One Blogger’s Confessions about Blogs

November 4, 2011 By Shannon McKee

I love the blogosphere. I really do. Duh, I’m a blogger. I love the peeks into other people’s lives and the great ideas. There are a lot of really cool people writing about a lot of really cool things.

But, sometimes it makes me feel stressed. You know? Like I’ll never measure up. Or that I’m totally and completely under the pile. Because there are just so many good ideas out there. Fun things to make and do. Ideas for motivating the kids. Deals to be found by couponing.

Sometimes, when the latest post comes to my feed about the current deals at Target and how I can use a coupon from the Sunday paper combined with a coupon from the Web to get toothpaste for two cents, I feel completely defeated. Because I forgot to buy the Sunday paper. And, now, I’ve ruined everything.

One day, I had 52 posts in my Google Reader in the “grocery shopping” folder. I’m not kidding. It was full of great posts by some lovely women who are looking well to the ways of their household and are just sharing their tips. I’m grateful to benefit from their expertise.

But, I have to admit that I felt like a failure before I even started wading through them. Because I knew I wasn’t really going to do much with all of that info. Mostly because I didn’t really want to go to CVS and Walgreens and Target and Dollar Tree to get the best deals at each place. I just didn’t. But, I felt like I should.

It’s like a whole new level of attempting the Proverbs 31 woman. Because now you can compare yourself to hundreds of women you’ve never met instead of to the handful moms that you know from church or the library or school. At least with those moms, you’ve seen them yell at their kids in a moment of weakness or give in to a tantrum at the park. Not so much with the blogosphere.

You just see awesome coupon-clipper mom who saves her family $600 a month by her diligence. In fact, not only does she do that, she also makes her applesauce from scratch (with pesticide-free apples she picked at the orchard) while incorporating the whole experience into a homeschool lesson on measurement with her six delightful children who love being with their siblings all day long, every single day.

I’m here to tell you that’s not always the reality. When I write a post about our recent successes with our allowance-chore system, it’s because we’ve finally stumbled on something that works for us. I’m probably NOT going to write about the weeks I forget to pay them or the weeks they are selfish and expect to get paid for every little thing they do to help out around here.

My advice? Enjoy what other women are doing, be a part of the conversation when you want to, and glean what you can. Then take your new nugget of info to your husband and to the Lord. Does God want you to be a better steward and clip more coupons? Maybe. Or maybe He wants you to spend that time volunteering at your kids’ school. Even if it means you spend a little more on groceries. Only you and He can discern that.

I just gave you some advice. In a blog. Yikes. I hope that didn’t stress you out…

60 Comments | Filed Under: Following God, Parenting Tagged With: Blogging, Comparison

About Shannon McKee

Shannon is a self-proclaimed putterer. She likes to dabble in this, that, and the other thing. Sometimes that creates a lot of inner turmoil and lost productivity! But, it gives her a lot to write about at her blog In a Mirror Dimly! She feels blessed to be able to write from home, directing some online publicity for a local firm in Northeast Ohio. Some things that move her: loving her Pastor-husband and their two kiddos, supporting the public school her kids attend, sharing hospitality and creating refuge, living missional, and teaching women to study the Bible. That, AND devouring dark chocolate almonds from Trader Joe's.

Leanneprice8270

THANK YOU
THANK YOU
THANK YOU
I loathe clipping coupons
I buy my applesauce at Aldi…and yes, it has high fructose corn syrup
I send my kids to school (a Christian one…but I still send them…)
My kids act up
and yikes, I go to Starbucks almost every day, and I use a credit card (although, we do pay it off each month☺), but sometimes the budget is just blown!
However, I love Jesus; I’m trying to train my children to love Jesus; and I love when bloggers share REAL LIFE, because it where I get the most encouragement!
THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS POST☺

Amy

I think I like you!

http://www.inamirrordimly.net Shannon McKee

Liking is good. Right?!?!

http://www.inamirrordimly.net Shannon McKee

YOU’RE WELCOME
YOU’RE WELCOME
YOU’RE WELCOME
{smile}
Glad I could encourage you along the way! Isn’t grace awesome?!?!
http://www.facebook.com/annmarie.rozelle Annmarie AndBill Rozelle

Amen. That said it all!

