiful! We’ll have to see what happens here. I am praying….
http://articles.earthlingshandbook.org/ Becca

I love your club idea! I am trying to behave that way with friends who come over. I grew up in a town where many women and girls believed that a home is “supposed” to be as clean and neat and sterile as a hotel, and if you don’t keep it that way you are a BAD WOMAN. I heard a lot of nasty comments about my mom because our home was…comfortable and interesting. So I struggle with fear that people will judge me for my housekeeping–but I live in a completely different place now.

C.S. Lewis wrote that worrying about how your home appears to guests is the kind of Pride that is a Deadly Sin. I am trying to let it go and focus on the things that really matter!
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Wow Becca. I am so sorry about the comments about your mom. I was teased a bit b/c my mom was heavy. But only by one kid I think.
  
  I love the CS Lewis reference. Do you know where that was from? That’s so true. I feel the ugliness in my heart just thinking about my home and someone seeing it. Thanks.
Anonymous

I’m in!!! I’m in!!!! (just don’t come to MY house….lol)
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
outtathere

I’d love to join but all my friends have perfect houses!
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Hmm…Some of mine too…..let’s branch out to new friends as well!
Joanna Rodriguez

I am just getting into fly lady. I find the tips very helpful and encouraging, and they are not about perfectionism but about baby steps, which is what I need!
CateK

I am so there.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  I had a rough time dealing w/ my home today as it got pretty chaotic. Thanks for taking the time to comment.
http://www.facebook.com/pezshimer Stephanie Moran

I am your perfect candidate .. We moved into our old farmhouse last year… It seems we can never keep up.. We have three kids, two boys 5 & 1, and one girl 2. Needless to say, the two little ones are extra curious and get into everything! I find myself cleaning up one mess, while they are making another. Our schedules do not allow us to get a lot of chores and cleaning done during the week. My finace works 1st shift, I work 2nd shift. Basically, we are single parents all week long.

My finace thinks I do too much on top of our work schedules. My oldest goes to public school, but I insist on him bringing his lunch (this seems to be unpopular in our area), because I just cringe at the thought of school food. My kids rarely eat cereal, they always have a warm cooked breakfast. This sometimes starts the day out stressful and messy, especially if I wake up late (due to the 2nd shift thing).

My daughter has speech therapy 3 times a week. The therapist comes to the house. Someone sees our mess regularly – it took me a long time to get over the fact that my house cannot be perfect when she comes over!! On top of this, my daughter goes to preschool 2 days a week, while she’s in school I take the little one to swimming lessons. We make time to go a library story time once a week and when we are up to it, the local Parents as Teachers play group. The weekends are not much relief either, as my older son is playing floor hockey and then I take the older ones to swimming lessons.

If I am not working the weekend (on top of the week before & after) we try to catch up on the basics – cleaning & laundry… oh yea, and not to mention spending time with the rest of our extended family The only thing we aim to get done during the week is the dishes, which my finance does – and I often leave a mountain of dishes from breakfast and preparing lunches.

I am responsible for the finances, the grocery shopping, and coordinating the kids schedules. I have been slowly changing our diets and been focusing on eating whole foods and preparing everything from scratch as well. I have found this as my relief from all the stress of everyday, but this has added to our mess as my learning curve takes more time than popping something pre-made in the oven.

I think my biggest problem with our mess – is the abundance of paper that comes with our every day life that I cannot seem to control. Our house is littered with toys, clothes, & papers. Every room has at least 3 lost socks! We also have 2 dogs and 4 cats to add to all the fun!!

Sorry I just posted a book – but this was a relief to read this! My mom and grandma are clean/neat freaks and just don’t understand how I can stand to live as I do .. They think something is wrong with me and that I don’t do enough around my house.

My goal – to keep my counter free from clutter!!
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  I love your book . I am working on my counters too. And you are so right. Whole foods lifestyle is not conducive to a neat home.
  
