The Ministry of Listening

November 8, 2011 By

I am married to a storyteller. He loves to tell good, long, detailed stories. I knew this from the moment I met him, and not much has changed over the years.

I think my children have inherited the trait, or perhaps they are just normal children?! Each of them, every day, has an intense, lengthy, detailed story to tell. I receive detailed accounts of a game of robbers, the snake cage design, or the latest book that cannot be put down.  Each and every day it is a choice to, once again, minister to my family by listening. Not just the uh-huh listening, but the face to face, down on their level kind of listening.

Most days this is just fine, but there are those days where my selfish side comes out and thinks, “When will it be my turn?”  Oh, that is ugly to admit.

It’s during those poor-me times that I try to picture Jesus.  He is there, sitting around the table with his disciples at the end of a long, hot day hearing their stories and making eye contact, truly listening to each word they have to say. I don’t think I am taking too much license.  As we see Jesus interacting in the Scriptures, we see Him listening, loving, hearing, and ministering.  And, when He was worn-out who was it that He went and poured out His heart to? God the Father.  He is ALWAYS ready to listen to me talk about my troubles, cares, and joys.  He is the Ultimate Listener ready to minister to my heart, down on my level, and face to face.

In the same way, I want to embrace the ministry of listening. Choosing to minister to my children’s hearts by engaging in what they have to say. I’m hoping that one day, as my children get older, they will know that when they have a problem they can come and know that I will listen.

And as their mother, I will fail at listening to them.  I am a selfish sinner.  But my goal is to introduce them to the Ultimate Listener, the One who will never tire of their stories and is ready to minister to their hearts by listening.

Have you ever thought of listening as a ministry? How do you make time to actively listen to your family? Do you pour out your heart to the Ultimate Listener? I’d love to hear your thoughts and advice!

Blessings, Joy

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30 Comments | Filed Under: Discipling Children, Prayer
About Joy

Joy is the wife to a missionary pilot and they, along with their five kids, live in Indonesia.  Joy is a proud wife, blessed mommy, Diet Coke fanatic, runner, homeschooler, reader, thinker, home-maker, lover of nature, and most of all, an undeserving recipient of amazing grace, and grateful daughter of God.  Joy's heart is to encourage women to revel in their job as mommy and wife, and to see it as good and needed work.  She shares her heart and life of being a mom with readers at her site, Grace Full Mama.

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  • http://www.formissionarymoms.com Ashley @ Missionary Moms

    Thank you so much for this! So timely! God has been working on me in this area lately. It is quite humbling to see my failures as a listener. My kids aren’t yet into telling long stories, but I have realized that often I can listen to their words and engage in the conversation in the moment, but then I let other things quickly come in and become more important and I forget little things that I promised to do for my kids. For example, my daughter often hangs out and does crafts in the kitchen while I cook dinner, and perhaps she’ll ask me to get some scissors off of the shelf at the part of preparation where my hands are dirty. I say ‘Yes, in just a minute” but then get distracted by what I am doing and forget that I have made a promise. Part of what God has been convicting me of is not just listening to the words, but also showing in my actions after the conversation that I have listened well (either by following through on things I said I’d do, no matter how small, or by talking later with my kids about the things that they shared with me). Thanks so much for the encouragement today! I love how God speaks to us through so many means!

    • Joy

      Ashely, I think it is a struggle for all of us, I know it is for me! Hmm, I love what you say about it showing in your actions, not just your words. Great thoughts!! Thanks for adding to the conversation!

  • http://www.amusingmandy.blogspot.com Amanda

    So true. I have been in the habit of trying to finish my boys sentences to hurry along the process. I am ashamed of this and am now intentional at letting them tell their story and invite me into their world. When it is hard to continue to listen to three chatty boys all fighting for their turn, I remember that I can turn to my Heavenly Father for the strength to be still and gentle just once more – and just once more!!! Thanks for the reminder.

    • Joy

      Thanks Amanda. I think you and I are in the same boat….for me it isn’t a once and done choice, it’s a continual daily choice!! :)

  • http://profiles.google.com/cheryl.a.long Cheryl Long

    Wow; I’ve never thought of listening as a ministry! Thank you; I needed this today!

    • Joy

      Thank you sweet Cheryl. You are a blessing and an inspiration in my life. Bless you.

  • http://www.joyfilleddays.wordpress.com Sarah Beals

    My first mentor was just an older lady who listened and gained my trust. Whe I had problems, I would ask her for help and she would help me. It is a ministry!

    • Joy

      Oh that is such a sweet picture of listening. I love it! Thanks so much for sharing Sarah!!

  • http://www.girlsetfree.com Girl Set Free

    I love this – listening IS a beautiful and priceless MINISTRY, indeed! I’ve always deeply valued the concept of listening, but never really quite thought of it as a ministry and yet, so true!! In our culture, we often emphasize the skill of talking, speaking and influencing people, such that I think the value and benefits of listening are pushed aside. Just a few moments of listening can have a far greater impact in someone’s life than, sometimes, hours of speaking! This was a reminder for me to be sure I am being a listener in my home, too – thanks!