Jennifer R

Wow Shannon!! GREAT GREAT post! You’re so funny too! “And now, I’ve ruined everything.” LOL!! I’d be thinking the same thing!! ok, I’ve GOT to share this one!!!!

http://www.inamirrordimly.net Shannon McKee

Thanks Jennifer! Glad I could make you chuckle while I’m at it!! Who doesn’t need a good chuckle first thing in the morning?!?!

http://www.facebook.com/sjwinson Sarah Callahan Winson

Thank you! I absolutely needed this today!! I appreciate you so much!!
Sarah

http://www.inamirrordimly.net Shannon McKee

Thanks Sarah! Glad my musings could encourage you too!

http://www.godsgracefulness.com J.Le

I blog daily. My articles are up daily… I get overwhelmed and feel like I can’t keep up with the pressure.. But I am trusting God. I love this article TY.

http://www.inamirrordimly.net Shannon McKee

It’s so easy to get overwhelmed! I love the richness that the online world brings us but it’s a challenge for me to remember I don’t have to do ALL of it!

http://joyfulmothering.net Christin

That was awesome. I loved the conclusion to it all, Shannon. Yes, maybe God wants us to save money by clipping and running—but maybe, He wants us to save time instead. Every family is so unique with needs!

http://www.inamirrordimly.net Shannon McKee

I love that God has made a diverse world of people with diverse passions, personalities, etc. We can’t compromise on Truth but there sure are a lot of ways to run a home!! Thanks for the affirmation!

http://thechuppies.blogspot.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

Smiling
Love that last line…and the whole point to this post…be who God created you to be…so much freedom in that!
(And I think maybe every once in a while this is why it’s important to throw in a real-life-on-those-days-when-I-don’t-follow-through-post…

http://www.inamirrordimly.net Shannon McKee

Thanks Kara! Good point about throwing in the “bad day” posts. I totally agree. It’s good for the readers. And it’s good for US as the bloggers to feel the freedom to be real, too! Humility. Grace. We certainly don’t have it all together, do we?

Julie P.

Really good points! I don’t like to blog about all the negative and sure a lot of people are like that. So we do need to remember when we read about other lives we are seeing most of the good stuff.

http://www.inamirrordimly.net Shannon McKee

Thanks Julie! And, I don’t want to diminish the value of the good stuff. It is so good to learn from each other’s successes!

Tami

Wow, did I need this today! There is nothing worse than starting my day looking at my RSS feed and feeling the guilt of all the good things I could be doing. I do pare down my feed to only those blogs that truly inspire me, but the lure to perform life at a certain level seems to always be simmering under the surface.

Just a few months ago, I decided to begin trusting God’s design for how He’s uniquely shaped me. So, even though I’m learning about whole foods, it’s winter and we WILL have chicken and dumplings with shortening in them. Yes, we homeschool, but I will not feel guilty that my 10 year old just asked me why we have Thanksgiving (okay, I did almost lose my supper, but I kept it together) The list could go on and on. Your post today was that little extra boost I needed to affirm that, yes, I’m okay the way I am, and the things God directs for our family are exactly what our family needs. As soon as I’m content with that, then I’m able to appreciate the way God has designed other moms who clip coupons, grow their own food or write their own curriculum.

Thank you for a truly uplifting start to my day!

http://www.inamirrordimly.net Shannon McKee

“I decided to beign trusting God’s design for how He’s uniquely shaped me.” Love that, Tami!

http://twitter.com/moretobe Lisa

Great perspective and insight. Thanks for being used by God to see so many free today.

http://www.inamirrordimly.net Shannon McKee

Thanks Lisa!

Cgyork100

I appreciate your insight. I have often thought about the same thing and wondered how much of my stress comes from the blogging world.

http://www.inamirrordimly.net Shannon McKee

I love the web but I also know that sometimes it’s all too much. We just have to walk with God as we wade through the info and opportunities!

