Give Them Grace

The other night I heard the most practical, grace-filled lecture on Titus 2:3-5 I have ever heard. The speaker, Jaylynn Cook (a local pastor’s wife), shared a biblical perspective on mentoring. Among the guidelines, bible verses, and bullet points, she emphasized one thing over and over,

Give them grace.

When you’re mentoring other women, give them grace.
When you’re discipling a new believer, give them grace.
When you’re disciplining your children, give them grace.

Make sure you don’t add to what’s not written in the Word. Give them grace.

Often we adopt practices, beliefs, and convictions that are more rabbit trails from the Word of God, than truths found in the Book of Life. Do you ever find yourself there? How many convictions do you have that aren’t Bible-based?

Yes, we want to be better…to pursue holiness, but sometimes we mistake “better” for holy and we exchange the freedom of Christ for legalism.

Maybe you feel your kitchen has to look a certain way to be a godly woman, clean sink, clutter-free counters, a week of meals planned and ready in the pantry.

Or your children have to behave just so…all the time or you’re a failure as a parent.

Is it getting dressed? Every day, without fail.

Perhaps it’s having an always picked up, organized house? Sharing the gospel so many times in a year? Decorating for every season?

Homeschooling, not homeschooling, public or private school? To work outside the home or from home? Maybe it’s taking a meal to a new neighbor.

There’s nothing wrong with these, but often we hinge our goodness–our rightness before God–on what we do. And we extend that measure of rightness to the lives of others.

We put markers on their chart of sanctification and hold the carrot just a little bit higher and whisper, “If you just do this, you’ll be holier, more godly, better…”

We take the Word of God and set a standard that was never meant to be. We say grace, but preach works.

If we want to make a change in the world, in our relationships, and our family then we must say grace and live it.

Don’t set a standard God never laid down. Be open. Share your mistakes and failings. Let people see your messy house. You don’t need to pretend your kids are always obedient. It’s okay to let your exasperation show, to say, “I can’t do it all” and that you’re tired.

It doesn’t mean you’re weak or less godly…it means you need grace.

It means the sufficiency doesn’t come from you (2 Cor. 12:9).

In seeking to live a holy life, practicing self-control, teaching what is good, and managing our homes, let us not forget the most important thing

Grace.

For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.

For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.

Galatians 5:1, 13

******

Do you give yourself grace? What about the women in your life? Your family?

This post was featured at:
• Soli Deo Gloria
• Titus 2sdays
• Gratituesdays
• Domestically Divine
• Celebrate Christmas Link-Up
• Women Living Well
• Homemaking Link-Up

 

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About Jessica

Jessica is a nomad and reluctant sojourner---she wrestles between longing for Home and the comforts of this world. She believes grace is deep and wide enough for us all and redemption is her favorite word. She's wife to a seminarian and mom to two wild and free boys.
She writes about the everyday life, faith, mercy and justice, as well as her passion for writing at The Reluctant Sojourner. She also chronicles her family's homeschooling journey at Our Montessori Home.
For now, she sets up her tent in Louisville, Kentucky.

  • Sawades4christ

    Thanks, Jessica! I was so blessed by the reminder today! May He be glorified!

    • http://www.reflectionsofaprincess.com Jessica

      Glad to encourage and spread the grace. :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=38309125 Aislynn Holt

    We had the pleasure of attending Jaylynn’s church. They are such a wonderful family. Love them so much and their encouraging words!

    • http://www.reflectionsofaprincess.com Jessica

      This was the first time I heard Jaylynn speak. Her words were very refreshing.

  • http://www.gregandmandi.blogspot.com Amanda

    Thank you so much. I definitely needed this today, especially the verse from 2 Corinthians. :)

    • http://www.reflectionsofaprincess.com Jessica

      I’m glad it was encouraging for you. :) Self-sufficiency is an area I definitely struggle in too.

  • Angie

    Thank you Jessica, that really hit home. Is the message you heard available to listen to?

    • Jessica

      Sorry, but it’s not available online. She was teaching a seminary wives class, but I could send you my lecture notes if you wanted. It might take me awhile, because I’m out of town right now. E-mail me at jessica @ reflectionsofaprincess . com if you’d like them.

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  • http://Godsgracefulness.com GodsGracefulness.com

    I love grace. It’s what I teach, preach and do.
    When my friends fail me.. Grace is what I give to them
    When I am upset, I extend grace to myself.
    I share with people Grace rather than laws/rules. If we can fully understand and capture the goodness of our Savior then it will only make sense that’ll be the driving force to make us want to turn to Him, live for Him obediently and righteously.

  • http://www.cranberryteatime.com Rachel Lundy

    Thank you, Jessica. This was very encouraging to me today. I am in need of so much grace, and it is good to be reminded to extend that same grace to others.

  • Kelly @ The Nourishing Home

    Wonderful! Thank you for sharing this with us! What a much-needed reminder! Merry CHRISTmas to you and yours, Kelly

  • MarieElizabeth

    A good reminder, especially at this time of year when we’re encouraged to have the “perfect holiday”, which is never going to happen.

  • Sarah-Anne

    Jessica, this is soooo needed in women circles! We need grace! We make so many standards that we think God likes, but really, it’s us who like them. Thank you so much! One of my favourite posts in a long time! God bless!

  • Ro elliott

    stopping by from Jen’s…great post…so true…the older I get the more I see the need for Grace…therefore I am seeing the need to give grace…
    Blessings to you…

  • Mwende H

    wow! Once again God shows me a lesson He wants me to learn. I just listened to a message which also talked about…GRACE! Thank you for linking up your post to Women Living Well for you have helped this woman today :)
    God bless!