    • Joy

      What great thoughts! I am inspired by your passion and vigor! I am excited to join you in this ministry! Thank you for sharing….I love having this kind of encouraging conversation where we all build each other up!

  • http://dogfuranddandelions.wordpress.com/ Elizabeth Johnson

    This is exactly what I needed to read today! I am rather un-talkative (preferring to write rather than speak), and I am mentoring a girl who is extremely high-energy-talkative. And sometimes I get tired of listening and start only hearing. Thanks for reminding me that truly listening is a very real part of ministry. I love the thought of how Christ truly listened to his disciples – his sinful, unbelieving, human disciples. That is definitely a picture to remember when I start getting annoyed at all the talking!
    Thanks so much for sharing this!

    • Joy

      Thanks Elizabeth! I can imagine that it would be a challenge to actively listen to a high energy girl when that is the opposite of who you are. Way to go for mentoring a young girl. That is just awesome!

  • Anonymous

    Ahh!!! Needed this! I have one of those who goes “um” and restarts over and over again and loses his train of thought. Thanks for the reminder!

    • Joy

      Aw, hang in there. That precious um that you know will start everything over again…ahhh. :) One day I am sure we will look back and be sad that we don’t have any “ummers” to listen to anymore. :)

  • http://www.heartchoices.com Debbie

    Active listening is a gift we can give to others. All too often, people want to give unsolicited advice.

    • Joy

      Such wise words Debbie. Great, great thoughts. Thanks for sharing. I love hearing wisdom!!

  • http://www.christian-momma.com Christian Momma

    This is great! My oldest son has a wild imagination and loves to “write” stories. He’ll draw the pictures and then come to me to write down the story as he tells me. I’ll admit there are days when it’s the last thing that I want to do but I’m learning to cherish those moments.

    My daddy was a great listener. He was very good at just sitting there and listening to whatever was on my mind. Now that he’s gone I truly miss that. But I’ve learned that my Father in heaven is always reading and willing to listen.

    Thanks for the reminder!

    • Joy

      Oh I love the picture of your precious dad. What a legacy he leaves for you! Oh, that just touches my heart today. Bless you!!

  • Angie Tolpin

    Such a great post Joy! And so true… I get ugly sometimes too and don’t want to “listen”… great reminder… and to be purposefully taking them to Jesus who can always listen when they feel like no one else is… I think you’ve just inspired today’s lunch devotional… thanks

    • Joy

      I love when I can inspire the lunch devo!! Thanks Ang!

  • http://www.jessandrichard.blogspot.com jessica gardner

    Oh man! How convicting! I struggle with this a lot – but thank yo for reminding me and putting it into perspective. Thank you!

    • Joy

      It’s convicting for me too….I think this will always be a challenge for me, because I am such a sinful woman!

  • Amy Hale

    “And, when He was worn-out who was it that He went and poured out His heart to? God the Father.”

    That really spoke to me! I have been so weary lately…my kids and my husband need me so…depend on me for so much…and all day long it’s like I have sensed God wooing me to come sit with Him and pour my heart out to Him.
    Thank you for this reminder that I need to do just that!
    Amy

    • Joy

      Amy, I love your honesty. Can I be honest? I wrote this post a month ago, and then this week just got back from a trip to the States and I am WEARY. Really weary. SO, this post is a kick in the pants for me too!
      Thanks for sharing here. I truly love this community where we can learn and grow together!

  • Janet Albers

    In my kitchen there is one bar stool across the counter from where I cook, prepare meals, and so on. It is known as the “counseling chair.” It was the seat of honor as I raised four children to adulthood, and now the grandchildren have “discussions” about who will get to sit in “the chair.” Somehow that chair just opens the occupant’s mouth and my ears. :) Back when my children were teenagers, I spent many an evening until the wee hours of the morning “listening.” Ah, yes! Don’t ever take the “ministry of listening” lightly.

  • http://joyfulmothering.net Christin

    As always Joy..you nailed it. :)

    My 9-year old daughter is a chatty young lady and the more I listen, the more she talks. Ha ha! Sometimes, I see it as a burden (I know, selfish sinner here, too). But really? If I take the time to listen, down the road when she’s older and the conversations really matter, that time I invested NOW will REALLY matter.

    That’s why the conversations matter NOW. :) Woo, thank you for this reminder!!!

  • http://thechuppies.blogspot.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

    Love this Joy…
    I’ve never thought about it from the perspective of Jesus being willing to listen to me…go on…and on…and ON…
    As much as I’m often tempted to push the kiddos aside or listen distractedly (and I sometimes…or um…often…unfortunately do)…all I have to do is think of the alternative…them not wanting to talk with me, not being willing to share their interests or pour out their hearts…that is immediate motivation.
    I’m working on (praying for help with) listening fully and really engaging…
    Not being distracted when they need me…

  • http://UnpluggedShop.com Luke Townsley

    Thanks so much for sharing this thought! Had not thought of it in this light exactly, but it is so true — another way to reflect God in our lives.

    • http://UnpluggedShop.com Luke Townsley

      I’m sorry, but Luke Townsley is my husband. This is Hannah writing the comments. =) As you can see, I’m new at this.