  Your schedule is really rough Be easy on yourself. Stress is no good for you in so many ways.
Anonymous

I’m in! Home schooling, home based businesses, 4 kids and 2 adults and a dog and a bunny in a 2-bedroom flat, homeschool support group leader, blogger, household manager, trying to homestead, activity taxi for orchestra and violin lessons, and much, much more! Yes! I.can’t.do.it.all.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Wow. Breathless just reading this!
Lisa

I am so glad to learn I am not the only homeschooling mom with a loving, messy house! I remember several years ago, when my son was a toddler…a well-meaning lady from the church I was attending came over, and loaned me a book about how to decorate and keep a tidy house. She said that was her goal the entire time she raised her three children. Her husband once bragged to me that “they could eat off the floors, they were so clean”. I actually felt sorry for her, that her only “hobby” then and now is keeping an immaculate home. I grew up in one of those types of environments, and what I remember is my mother rarely interacting with my brother and I. She was too busy being fixated on what my father called, “Crazy Clean”. My brother recently visited, and told us that he loved our house, it was colorful, cozy, lived in, and welcoming. He liked that that my house isn’t the museum we grew up in, and that it instead sends a message of comfort and welcome. Of course, the piles are bugging me, but hey, I am homeschooling, preparing homemade food for every meal, tackling laundry, being responsible for the finances, leading a two-hour adult Bible study at church, participating in the handbell choir…..
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  I think you have the completely right perspective. Now, I still am going to tackle these projects, but I don’t want to get bent out of shape with them. Thanks for sharing!
Carrie Gray

I too am a homeschooling mom with 3 boys and a daughter. I was told recently by a very wise elderly woman that she used to tell people who were visiting, “If you are coming to see my house, give me a two week notice. If you are coming to see me, stop by anytime!” I loved that and have adopted it in our home. Life is too short and my kids are growing up so quickly, I’d hate to miss out on an opportunity with them because I was cleaning!!
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Carrie – another woman commented with almost the same words exactly. Thanks for sharing!
http://ourshelteringtree.blogspot.com/ Pamela

Wow…your plate is full! I love how you choose the important things of life to focus on. The day will come when you have more time to spend on the perfect house.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Pamela – I really needed to hear that. It is hard to know whether to keep everything on my plate or not – but I really appreciate your thoughts.
http://www.facebook.com/greenheartmom Jill Denkins

I am defiantly in your club.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  . This really might have to go somewhere!
http://www.facebook.com/necole.modert Necole Modert

Wow, I just found your post and I need to join! I’m in Southwest Michigan too! On any given day you can find dishes in my sink, clothes on the couch & toys on the floor. Most of the time I don’t care if friends come over and see it, but it can get pretty bad. I have two boys 3 years & eight months. My oldest was just diagnosed with autism last month and I feel like I’m still trying to get my feet back under me. My best friend comes over about once a week and when I apologize for the mess she always says, ‘You do what you can and that’s ok.’ It’s nice to have reassurance.
Becky

I’m trying to figure out if you’re serious about this or not? I live in Jenison…and I’d join your club in a heartbeat. My house is always cluttered…but my son & husband are well-loved, I cook everything from scratch to accommodate our food intolerances, I garden, I make my own cleaning products, I have a home business (part of the clutter stems from that!), I volunteer at church, etc…

My husband was raised in a family where cleanliness was equated with Godliness. He doesn’t remember his mom ever playing with them, or reading to them…all of his memories are of her cleaning. I think that is so sad, so why do I let her judgement of my home clutter get to me? I feel like I’m getting better at not being bothered if people see my clutter, but I still get a sick feeling when people come to the door, and I know that their house looks like a Parade Home any time you enter…
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Oh my Becky. Sorry I didn’t see this until just now….I didn’t know comments were still coming in. I am serious…I think. Like I need one more thing. You can email me at wholenewmom at gmail and we can see what happens. .
Amanda

I want to Join!! My children (and husband) are very busy learning and growing (and making a mess. My husband is prob. the biggest “messie” of them all) So our house constantly looks like a tornado flew through it, and I AM judged by certain extended family members for the state of our home…and it hurts a little, even though I WILL be focusing on my children, and NOT my home ANYWAY!