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Heather Anderson

This is a great post. We as women tend to compare ourselves anyway and the blogosphere just accentuates it. If we can look at these blogs and the lives of these bloggers and realize that they are just people with strengths in certain areas that we can learn from but not necessarily conform to, life will go much better. There is grace to grow one day at a time and not be Wonder Woman ever.

http://www.inamirrordimly.net Shannon McKee

“Grace to grow one day at a time and not be Wonder Woman ever.” Amen, Heather!

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=677153635 Juli Franz Dirks

Ah, needed to hear I’m not alone in these feelings. I’m limiting my exposure to the “super blog moms” and finding what God wants me to spend my time doing. I’m horrible about comparing myself to others and just have to start shutting out the noise when it begins to defeat me. Thank you for your honesty and transparency.

http://www.inamirrordimly.net Shannon McKee

Comparison is a tough game we often play, isn’t it? I pray that more and more we’ll be able to just rest in Jesus and be encouraged by others.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=23425872 Krista Spinks Bordelon

The perception that these bloggers are proclaiming they are “Super” is defeating for me as a blogger. By sharing my successes I am not proclaiming that I am perfect or better than anyone else. It is meant as an encouragment to the end result. As readers we are aware that their lives are not perfect, and they are not claiming that, so why are we allowing Satan to turn these words of encouragement into feelings of condemnation. Feeling defeated rather than encouraged b/c someone has accomplished something we haven’t or gotten to a place that we are not is destructive. We need to cast these feelings out, and we need to be encouraged that so many women have these successes in their lives. Because even if we’re not there yet, it is possible, and they are proof of that!!!

http://www.inamirrordimly.net Shannon McKee

I think sometimes we need reminded that defeat and comparison aren’t God’s best for us. We can spur one another on. I agree, we do need freedom from the condemnation. Sometimes we just forget…

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=23425872 Krista Spinks Bordelon

It’s so true. And as mothers who inevitably face “failures” every day we come into it with our defenses up and see other mom’s triumphs as judgements of our failures. We forget that “In Christ there is no condemnation.” Whatever feelings of defeat, guilt, or pain we have are attacks from the enemy. We need to remember that God can use these other women to reveal to us the areas of ourselves that need work and change. We don’t have to hold up to the world’s view of perfect, but as Christians we have the freedom to be perfect in our own design through His power.

ASto

Amen, Krista!!!!

Adrhoney

Just read this on FB –reposted from The Modest Mom and I think I love you! I mean I feel you! lol

http://www.inamirrordimly.net Shannon McKee

Thanks!

http://brenda-thethingsiponder.blogspot.com/ Brenda

Amen! Great reminder! We women do tend to compare ourselves!!! That is not good!
Jessica Holmes

I love this. It’s SO true. My favorites folder is FULL of things other moms have done with their kids or to their homes or in their kitchens to make life a little better. The thing to remember is this. Not all of us have a “nitch”. Coupon moms do couponing. Cooking moms do cooking. Crafty moms do crafting. Most of us do a little of everything. So when we look at these blogs where moms seemingly do everything, we just have to remember that so do we. We just do a different everything. And that’s what God made us to do.

I also remind myself that if I was couponing, I wouldn’t be snuggling with my baby girl. If I was baking, I wouldn’t be playing a game with her. If I was crafting, I wouldn’t be taking her for a walk. I don’t necessarily blog about the little things we do together, only the big things and I have to remember that the little things are just as important. And I remember too that that’s what I’m seeing in the blogosphere. The big things that all the moms are doing. We can’t measure ourselves by the big things. But yes, we can take the ideas and use them!

Great post!

http://candleinthenightblog.blogspot.com/

http://www.inamirrordimly.net Shannon McKee

So much is a matter of perspective, isn’t it? Thanks Jessica!

http://www.onefunmom.com Christy

Shannon, you had me laughing! I continually have to check my feelings of inadequacy (or jealousy, even!) and remember that I’m doing what God wants ME to do! And rejoice that I have such amazing online friends!

http://www.inamirrordimly.net Shannon McKee

Thanks Christy! Sometimes it’s good to laugh at ourselves isn’t it?!?! Hee hee.