I just “discovered” you this morning- we learned yesterday that my 18 month old has a milk, soy and shrimp allergy. I am new to “alternative” options, and am SO happy that you are sharing your knowledge! I am sure I will be “turning to you” for knowledge as we begin this journey. Bless you for sharing!!!
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Thanks, Amanda! Sorry I didn’t see your comment until just now. I would love to help anyway that I can. Hang in there. You can do it w/ God’s (and others’) help!
Dannette Medina

Finally a mom out there who struggles with their home too! Sometimes it makes me feel so defeated. I love to entertain in my home and I used to not do it because I didn’t think my home was picture perfect. I have wrote a few posts with a similar theme to this one. I think that some people were born with that need to have everything in order, and some are not. I actually find comfort in a bit of a mess. Not sure how I got wired like that but it’s who I am. Thanks so much for sharing…I love this post!
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  How interesting that you are comforted in a bit of a mess…I’d love to hear more of your thoughts on that….
Chantel

This is definitely for me! I’m not too far away, in Indiana. I am a work-from-home homeschooling wife and mother of 4. I struggle with the feelings of failure and defeat. I avoid having people over because the house is just plain embarassing.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Well, I’d put this on the back burner…but maybe it should move to the front. I have the same issues, obviously…but I really don’t care if I go to someone else’s home and it is messy…..
http://profiles.google.com/khestey Heather Estey

Somewhere I saw a sign that said “Welcome to our house. We are: LOUD, messy, fun-loving, caring, pillow-fighting, messy people. Step in the door and be a part of our family.”. I am thinking about painting it on the wall in my entryway. It is hard though, because I teach piano from home four days a week…so sometimes I wonder what my piano parents think when my twins run screaming through the room trailing clothing as they escape from their babysitter. Still, what’s a little mess? This time will soon be gone and my house will be clean……….and I’ll be off visiting my grandkids because my house is too quiet.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  I’ve been thinking the same thing, Heather. And sorry for responding so late. I didn’t realize that comments were still coming in. I think I really will miss the mess as well. Need to just pray and figure out the balance here. Well, there probably isn’t one really .
Schrimsh

Finally someone who understands my excuses about boys being really messy!! I know they can be trained otherwise, but I definitely see the difference between boys and girls. We homeschool and my five oldest are boys, and though the oldest is a neat-freak in some ways, all his brothers are chronic messies and my husband is a chronic messy himself. My youngest, a daughter, is only three and even at this age she picks up random clutter and tries to put it away. I have never seen that kind of behavior from any of my boys- even the neat-freak. Me? I’m a frustrated perfectionist who has the ability to be organized, but really struggle with all the craziness around me. I want to join your club, but I’m afraid I’d be reapplying for membership every other day! However, I’m with you on the hospitality part and find that if I invite someone over, the house ends up mostly clean, and even if there was some stress getting it there, our family enjoys being able to be hospitable. I also find that if I have people over often, the house seems to stay cleaner and cleaner and everyone enjoys the fruits of their labor. My solution? Try to have people over often and the house gets cleaned!
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Sorry about not getting back to you earlier. I didn’t realize comments were still coming in. I think the company idea is great. But digging through the old piles is a hard thing. I think little by little I can do it, but it really is overwhelming especially when you have other big things going on. Thanks for sharing!
Rosario

I’m do not consider myself a Messy Mom, but I am disorganized, I forget things, I love to help others and sometimes that makes me neglect my own home. I’m to nice. My kids really live in heaven, if I was like those other Mom’s that yell and scream at their children, and keep them without dinner until their rooms are clean, my kids will think I’m a witch. I can’t live in a home that is messy and cluttered. It depresses me to see that. So I try my best to keep the living room and kitchen as clean as possible. Even if the rest of the home is a chaos. I’m not sure if I qualify for this club. Should I show you pictures of my attic, and laundry room. Then you will see where all the clutter hides.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Hi Rosario! Thanks for sharing. Sorry, but I didn’t see your comment until just today. I bet your home is pretty neat. Anyway, I get depressed as well, but w/ all the other things going on I can’t keep it too “together” right now. So I need to sort out if something needs to go or it’s just messy in areas while I spend time getting it together more. Take care. And share photos if you’d like .
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yvette

I just found this site and have a messy house. i am a widow of 5 yrs. now/ My kids are 10 and 8 yrs. old. I have quit entertaining because of the messy house. The kids need to be trained better than I am training them. I live by Frankenmuth mi. Where are you?
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Not too far, Yvette. I wonder what we should do next?
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  You can email at wholenewmom at gmail if you’d like. .
Giselle

Hello. I would love to join!! I live in Montreal, Canada though. Let me know what I can do. Those quotes below really made my day.
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Hi Giselle. Sorry about the late response. I didn’t realize that comments were coming in still…. We’ll have to see where this goes. I will have to pray about this.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1281469452 Kim Pettis Thompson

love this post! i AM SO IN THIS CLUB!
- Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  Seriously thinking about doing this .
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Emilie Léonie

That is so funny! I’d like to join but I’m kind of far away! ( Québec) I’m a young mother of two sons of 5 & 6 , hubby is woking something like 80 hours a week and I’m still in university, and really, sometimes ( most of it in fact) I simply don’t have the time to keep my house pristine clean. If you’d ever come by you could probably see that dishes from lunch are still on the counter while I’m trying to prepare dinner, that my bedroom is filled with everyone’s dirty clothes ( no laundry room loll!) that the boy’s toys are on display all over the living room floor and probably that the litter box would do better if changed. I don’t know if the habits are differents in US but here, when we are saying that people are welcome in our house it really does mean, welcome anytime as you wish. So most of my friends, my husband friends, our familys and others are simply coming home without calling or anything anytime of the day. ( sometimes they don’t even bother to knock before entering loll!) It’s totally normal fo us but sometimes it brings a big sense of humility! Am I sometimes ashamed of what my house looks or smell like? Of course!! Am I always happy to see those people, and that they really dont care? Yes! So here it is: I’m a Mom, I’m a Wife, I’m a student and I’m a friend for those who want to come home and have a good time with us. Sometimes I’d like to have a cleaner house, but I’d rather take quality time with my sons and my husband .As eveything else, cleaning needs to be putted back in it’s place, and , frankly , it isn’t ( for me) a top priority! So be messy but be happy!!

P.S. Pardon me if my post is filled with mistakes, english isn’t my first language!
- http://wholenewmom.com/ Adrienne @ Whole New Mom
  
  How encouraging! I am struggling w/ how I feel about my home again – your comments were a breath of fresh air to me. Blessings – and your English is WONDERFUL! I used to teach English as a Foreign Language. . Au revoir!
Joanna

I would like to join! It’s too bad I live in RI or I would practice with you! I miss having company too!
http://www.facebook.com/lilly.thomas.37 Lilly Thomas

I’m in! I’m a messy too. . .
Jesus girl

You sound so much like me! I’d love to join your club but am in Australia. Maybe I can start a chapter over here Love ‘Whole New Mom’ (or ‘Mum’ over here, hehe) too. Came across it while searching for a recipe for homemade chocolate. Haven’t tried your recipe yet (trying to find where I can get cocoa butter over here) but looking forward to giving it a go.
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TrinaC

I want to join too! lol I constantly stress over my housekeeping but have very little time to deal with it.
Tracy Byrd

I am so speechless. I so want to join! I am a homeschool mom of 5 girls and 1 boy. There ages are 10 to 13. I also have a 19 year old daughter and 18 year old son at home. I struggle with wanting things clean and organized but yet wanting to “make memories” instead of spending so much time “cleaning”. Our home is lived in. It is not the perfect museum of a home but it is our home and we are happy. You have inspired me to have someone over at least once a month no matter what shape my home is in.
Justeezie

I want to join .. I am in desprate need of help!!

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