Hayley Haynes

Thank you!
Rhoda Kindred

oh, my – I love this post and often feel the same way! thanks so much!

http://www.inamirrordimly.net Shannon McKee

Thanks Rhoda – I’m glad we could commiserate

Hislovendures

I totally agree. We tend to compare anyways, and with all the blogs we have access too, it’s so easy to do it. I can get overwhelmed by looking at all the ideas various bloggers have that I’d like to try. And I am totally guilty of reading all about parenting when I should actually be parenting…I don’t blog about a lot of things out of respect for my husband. He is super private. But, most of the people who follow my blog know me in real life and know that our life isn’t perfect. I appreciate bloggers who are real. It’s easier to relate to someone who is real and has struggles like you do. It’s not so easy to relate to someone who appears to have the perfect life. But, I think it’s important to be careful about how honest you are on your blog. I have one friend who bashes her husband from time to time on her blog. I have no idea if he reads her blog, but I know his Mom does! I can’t recall any of the other bloggers I follow (which are quite a few) doing this, but I imagine there are more out there. Anyways, I really appreciate your post. Thanks for sharing!

http://www.inamirrordimly.net Shannon McKee

Love what you said here about “reading all about parenting when I should actually BE parenting.” I struggle with that too. My husband often says that it’s not that we need MORE information. We just need to apply what we know. Hopefully blogs can encourage us along that path, not distract us from it!

Bekah Butler

…and then make good use of that ‘mark all as read’ button and watch the weight just disappear! I have to make myself do that when I feel like I’ll never get caught up.

http://www.inamirrordimly.net Shannon McKee

Love that button! Sometimes it’s just necessary…

http://profiles.google.com/cassandra.dorman Cassandra D

Amen. Truth that needed to be told! I’ve been thinking and feeling the same things, which is why my blog has sat un-blogged for 2 weeks… (sigh).

xo!
Cassandra @ Unplug Your Family

http://www.inamirrordimly.net Shannon McKee

No condemnation about the unblogging It happens sometimes and I’m having a hard time finding the verse that commands us to blog daily!! Hang in there Cassandra and be encouraged by all that IS happening in life!

Michelle

I made a comment earlier, but it’s not posted. I hope I didn’t say something wrong?

http://www.inamirrordimly.net Shannon McKee

I don’t think I saw your comment Michelle! Sorry. It didn’t get deleted on purpose

Michelle

That’s okay Shannon. No worries. I love your post, and I agree with you 100%! : )

Tamarab71

I really enjoyed your post today. I, too, sometimes get overwhelmed with blogs I read and feel inadequate because I don’t see myself as being as successful as these bloggers are in these areas. While I can’t do everything they do, I do try to grab a nugget of helpful info. to use here and there. It’s just nice to share in the success of others and hopefully be able to help someone else with your own blog. Sometimes just being REAL is help in itself. None of us are perfect and it’s ok to admit we have weaknesses sometimes. We’re all just trying to do our best and God knows that. Sometimes, I don’t blog because I feel I haven’t overcome in certain areas so I shouldn’t blog about it; but who has overcome in all areas-no one-just our dear Lord Jesus. So, we’re all striving and we all are growing and learning…it’s just nice to know we’re doing it together.

http://www.inamirrordimly.net Shannon McKee

Amen, Tamara! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

http://www.inamirrordimly.net Shannon McKee

Thanks Cheryl!
http://www.inamirrordimly.net Shannon McKee

I am on the waiting list at the library for Emily’s book already Can’t wait to read it!
Kathy

Thank you! It is so very nice when you find out that others are thinking the same thoughts! I am new to blogging – actually, I have just been reading. I would love to eventually start one…..I enjoy reading your!!

http://www.inamirrordimly.net Shannon McKee

I’m glad you’re enjoying the blog world, Kathy! I started off as a reader too. And decided I’d try writing… I sort of wondered if anyone would care enough to read it but I knew it would be good for my soul either way I’m still sort of shocked people do read it!

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